Subject: NovelAdvice - writing exercises
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This May 20 NovelAdvice meeting features a series of exercises designed to help the writer generate ideas for character development.
Check out the latest NovelAdvice Cyberjournal at www.noveladvice.com.
A FREE web site and created just for you, the writer.
Subject: NovelAdvice - writing exercises
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NovelAdvice co-host and editor of the NovelAdvice newsletter, Jeanne Marie Childe, leads a group of writers in exercises on finding out all you can about the people who will sell your book: the characters.
"Characterization: Lettuce Count the Ways"
A fast paced and quite often hilarious look at YOUR characters, if you follow the examples given in this download.
www.noveladvice.com
NovelAdvice June 4, 1997: Guest: JeanneWrtr Characterization: Lettuce Count The Ways
Trina Pink : Welcome to NovelAdvice!
Trina Pink : You probably remember Jeanne's great sessions on
characterization...
Trina Pink : (and, in fact, characterization is a big part of
Jeanne's new online
Trina Pink : writing class called Making Your Words Work)
Trina Pink : Tonight, Jeanne will be leading a discussion on
"Characterization: Lettuce Count the Ways."
Trina Pink : And let's explore...characterization! Jeanne?
JeanneWrtr : Okay, hi folks! Haven't see most of you at a
class for a while. But I hate to
JeanneWrtr : disappoint you. I'm not going to teach you
tonight, not the way I used to , anyway. I'm
JeanneWrtr : going to lead you into teaching each other.
JeanneWrtr : First off, will everyone please sign in with
the name of a character in your novel?
Jackatbrun : Jake McLeod
CathyAnneC : Laura
HOPEMAR : Morgan
SunnyeT : Lucy Rutherfurd
DesdemonaF : Ramona Bell
Inmycups : Hic! Tom.
Trina Pink : Robin
LUKE22V36 : Dam Thomas
Chance800 : Arianna
Katkeys : Trinka
Aelis10 : Owen
Jobeau5 : Flossie King
Ross5424 : Arthur
JYaron : Allesandra
StormDncr1 : Elena
Anccarl : Lissa
MSSS99 : Dana Grant
JoeC323 : trenton
Monimbo12 : Bailey
Hunkydoree : Cynthia
Jackatbrun : Brian Drummond
JetCo760 : jim thomas
WrtStufRI : Andrew
MASTER JAW : Vernon Reese
JetCo760 : screenwriter
Seedplants : Samantha
Melduvall : Cassie Blake
JeanneWrtr : Great names. Such variety.
Bstseller1 : Samantha Marie Reynolds.
Jackatbrun : Jana Brenner
ALIZBACH : Julie Chisum
JeanneWrtr : Can anyone explain how the name of his/her
character fits his/her personality?
JeanneWrtr : Like, What kind of person is a Flossie?
SunnyeT : An old, family name, solid and respectable, like Lucy
Melduvall : Cassandra dreams, no one believes them
Ruth Sil : Torger
LUKE22V36 : Character wild in youth, called "That Damn Thomas
Kid" name stuck.
Jackatbrun : Jake McLeod is a dreamer, idealist.
JeanneWrtr : Luke!!!!!
CathyAnneC : Solid European name popular in era WWII
DesdemonaF : I stole the name Ramona from the book "The Friends"
because of the strength of the mother.
Katkeys : Sentimental value but of great human worth
Madel16295 : Jelly's name came about because of her legs. They
roll a bit.
JetCo760 : oh heck I thought you wanted my real name and
occupation....lol everybody forget it imediatl
JeanneWrtr : No that's okay. It just evolved this way.
JeanneWrtr : Jet, please tell me your real name and
occupation.
JetCo760 : Jim Thomas...screenwriter
JetCo760 : and now I will have to kill you
JeanneWrtr : Thank you, Jet.
Aelis10 : Strong, reliable, solid Welshman
Trina Pink : ga Katkey (tell us the name again also, please)
JeanneWrtr : Okay, folks, lettuce get to work. Please tell
me a way to characterize besides naming
JeanneWrtr : the character.
SunnyeT : By the way other characters
SunnyeT : react to character
JeanneWrtr : Great!
Jackatbrun : A good character must be describedon several levels,
only one of which is physical.
Jackatbrun : end.
Aelis10 : physical features, reactions to a situation and other
characters
Marlinder : Mannerisms, of course. Speech patterns. Placement in
context of story. Behavior &reactions.
