Toon Kombat!

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What's the latest arcade gaming sensation, with the mindless violence of

Mortal Kombat and... well, the mindless violence of Animaniacs?...

                           That's right, it's

                         T O O N   K O M B A T !

                            (Joke FAQ v 1.0)

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BASIC RULES :

   Usually one quarter to play, one to continue (check local arcades).  The

game pits you against either the computer in competition mode or a friend

in vs. mode.  Each picks a character, and the only one left standing after

two rounds wins.

   After beating all opponents, your character gets a check for 1 zillion

dollars from CEO Platz of Warner Brothers.  (There are spoilers about

character endings and such at the end.)

CONTROLS :

   The joystick configuration is very similar to Martial Champions (which

makes sense, as both use toony characters).

  JL  JU   JR

    O  O  O

     \ | /                   Bap Middle

 L O-- O --O R     Bap Low       (BM)     Bap High

     / | \           (BL)                   (BH)

    O  O  O

  C    C    C

   As with most fightin' games, holding back will block in both crouching

and standing positions.  Crouching standing will deflect air attacks.

   If your opponent is carrying a weapon, you can knock it out of thier

hands by knocking them down.  To pick it up and use it yourself, crouch

down and hit Bap Middle.

THE CHARACTERS AND THIER MOVES :

(All characters are assumed facing right)

YAKKO (Gagicus Toonicus Kiddicus)

   A kid... something, in brown baggy pants.  Taller than his sibs.

He entered the tournament jus tot get the 1 zillion dollar check Platz

is offering to the winner, so he can spruce up the water tower a little.

LOCATION - Inside the water tower, near the flume ride.

WEAPON - Two paddleballs.

SECRET MOVE -

  "RUBBER BALL HARPOON"

O-- O-- (BM) = Yakko flings out the string on his paddles, which wrap around

               the opponent.  He yells, "GET OVER HERE!" and pulls them in.

FATALITY - 

| \  -O (BH) = Yakko executes a series of flips, jumps, and bounces, leans

O  O           in for the kill... then pokes the person with his pinky

               finger.  The opponent promptly falls over, and Yakko takes

               a bow.

VICTORY PHRASE - "You?  Win?  AAaaaaahhhh don't think so."

-=-

WAKKO (Munchicus Toonicus Kiddicus)

   Another child... something or other.  Shorter than Yakko with a red

cap and blue shirt, and a constantly hanging out tounge.  He entered the

tournament so he can afford an All You Can Eat For Eternity breakfast

at Weenie Burger.

LOCATION - Outside the water tower

WEAPON - Toon Wooden Mallet

SECRET MOVE -

  "FLYING HEAD SLAM"

| (charge) O (BH) = Wakko crouches for two seconds, then launches in the air,

O          |        WONKing the opponent three times over the head, then

                    flips back to safety.

FATALITY -

--O --O --O (BM) = Wakko's mallet grows to be about as tall as the screen.

                   He swings it back, and in a MIGHTY KABLAM!!!! pounds

                   his opponent into a pancake.  Then he looks rather happy

                   with himself.

VICTORY PHRASE - BEEELLLCCHHH - "Excuse me!"

           

-=-

DOT (Cuteicus Toonicus Kiddicus)

   The third and final whatever they are, Dot has a cute yellow flower in

her ears and a pink dress.  She entered the competition so she can find

some food for her Pet.

LOCATION - A garden with a ton of flowers and singing plants hijacked from

           Super Mario Brothers 3.

WEAPON - None.  Weapons aren't cute.

SECRET MOVE -

  "HUG ATTACK"

| (charge) O tap (BM) rapidly = Dot clones herself off into five Dots, which

O          |                    run up and commit acts of huggywuggycutey

                                snuggypoo on the opponent.  Continues

                                until opponent breaks free or Dot stops

                                tapping (BM).

FATALITY -

O-- / | \  --O (BH) = Dot pulls out a small white box, and says, "Wanna

   O  O  O            see my pet?".  A huge scaly monster (there are three

                      of these in the game, one is picked ar random) pops

                      out, snarls, and eats the opponent.  It zips back

                      into the box, and Dot hides the box behind her back,

                      looking cute.

