RED DWARF III: The introduction
bob@castle.ed.ac.uk (Bob Gray)
I have had a number of requests for this, so here is the
text of the high-speed message seen at the start of the
first episode of RED DWARF III.
Thanks to Mike Bayliss <mike@uk.co.siesoft> who sent me a
copy of the text which he had already typed in, and saved
me the trouble.
Think of this as a sort of anti-spoiler. The text really
should be read before seeing the first episode to know what
has happened and why everything has changed, but you can't
be meant to read it given the speed it scrolls up the screen.
OK, to set the scene, imagine a starfield.
Blue/white lettering scrolls into the bottom of the picture
and up and away from the screen, exactly as at the start of
"Star Wars".
RED DWARF III
THE SAGA
CONTNUUMS
THE STORY SO FAR...
Three million years in the
future, Dave Lister, the last
human being alive discovers
he is pregnant after a liason
with his female self in a parallel
universe. His pregnancy
[ Text speeds up ]
concludes with the successful
delivery of twin boys, Jim and
Bexley. However, because the
twins were conceived in another
universe, with different physical
laws, they suffer from highly
accelerated growth rates, and
are both eighteen years old
within three days of being
born. In order to save their
lives, Lister returns them to
the universe of their origin,
where they are reunited with
their father (a woman), and
are able to lead comparatively
normal lives. Well as normal
as you can be if you've been
born in a parallel universe and
your father's a woman and
your mother's a man and
you're eighteen years three
days after your birth. Shortly
afterwards, Kryten, the
service mechanoid who had left
the ship after being rescued
from his own crashed vessel,
the Nova 5, is found in pieces
after his space bike crash
lands onto an asteroid. Lister
rebuilds the 'noid, but is unable
to recapture his former
personality.
Meanwhile, Holly, the
increasingly erratic Red Dwarf
computer, performs a head
sex change operation on
himself. He bases his new face
on Hilly, a female computer
[ Text slows down again ]
with whom he'd once fallen
madly in love.
And now the saga continuums
AND NOW THE SAGA
CONTINUUMS...
RED DWARF III
THE SAME GENERATION
- NEARLY -
The new title sequence then begins.
Bob.
Radio Times listings for BBC2
14 November TUESDAY
NEW SERIES
9.00pm
Red Dwarf III . . .
. . . the Saga Continuums
by Rob Grant
and Doug Naylor.
The crew of the Red Dwarf
return for a brand new series.
Twelve months have passed.
Lister has given birth to twin
boys but was forced to return
them to their father. Kryten
returns after . . . oh, just
watch it.
1: Backwards
Lister and Rimmer finally
arrive back on Earth - only
to discover time is behaving
rather strangely.
Arnold Rimmer...CHRIS BARRIE
Dave Lister....CRAIG CHARLES
Holly........HATTIE HAYRIDGE
Cat.........DANNY JOHN-JULES
Kryten......ROBERT LLEWELLYN
Waitress......MARIA FRIEDMAN
Compere...........TONY HAWKS
Customer in cafe
.................ANNA PALMER
Pub manager.....ARTHUR SMITH
Production ED BYE,
ROB GRANT and DOUG NAYLOR
A Paul Jackson production for BBCtv
o FEATURE: page 16
o CEEFAX SUBTITLES
Radio Times 21 Nov 89 - Red Dwarf III
21 November TUESDAY
9.00pm
Red Dwarf III . . .
. . . the Saga Continuums
by Rob Grant
and Doug Naylor.
2: Marooned
As RED DWARF heads on a
collision course towards a
minefield of Black Holes, the
crew are forced to abandon
ship. Lister and Rimmer find
themselves marooned on an
artic moon, with only a pot
noodle and a tin of dogfood
between them. And there's
no way Lister is eating the
pot noodle.
Arnold Rimmer...CHRIS BARRIE
Dave Lister....CRAIG CHARLES
Holly........HATTIE HAYRIDGE
Cat.........DANNY JOHN-JULES
Kryten......ROBERT LLEWELLYN
Production ED BYE,
ROB GRANT and DOUG NAYLOR
A Paul Jackson production for BBCtv
o CEEFAX SUBTITLES
Radio Times 28 Nov 89 - Red Dwarf III
28 November TUESDAY
9.00pm
Red Dwarf III . . .
. . . the Saga Continuums
by Rob Grant
and Doug Naylor.