JetCo760 : by the mess his apartment is in.
JeanneWrtr : Marti, you took them all!!! Not fair.
StormDncr1 : nervous mannerisms, reactions to others and the
situations
StormDncr1 : in story
JeanneWrtr : Keep going, there are many more.
Marlinder : Voice quality. (loud or soft)
Madel16295 : How character looks. How he/she acts. How he/she
smells. What he/she wears.
Marlinder : Tread of footsteps
JetCo760 : his attitudes
JeanneWrtr : in other words, the five senses.
Marlinder : Anxieties and eagerness, etc.
LUKE22V36 : Type of job, reaction to job
JeanneWrtr : What about setting?
Marlinder : costume
Marlinder : Choices at crucial moments.
Marlinder : did setting
Melduvall : how character reacts to and perceives setting- vocab/
Marlinder : Time and era
Madel16295 : Yes, where person lives, works, etc.
JeanneWrtr : These are great. Let's go back and take your
characters.
JeanneWrtr : Write a sentence that tells us something about
your character by a mannerism he/she has
JeanneWrtr : Send it as soon as you have written it.
Ross5424 : Arthur is a lover. He works at it and is usually
successful./
Trina Pink : Robin lifted his pencil from the paper and began to
conduct Beethoven's Fifth in the silent air.
JeanneWrtr : Nope, not for this. Just send your sentence.
LUKE22V36 : Dam Thomas's lips grow thin when he is angry.
JeanneWrtr : Great, Trina, Ross, Luke. Keep going. Where
are the rest of you?
DesdemonaF : Ramona plays with her hair when she's nervous.
Chance800 : Arianna touched the base of her throat in that now
self-conscious manner.
SunnyeT : Lucy hesitated at the doorway of the room, watching,
waiting for just the right moment
Marlinder : Scarlett twirled her parasol impatiently and stamped
her dainty foot, saying, "Come here!.
Melduvall : Cassie is always pushing her hair off her face
JetCo760 : Jack wished he could leave his friend in the car when
they arrived at Luby's.
SunnyeT : to make her entrance'
CathyAnneC : Laura always looked down when she talked to Peder.
JeanneWrtr : These are great!
ALIZBACH : Julie's eyes flash when she's angry.
HOPEMAR : Morgan stalked off into the woods grumbling under his
breath.
Ruth Sil : Torger is a knowledgeable seaman. At the wheel of his
yacht he plys the seas.
JeanneWrtr : Hey, Ruth, okay!!!
Shuzzy : His twitching lip drove me crazy!
DesdemonaF : Ramona covers her face when men around her show
anger.
JetCo760 : The beans that Jacks friend had the night before was
just now taking effect
Monimbo12 : bailey goes from articulate to tongue-tied, from
competent to giddy, drops things, when nerv
Trina Pink : (Hey Shuzzy, that characterizes "you" too!)
Monimbo12 : ous
Bstseller1 : When her authority is challenged, Samantha folds her
arms across her chest and stomps.
Madel16295 : Her lips half-open, her eyes half-closed, she glanced
over at Danny.
JeanneWrtr : MOVING ON!!!!Okay, stay with your character
Shuzzy : His twitching lip drove the flies crazy!
JeanneWrtr : Stay with your character and tell me something
about him/her by making a comparison.
LUKE22V36 : Dam Thomas had forearms like Popeye.
HOPEMAR : Morgan's blacberry eyes flashed like summer heat
lightning.
JeanneWrtr : But it's good. Comeon, lettuce have more.
Marlinder : Brett looked on stoicly as Scarlett tried to buy the
entire store. Her eyes flashed withjoy
SunnyeT : Franklin watched Lucy as she sat quietly; so calm,
not at all like Eleanor, who stayed
SunnyeT : constant motion
DesdemonaF : Ramona, a modern woman, was leaner and more muscular
than Cherrie.
Ross5424 : Arthur is as self-confident as a TV Evangelist
JeanneWrtr : Sunnye, you've got it!
Ruth Sil : Torger, is stoic, a deep thinker, takes his time
about answering a question gives a long det
Shuzzy : His intense eyes radiated nervous energy like a high
tension line in a high wind.
JeanneWrtr : Great, Ross.
Ruth Sil : ailed answer/
DesdemonaF : <LOL Ross>
JeanneWrtr : Shuzzy, Ruth, Des, Ross
JeanneWrtr : Great...