VICTORY PHRASE - "Byeeee!  Thanks for playing with me!"

-=-

SLAPPY (Grumpicus Retiredicus Squirrelicus)

   This retired toon actor slouches over due to a bad back, clutching her

pink purse and green hat with wilting flower, her two most prized possessions.

Her Medicare is beginning to run out, and she needs the money to pay for

her cough treatments.

LOCATION - Ouside slappy's tree, a quaint suburban home

WEAPON - A purse with about four horseshoes and a horse in it.

SECRET MOVE -

  "GUILT TRIP"

tap (BL) repeatedly = Slappy begins to recant the days of her youth.  "Well,

                      when I was your age we didn't have this weird computer

                      cel coloring, we had this thick goopy paint guk, and

                      it smeared all over the cel, and we LIKED it."

FATALITY -

| \  --O (BM) = Slappy tosses a reeeeely tiny firecracker to her opponent,

O  O            who laughs at it.  Then there is a nuclear explosion which

                envelops the whole screen.  Slappy isn't hurt by this if she

                stands at the far side of the screen.

VICTORY PHRASE - "Now THAT'S comedy."

-=-

MINERVA MINK (Kinkius Minkius)

   This somewhat unscroupulous yet incredibly curvy mustelid is in basic

'Work Clothes', a red sweater and blue jeans.  She has entered the 

competition to raise enough money for the famed Incredibly Large Diamond,

now on sale at Wal Mart.

LOCATION - Outside her log home.  (Not made of logs, just A log.)

WEAPON - Sex Appeal (opponent cannot pick this up.)

SECRET MOVE -

  "BATBAT"

tap (BL) repeatedly = Minerva bats her eyes at her opponent.  Opponent will

                      go into shock, (Yakko and Wakko will yell "HELLLOOOO

                      NURSE!"), and be stunned for a second.

FATALITY -

  "KISS OF DEATH"

O-- O-- --O --O (BL) = Minerva grabs her opponent and lays a big wet one on

                       thier lips.  Opponent goes into spasms, does a few

                       zillion wild takes, and collapses with little minks

                       circling around thier head.  (Not a bad way to go.)

VICTORY PHRASE - "Good things are worth fighting for."

NOTE - Special move and fatality do NOT work against Dot or Slappy unless 

       the following code is entered into the game upon startup -

 --O      O-- --O    O-- --O   O-- --O     O--O

|--O|        |          |   --O   |        |--O

O   O (BL)   O   (BL)   O         O   (BL) |

-=-

PESTO (Peschicus Funnicus Pidgicus)

   This bird is a member of the famed Goodfeathers, roving gang of birds-

at-large, and tends to get into fights quite often over seemingly meaningless

phreases.  He's purple and grey, although as usual, colors vary depending

on if you're in a samechar vs. samechar fight or not.  Pesto just wants the

cash.

LOCATION - A manhattan city sidewalk.

WEAPON - None.

SECRET MOVE -

  "STAPLE TOON FIGHT CLOUD GAG"

tap (BL) repeatedly = Pesto will yell "THAT'S *IT!*" and launches himself

                      at opponent.  Upon connection, a large toon 'Fighting'

                      cloud puffs up, covering both Pesto and opponent, with

                      little stars and occasional limbs popping out.  Stops

                      when opponent breaks free or Pesto stops tapping.

                      (NOTE - If initial flight is blocked, Pesto bounces

                      off you harmlessly.)

FATALITY -

Hit (BL) (BM) (BH) at same time = Like the secret move, only on a much

                                  larger scale and bouncing off the sides

                                  of the screen many a time before stopping.

VICTORY PHRASE - "What, you think I'm funny or something?"

-=-

PINKY AND THE BRAIN (Mousicus Stupidicus and Mousicus Geniusicus)

  One's a genius, the other's insane, both are lab rats/mice.  This character

pair is very unusual, in that how they attack you is random... upon entering

a match, the machine picks one of five weapons for them to use.  Brain is

planning on using the money to finance another scheme to take over the

world.

