computer follies

 From wyle@ethz.UUCP Mon Oct 17 06:21:33 1988

Flags: 000000000001

From: wyle@solaris.UUCP (Mitchell Wyle)

Subject: Re: computer follies

Summary: ad absurdum

Date: 17 Oct 88 11:21:33 GMT

Organization: SOT Sun Cluster, ETH Zuerich

In article <1417@zen.UUCP> frank@zen.co.uk (Frank Wales) writes:

>In article <4041@tekgvs.GVS.TEK.COM> toma@tekgvs.GVS.TEK.COM (Tom Almy) writes:

[...stuff deleted...]

Using the Boyer-Moore theorem prover on our network of 12 Crays, I was

seconds away from finishing a statistical text analysis algorithm which

derives the true conceptual meaning of all Indo-European languages and

dialects, effectively solving all performance problems in information

retrieval systems.  The forces invading from the Zuerich international

airport chose that moment to cut all power to the University, and

mortar shells were falling outside our building seconds later.

Luckily, our solar-powered, diesel-backed, quantum-predicting energized

deflecto-modulators kicked in femtoseconds BEFORE the power-failure

(elements of the system move faster than light), saving all 17

Terabytes of Cray Core and all 831 Terrabytes of index files my program

was using.  With projectiles exploding and whistling ever closer, I

decided on the final corrections through my brain-implant interface and

ran for the bomb shelters, knowing that the DWIN (Do-What-I-Need)

User-interface would finish cross-compiling my system for all processor

architectures from 4-bit Casio-watches and  HP hand-helds up through

Connection Machines CM-2s.

The autonomous tanks started using their armor-piercing rounds on the upper

floors of the computing center but...

-- 

-Mitchell F. Wyle            wyle@ethz.uucp

Institut fuer Informatik     wyle%ifi.ethz.ch@relay.cs.net

ETH Zentrum                  

8092 Zuerich, Switzerland    +41 1 256-5237

From wrs@pupthy.PRINCETON.EDU Wed Oct 19 19:49:31 1988

Flags: 000000000001

From: wrs@pupthy.PRINCETON.EDU (William R. Somsky)

Subject: Re: computer follies

Date: 20 Oct 88 00:49:31 GMT

Organization: Physics Dept, Princeton Univ

In article <482@solaris.UUCP> wyle@ethz.UUCP (Mitchell Wyle) writes:

> ... Luckily, our solar-powered, diesel-backed, quantum-predicting energized

> deflecto-modulators kicked in femtoseconds BEFORE the power-failure

> (elements of the system move faster than light), ...

  That reminds me of the Sidrat 4200 machine we used to have.

(Came in a big blue box, about 1 meter x 1 meter x 2.5 meters.)

It had a tachyonic line-voltage monitor that would generated a

"power-failure-immenent" interrupt two seconds before the actual

failure to allow time for the machine to bring itself down gently.

  One day, one of our system programmers got the idea to make the

power-interrupt interrupt-handler REALLY rock-solid.  He designed

everything into it he could think of to protect the system:  core

dump for later retrival, full disk backup onto holographic media,

etc., etc., etc.  He even included a final disconnect_power_mains

routine ("to protect the power supply from line transients").

  Since the machine had full tensor architecture, this could all

easily be done in the alloted two seconds warning time.  In fact,

it took just 0.978 seconds.  So, a full second before the power-

failure, the computer was backed-up, shut-down and POWERED-DOWN.

  Of course, the line-voltage monitor detected this power shutdown

two seconds before it happened and initiated a power-failure interrupt

THREE seconds before the real power failure.  But the power shutdown

>From that one was detected as well, and ...

  The net result was that the machine shut itself off a full hour

before it was even turned on!

------------------------------------------------------------------------

William R. Somsky                          Physics Dept ; Princeton Univ

wrs@pupthy.Princeton.EDU                 PO Box 708 ; Princeton NJ 08544