JeanneWrtr : More?
MASTER JAW : Vernon teased the students with their
RW MlME : George's cigar smoke was thick and green and filled
with hints of revenge...
MASTER JAW : physics grades
Bstseller1 : Like icy fire, her cheeks flamed at his insult.
JetCo760 : He wondered why he bought the Honda...He was too big
for such a little car.
Trina Pink : Robin wrote fiction like he was pulling up
100-year-old oak stumps.
MASTER JAW : like ...
Ljl1995 : Claudia was finding it hard to concentrate while her
daughter's music blasted through t wall
Shuzzy : The muscles in his arm, flexing cords, rippled as he
clutched the knife.
JeanneWrtr : If you're going to have a comparison you must
compare to something or someone.
JeanneWrtr : This is hard work!
JeanneWrtr : Serious, important work!
Marlinder : <fun>
MASTER JAW : a famished stray dog.
JeanneWrtr : Okay, try this>>>>>
HOPEMAR : <icy fire....wow!>
JeanneWrtr : (Your character's name here) walked as if
he/she was ??????
DesdemonaF : Ramona's skin stretched across her muscles like
strings over a violin. <pretty cliche, huh?>
JeanneWrtr : You can use another verb instead of was.
SunnyeT : Lucy walked as if she was underwater, her movements
strained...
Marlinder : Scarlett dragged herself up one row and down another
as if her body were too heavy to carry
JetCo760 : lol JEAN
Aelis10 : Owen was as unlike the Creature in the woods as day
to night.
DesdemonaF : Ramona walked as though she was always ready to run.
Trina Pink : Robin walked as if he trod the boards at the Met.
JeanneWrtr : Okay, Sunnye!!!
Shuzzy : Raz walked as if on coals, careful, deliberate and
quiet.
Jobeau5 : Flossie King's bony hand stung as it made contact
with the firm cheek of her son-in-law.
Bstseller1 : Samantha walked as if she were hesitantly navigating
a fiery pit, with no native guides.
Marlinder : BSt!!!!
Ruth Sil : Torger was like a tiger, ready to strike at the first
chance.
HOPEMAR : Morgan trudged along as though he were sharing
Atlas's load.
Ljl1995 : Claudia always walked with determination as if she
were on a secret mission.
JeanneWrtr : Very inventive. Getting to know your
characters better?
JetCo760 : this is so much fun
JetCo760 : and funny
ALIZBACH : LOL Bst!!
JeanneWrtr : More walking please....
Marlinder : <using new character now>
MASTER JAW : Vernon walked as if he was hit by a car.
JeanneWrtr : That's hard to do.
Baldjeff : petronious walked as if he hoped never to arive
Ljl1995 : <ouch>
JeanneWrtr : Funny, Bald.
Ross5424 : Arthur swaggered like a dog in heat
Marlinder : Mary carried the tray to the table as if it held the
crown jewels.
Aelis10 : He glided with an easy grace, sinuous in his evil
JeanneWrtr : You're getting better....
Shuzzy : He hesitated, his feet glued to the ground as his
victim slowly turned 'round.
DesdemonaF : <different character> Charlie walked as if he needed
an outhouse in a storm.
JetCo760 : His flat feet made him wobble when he walked .He
looked like Chaplin.
JeanneWrtr : LOL, DES.
JeanneWrtr : and Jet!!LOL
Marlinder : Mary lofted the heavy wet laundry into the cart as if
it were a feather.
RW MlME : Jay walked as if each step might reveal a mine...
Trina Pink : Lena walked to the principal's office like a
6-year-old returning a stolen piece of candy to the
store
Seedplants : Samantha walked with the confidence of a woman born
to be looked at.
Jobeau5 : Flossie strode across the room in a way that belied
her 90 years.
JeanneWrtr : These are wonderful. May I steal them?
Ruth Sil : Torger could read the water like an artist.
SunnyeT : Lucy walked as though these moments were her last,
dragging herself to her
SunnyeT : destiny
Trina Pink : LOL, Jeanne! No way! These are really our
characters, and we might use them!! ;-)
Monimbo12 : bailey stomped into the ofc and plopped across the
overstuffed armchair.
Alamo26112 : Jay felt as if he were walking through water
JetCo760 : He was so big he had to roll out of the Honda. His
knee joints cracked loudly
JeanneWrtr : Shall we move on to another one?
JeanneWrtr : Are you there?