3: Polymorph
A genetic mutant which
salivates unspeakable
slobber, and has more teeth
than the entire Osmond
family, gets loose aboard
Red Dwarf, and the
nightmare begins. The crew
are subjected to 24 hours of
non-stop horror, in a
gruesome, petrifying comedy
blood-feast.
Arnold Rimmer...CHRIS BARRIE
Dave Lister....CRAIG CHARLES
Holly........HATTIE HAYRIDGE
Cat.........DANNY JOHN-JULES
Kryten......ROBERT LLEWELLYN
Genny.........FRANCES BARBER
Rimmer's mother
.............KALLI GREENWOOD
Young Rimmer
...............SIMON GAFFNEY
Production ED BYE,
ROB GRANT and DOUG NAYLOR
A Paul Jackson production for BBCtv
o CEEFAX SUBTITLES
Radio Times 5 Dec 89 - Red Dwarf III
5 December TUESDAY
9.00pm
Red Dwarf III . . .
. . . the Saga Continuums
by Rob Grant
and Doug Naylor.
4: Bodyswap
Rimmer proposes a novel way
for Lister to lose weight.
Arnold Rimmer...CHRIS BARRIE
Dave Lister....CRAIG CHARLES
Holly........HATTIE HAYRIDGE
Cat.........DANNY JOHN-JULES
Kryten......ROBERT LLEWELLYN
Carol Brown.....LIA WILLIAMS
Production ED BYE and DOUG NAYLOR
A Paul Jackson production for BBCtv
o CEEFAX SUBTITLES
Radio Times 12 Dec 89 - Red Dwarf III
12 December TUESDAY
9.00pm
Red Dwarf III . . .
. . . the Saga Continuums
by Rob Grant
and Doug Naylor.
5: Timeslides
Kryten discovers some
developing fluid which prints
photographs the crew can
walk into.
Arnold Rimmer...CHRIS BARRIE
Dave Lister....CRAIG CHARLES
Holly........HATTIE HAYRIDGE
Cat.........DANNY JOHN-JULES
Kryten......ROBERT LLEWELLYN
Gilbert.........ROBERT ADDIE
Bodyguards......RUPERT BATES
..........RICHARD HAINSWORTH
American presenter..RUBY WAX
Young Lister...EMILE CHARLES
Young Rimmer...SIMON GAFFNEY
Thicky Holden
...........STEPHEN MCKINTOSH
Skiwoman......LOUISA RUTHVEN
Lady Sabrina Holland-Jjones
...................KOO STARK
Skiman............MARK STEEL
Production ED BYE,
ROB GRANT and DOUG NAYLOR
A Paul Jackson production for BBCtv
o SHOW TIMES: page 21
o CEEFAX SUBTITLES
Radio Times 19 Dec 89 - Red Dwarf III
19 December TUESDAY
9:00pm
Red Dwarf III . . .
. . . the Saga Continuums
by Rob Grant
and Doug Naylor.
Final episode in the series
6: The Last Day
All mechanoids are supplied
with an in-built expiry date,
and Kryten discovers he has
less than 24 hours to live. The
rest of the crew are
determined to give him the
best night of his life.
Arnold Rimmer...CHRIS BARRIE
Dave Lister....CRAIG CHARLES
Holly........HATTIE HAYRIDGE
Cat.........DANNY JOHN-JULES
Kryten......ROBERT LLEWELLYN
Girl android.JULIE HIGGINSON
Hudzen........GORDON KENNEDY
Production ED BYE,
ROB GRANT and DOUG NAYLOR
A Paul Jackson production for BBCtv
o CEEFAX SUBTITLES
SHOW TIMES article from Dec 12
KOO - WHAT A TURN-UP!
Once pronounced by the press as a possible match for Prince Andrew, Koo
Stark has ended up in an entanglement with Charles-Craig Charles, that
is, in the form of last man on earth Lister in Red Dwarf III (Tuesday
BBC2). But why would the actress and photographer leave her normal
social circle to join the motley crew pictured above? 'It's just that
I'm a fan of the series.' says Stark. Appearing in the same episode is
the shy and retiring comedienne Ruby Wax, typecast as a typically
understated American TV presenter, fervently feeding the lifestyles of
the rich and famous to the masses. 'What I couldn't understand was
producer Ed Bye's insistence that I slept with him before he'd give me
the part,' says Wax, 'particularly since I'm married to him.' Not
content to ration the incidences of nepotism to one per episode, the
show has also recruited Charles(Emile), younger brother of
Charles(Craig) to play a teenage Lister in a plot that goes back to the
future-or is it one that goes forward to the past?
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