1.  Very small mecha

2.  A large mechanical suit

3.  6 foot stilts

4.  A small radio controlled tank

5.  A growth potion that makes brain six feet high.

  This, your attacks will vary.  Be prepared!

LOCATION - Outside Acme Labs.

WEAPON - Varies

SECRET MOVE = None, as outfit can change.  Powerful attacks make up for it.

FATALITY -

--O | \  --O (BH) = Pinky lets out a "NARF!" that knocks opponent across

    O  O            the screen.

VICTORY PHRASE - "Of course, superior intellect triumphs over mindless brawn."

                 "Yeah, Brain!  And we kicked butt, too!"

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                              CODES/RUMORS

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   There are plenty of hidden features in the game, at least on the home

SNES version.  Here are some Game Genie codes you can use to access parts

of the game that aren't normally included, but left in by accident.

IO SD 34 ON - This code will let Minerva strip when you tap out "SPaTULA"

              in morse code on the X button.  (warning, if you slip up on

              the morse, you could end up playing with a nude Wakko.)

WE 3H 1F AA - This code will make the screen hold for about five seconds

              on Wakko's fatality, making the opponent squirt massive

              amounts of blood before he retracts the mallet.

45 ON PP SF - This will add another option to the options screen below

              'Sound Test' so that you can select one of Pinky and The 

              Brain's five plots to conquer the game.

   There is also rumored to be a hidden character, which you can fight by

winning every round flawless.  There are conflicting reports on this, most

likely by people trying to stir up the rumor mill.

francis@nurse.plots.edu (Francis Nurse) writes :

"I won without a single blow, all flawless, fatalitying everybody with

Wakko (the mallet ROCKS!) and who should drop down but BEAVIS from MTV's

'Beavis and Butt-head'!  He was a pretty weak opponent, mostly sitting

around chuckling, but he did set fire to my hat occasionally.  My little

sister burned my SNES down the next day, so I'm suing MTV and asking them

to remove all fire references from the show."

grant@jpark.com (Grant) writes :

"Well, I beat the game flawlessly using Slappy yesterday, and who should

climb onto the Watertower stage but... Speed Racer?  Well, I took him out

pretty easily.  Boy, that guy's a wimp without his snazzy poorly animated

car."

egon@firehouse.gb.com (Egon Spengler) writes :

"It was pretty strange, I have to admit... I won the game using Minerva,

and suddenly the screen starts shaking and JERRY LEWIS pops up, yelling

some weird war cry... sounded kinda like 'FREYDLEBIEN!'.  Anyway, he 

kicked my butt, doing some weird bow tie attack and stuff."

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                                SPOILERS!

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^L

These are incomplete, as the FAQ keeper hasn't won the game with too many

characters.  If you've seen Pinky and the Brain's ending, please mail it

to me!

DOT'S ENDING

   Apparently, Dot recieves the check for 1 zillion dollars, and Mel Gibson

shows up.  Dot jumps into his arms, and they walk off into the sunset with

Eric Clapton's 'It's probably me' playing in the background.

WAKKO'S ENDING

   Wakko is about to take the check, when something in his stomach trembles.

He looks confused for a moment, then startled.  He grabs his crotch, yells

"POTTY EMERGENCY!" and takes off at breakneck speed.

MINERVA'S ENDING

   Minerva is examining her new diamond in the light of the full moon when

Wilfred Wolf shows up.  The two leave hand in hand.

TOON KOMBAT 2!

   Yes, they ARE making a sequel to this game!  It's going to include

boss characters of Scratchnsniff, Hello Nurse, and a four player option

for those picking a comedy 'team' such as the Hippos, Rita/Runt, 

Pinky/Brain, Mindy/Buttons, or Slappy/Skippy.  With four joysticks,

maybe we'll be looking at a double-screen play cabinet?  Also, it should

feature Q-Sound, a remarkable new 3-D audio system.

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                                 END FAQ

       And... for those who didn't get it... it's a JOKE, FOLKS!

                        Mwah!  G'night everybody!

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Mail comments, ideas, flames, or joke suggestions for the TK2 FAQ to :

  jengagne@eng.umd.edu