Shuzzy : Suddenly, discovered, his feet blurred as he lunged
forward.
Marlinder : But of course. Flattered, Jeanne. <g>
MSSS99 : move on
RW MlME : walk on
Icecu : Cassie's steps were quick and lite...like she was
barefoot on a hot sidewalk.
JeanneWrtr : (Your character's name here) was the kind of
person who....
Shuzzy : Raz was the kind of person who enjoyed tearing the
wings off flies.
HOPEMAR : Morgan was the kind of person who never forgot a
favor. . . given or received.
JeanneWrtr : Shuzzy, chilling!
ALIZBACH : LOL Shuzzy
SunnyeT : "Lucy was the kind of person who took a cake to a
friend and stayed to eat it
Jobeau5 : Flossie was the kind of person that never looked back
with regret, she moved forward.
Marlinder : If the day were long and tough, it was Mary who could
be counted upon to get the work done.
Bstseller1 : Samantha was the kind of person who break a horse in
the afternoon and crochet doilies
Bstseller1 : that evening.
Ruth Sil : Torger was the kind of person who could charm any
woman.
Shuzzy : He could never understand why the flies liked him so
much, they infuriated him.
Ross5424 : Arthur was the kind of person who treated friendship
with caring disdain
Melduvall : Cassie was the kind of person who matched the
wallpaper, quiet but there
Aelis10 : Owen was the kind of person who smiled at
grandmothers sitting at their windows, and played
Anccarl : Shr was the kind of person who expected to be obeyed.
Aelis10 : with the children
Trina Pink : Robin was the kind of person who did one thing at a
time. He never had coffee at his computer.
Trina Pink : He never read during dinner. He never clipped his
toenails while he watched TV.
Ljl1995 : Claudia was the kind of person who remembered
everyone's b-day, but lost her keys every day
JeanneWrtr : Every sentence should begin with ? was the
kind of person who...
DesdemonaF : Ramona was the kind of person who moved through
shadows as though they were the norm of life
Alamo26112 : Hannah would give you the shirt off of her back, but
chances are she stole it
Monimbo12 : bailey...who would cover a war from the front if it
meant impressing her father
Mrod622 : Meg was so soft hearted she cried at Hallmark
commercials!
TILLYMCT : She was the kind of girl who never passed up gossip
or passed it on.
Ross5424 : <great Desdemona>
Trina Pink : Question, Luke?
LUKE22V36 : Can't this be considered telling them instead of
showing them?
DesdemonaF : Ramona was the kind of person who stepped through
each day with one foot in the past.
MASTER JAW : Vernon was the kind of person who babbled under his
breath when students showed him up.
Baldjeff : patrick was the kind of person who befrended all and
made friends with no one
JeanneWrtr : Either way, Luke. If you drop an occasional
"telling" sentence as interesting as some
JeanneWrtr : of these are, it can really add to the story.
ELEANDER : Would never , ever use "so ans o was the kind of
person who . . ."
JetCo760 : His wife wished he would give up the garlic bulb when
he juiced his carrots
JeanneWrtr : It beats saying, Mary was stingy.
ELEANDER : Awkward
ELEANDER : Awful writing
ALIZBACH : LOL Jet.
Marlinder : Mary was obdurate and her mouth firm, when she said,
"I quit. I ain't no dray horse."
SunnyeT : But if a character says someone is like something or
the kind of person who, it's show
SunnyeT : ing, isn't it?
JeanneWrtr : That's a matter of taste, Eleander. I see many
writers use it v effectively.
ELEANDER : It breaks the flow
JeanneWrtr : We can't do everything in dialogue.
Shuzzy : Raz was the kind of person who couldn't stand his
miserable life but lacked the guts to end
Shuzzy : it all
JeanneWrtr : Or scenes.
DesdemonaF : <Actually, you could put a sentence like that in
dialogue!>
JeanneWrtr : Any comments on this from others?
Ross5424 : <perhaps we're just building character, not creating
dialogue>
DesdemonaF : <Good point, Ross!>
Aelis10 : <Shuzzy--your characters need a physic>
JeanneWrtr : Or we could be doing both, couldn't we?
Shuzzy : <urp!>
Trina Pink : I would point out that it probably doesn't hurt
(especially when you're beginning writing) to
avoid...
Trina Pink : things that feel "telling" to you.
Ljl1995 : <what we're doing her is getting to know our
character better>
Trina Pink : You can always overwrite and then cut.
JetCo760 : They both slept better in separate bedrooms. Between
the garlic and the snoring it was mirac
JetCo760 : they stayed together
Ljl1995 : <her=here>
JeanneWrtr : Yes, Trina. I agreee.
JeanneWrtr : Jet, that's great/
JeanneWrtr : Ready for another one?
Bstseller1 : <Jet, you're bad and that is good!!! LOL>
Shuzzy : Telling isn't always bad.
JeanneWrtr : Right!
ALIZBACH : ROFLMAO
Shuzzy : It's a part of speech and all is fair. It's just how
you use it.
Trina Pink : But recognizing "telling" isn't ever bad!
JeanneWrtr : A story would get pretty boring if you showed
everything in scenes.
JeanneWrtr : OKAY< MOVING ON!!!!
JeanneWrtr : Your character goes into a house where he's
never been before. Tell something about
JeanneWrtr : your character by something he/she says. Don't
bother with quotation marks.
Trina Pink : Robin walked straight to the bookshelf, looking for
old friends.
JeanneWrtr : says, or does.
RW MlME : Hey, how much do you charge per pound? Do you take
bio-hazard materials?
JetCo760 : The house was so old it had to be haunted. It was a
creepy feeling, almost as if the house
LUKE22V36 : It's your move, fatso.
HOPEMAR : Wow! I've never seen such magnificent hand hewn
beams.
Bstseller1 : Nice place, if you happen to like nouveau riche,
which I do.
DesdemonaF : Charlie's been here. The curtains are yellow. And
the sofa. We'd better find a hole out
JeanneWrtr : Nice, Trina.Good HOPE.
DesdemonaF : of here.
JetCo760 : breathed on its own but that was impossible. The
house just stank
Seedplants : Samantha ran her hands across the Louis XIV chairs,
then picked up a Waterford glass.
Marlinder : Where'd you get all that silver and crystal?she
sniffed, supisciously, as if I'd borrowed it
Monimbo12 : who's in here who i need to talk to?
JeanneWrtr : Great, Marti.
Shuzzy : "Christ!" Raz yelled as he crashed int the abandoned
house. "Why do you treat me like this?"
Inmycups : Nobody, Mon.
DesdemonaF : We need to find another room, fast. Where's
Squid-Breath?
Shuzzy : into
Baldjeff : This is it! I thought I won the trip to Disneyland?
MRSFRENCHY : Carla choked from the dead air lingering in the old
house.
JeanneWrtr : Interesting character, Monimbo. Doesn't care
about the surroundings.
Marlinder : <really happened, ROFL>
Ross5424 : This is quite a dump. I hope you're insured!
JeanneWrtr : Bald!!!!
JeanneWrtr : LOL Ross.
RW MlME : Damian! Damian! Come here evil little boy!
JetCo760 : lol ROSS
SunnyeT : His portrait? Lucy ran her hand along the carved
mantel, then touched the wall. It .
SunnyeT : belongs here.
Shuzzy : I know you're here somewhere.
Aelis10 : She floated into the hallway, humming to herself
JetCo760 : these one line sound bites make it hard to be
creative
JeanneWrtr : Dreamy character, Aelis.
Inmycups : Irelevant, irelevant, irrelevant! Character must
carry the scene. Must have power! Of goal
Shuzzy : Under the bed, hmmm?
Marlinder : Jenny silently pried throught the medicine cabinet,
curious about her hosts.
Aelis10 : :0)
Shuzzy : Behind the... DOOR!!
Shuzzy : Ha ha, I got you now, you're in the basement.
Catalyst8 : Clarice stroked the fine antique loveseat, then
gleefully yanked on a loose thread.
Trina Pink : (LOL, Catalyst)
JeanneWrtr : <Shuzzy, you're getting carried away.>
JeanneWrtr : LOL, Catalyst
MASTER JAW : Vernon glides his index finger across the banister
and checks for dust.
Anccarl : In the unaccustomed opulence, she lifted her chin and
straightened her shoulders.
JeanneWrtr : MOVING ON>
JetCo760 : the antigue ;loveseat got smaller and smaller the
more she pulled on the thread
JeanneWrtr : One last sentence!
Marlinder : FUN!
Marlinder : MORE!
Catalyst8 : And she knitted a new loveseat! Was it still an
antique?
JeanneWrtr : Show something about your character by the way
another person reacts to him/her.
Shuzzy : He backed away from the wretched creature approaching
him.
Bstseller1 : Lennie longed to brush back the lock of hair that
always fell in her eyes, though he
Marlinder : David could not keep his eyes off his best friends
new bride, though he tried to hide it.
Bstseller1 : willed his hands to remain in his pockets.
MRSFRENCHY : What gives you the right to go through my desk
drawers?
JeanneWrtr : MRSFrenchy, excellent.
JetCo760 : Bud when was the last time you said I love you. You
never say I love you anymore.
SunnyeT : Eleanor
Monimbo12 : the singer left the room. bailey followed. "please
answer my question!"
Shuzzy : Something about him seemed evil, his raging eyes--
the smell.
Melduvall : Sharon glared at Cassie Blake. How could Ian have any
interest in such a dowdy creature?
Aelis10 : I felt my very breath die in my throat, as his
luminescent, aquamarine eyes fell upon me.
JeanneWrtr : Great, Melduvall!
HOPEMAR : The child stopped whimpering as he cradled it in his
brawny arms and prayed.
DesdemonaF : "Where you go, Girl? What you do out there?" Moses
Joseph loomed over Ramona, his belt in
JeanneWrtr : Aelis, are you a romance writer?
DesdemonaF : his fist.
MASTER JAW : Amazed at Vernon's protruding brow, Elena visualized
ancient man.
JeanneWrtr : Des, I'm scared!
Shuzzy : LOL
Ross5424 : No kidding,
DesdemonaF : <So is Ramona!>
Marlinder : Lucy recoiled when David deliberately blew smoke in
her face.
JeanneWrtr : Master Jaw, very inventive.
JeanneWrtr : Marti, great picture!
Ruth Sil : Drowning in each others eyes, he led her to the
bedroom.
Ross5424 : No kidding, Arthur. You're the youngest dirtiest old
man I've ever met!
Aelis10 : Gothic/historical/some romance
SunnyeT : Eleanor looked Lucy up and down, then turned away
without speaking.
JeanneWrtr : Ross, that's excellent.
Alamo26112 : He never took his eyes away from her
Marlinder : Thanks! [blush]
Ljl1995 : She turned the music up in defiance of her mother
DLundin648 : She told me I looked great in my black Donna Karan
dress, but that it would look better pile
JetCo760 : looking at his bloodshot eyes in the mirror, he
groaned. Never again he thought never again
DLundin648 : d in a heap by her bed. I dropped my champagne glass.
Alamo26112 : as he asked her for a cigarette
Inmycups : Irrelevant.
Marlinder : David hated treating Jenny badly and wanted to wrap
his arms around her when she backed away
Shuzzy : He saw the knife clutched in the maniac's hand,
drawing his pistol he said, "Hold it right
JeanneWrtr : The other person is in the mirror. DLundin,
that's great, fantastic!
Shuzzy : there."
Wind LEO : She squatted down on the filthy floor and gently
stroked the glistening, shivering creature.
JeanneWrtr : OKAY, Time to wind down. Please don't go away
yet!
Shuzzy : Stop! I swear I'll shoot your ragged ass.
JetCo760 : lol
Anccarl : HE grinned and lifted his fingers to his forehead in
a silent salute.
Catalyst8 : Joe wasn't fooled by her practiced smile; he saw the
threat lurking in her eyes.
Alamo26112 : He cringed when she pulled out her photos from her
wallet
Shuzzy : BANG!!!!
Baldjeff : no no no I said turn left onto 95 not leftovers
between 9 & 5
JeanneWrtr : NovelAdviceNewsletter is now on my website:
http://www.noveladvice.com
JeanneWrtr : Next week I begin to teach a class Making Your
Words Work which will be similar to what
JeanneWrtr : we did here tonight. If you're interested, go
to keyword: classes and look under Creati
JeanneWrtr : ive Writing. It's only $25.
JeanneWrtr : Okay, enough already. You guys got carried
away!
Trina Pink : Thanks for coming, everbody. Great session, Jeanne!
I've missed your characterization exercises.
JeanneWrtr : Next week's guest is a Creative Writing
teacher from AOL: Professor Brown,.
JeanneWrtr : The following week we have Tracey (THopeB) and
Barbara(TwisterB) and
JeanneWrtr : the last week of June we have Barbara Paul, a
multi-published mystery writer.
NovelAdvice June 4, 1997
www.noveladvice.com
NovelAdvice May 20, 1998 Guest: Jeanne Marie Childe
JeanneWrtr: Welcome to NovelAdvice. Our class tonight is a series of exercises
JeanneWrtr: in developing characters. QUIET IN THE ROOM PLEASE!)
JeanneWrtr: Before we develop our character, who is in a mystery, let's learn a little
JeanneWrtr: about his childhood, especially his father.
JeanneWrtr: We all fancy ourselves to be people watchers,
JeanneWrtr: but we are quick to come to a conculsion based on behavior and appearance.
JeanneWrtr: We overlook the movement of hands, the way a woman holds a cigarette,
JeanneWrtr: the way a man scratches his head.
JeanneWrtr: Please list other actions that show something about a character. Don't wait
JeanneWrtr: for permission. Just write when you're ready.
DRopeFirst: eye movement
Cheeky222: nodding head
Cheeky222: hand gestures
LeonFlet: playing with wedding ring.
LeonFlet: checking watch.
Marlinder: When he was stalling for time, he played with his pipe.
TAYLIND: slight twitch of the cheek
DRopeFirst: scratching
EileenLA: Body positioning
LeonFlet: picking at teeth.
DRopeFirst: hands in pockets
LeonFlet: frequent hair brushing.
EileenLA: shoulders slumped
DRopeFirst: moving glasses
LeonFlet: shoulders straight.
TriJ: flipping hair (long)
TAYLIND: picking lint on his clothes
LeonFlet: wiping glasses.
MRSFRENCHY: Twitch of the lip
Poetak: constantly clearing throat
DRopeFirst: crossing legs
PEGINSC: Closing and opening hands
XGreyFox: A gentle smile at the sign of nerviousness in others.
TAYLIND: clearing throat
TriJ: biting fingernails
LeonFlet: polishing shoes on back of pants leg.
MRSFRENCHY: Biting nails
TAYLIND: licking lps
Shuzzy: busy hands
TriJ: checking watch often
XGreyFox: A itch that was never ending.
LeonFlet: noting characteristics of others present.
JeanneWrtr: Quick quick, write these all down for your next chaper!
PEGINSC: rocking back and forth
CGliddenT: frequently looking in the fridge
Cheeky222: licking lips
MRSFRENCHY: Adjusting glasses
DRopeFirst: swallowing
DRopeFirst: picking lint
XGreyFox: Belching.
JeanneWrtr: STOP!!!!
LeonFlet: not swallowing.
EileenLA: humming
LiCBeme41: hand covering mouth
Shuzzy: rampant perspiration
LeonFlet: apologizing for belching.
LiCBeme41: oops
PEGINSC: Crossing knees
Poetak: (Can't take Leon anywhere)
JeanneWrtr: Okay, our future detective is a little boy who watches his father very
JeanneWrtr: closely. His father can be good or indifferent or abusive, whichever
JeanneWrtr: you choose. But the boy, now 6 years old, is watching his dad at the
JeanneWrtr: the
JeanneWrtr: dinner table. Charaterize Dad by some kind of action. No cliches.
Cheeky222: tapping fork on plate
XGreyFox: Ignoring all, while he eats.
PEGINSC: talking with his mouth full
CGliddenT: holding the bridge of his nose
LeonFlet: kid grabs extra piece of meat, dad hits him.
EileenLA: eats in the army square fashion
DRopeFirst: chews food slowing - gazes above boy's head
Cheeky222: glancing at the clock
TAYLIND: scraping, scraping, scraping long after food is gone
Cheeky222: sidelong glances at wife
EileenLA: eats food one pile at a time
Shuzzy: His father always cut his food with the knife then picked up his fork in his right hand to
Shuzzy: eat
DRopeFirst: er, slowly
LeonFlet: keeps asking, "Still, what did u LEARN in school today?"
MRSFRENCHY: Clinging spoon in coffee cup
Poetak: continental manners
TriJ: leans into plate and shovels food in
EB909: slow steady strokes as he keeps his eye on the boy
JeanneWrtr: STOP!!!!
Marlinder: Rob's Father was unaware that his son was copying his slurping of the soup. He belched aloud
TAYLIND: examines every kernal of corn
NovelEagle: scowling at wife when kid drops fork
MRSFRENCHY: Takes lead in conversation--won't let anyone else talk
Soccerbk7: Jeanne r u a real writer
LeonFlet: telling mom: "Let me talk wid the kid!"
JeanneWrtr: Wonderful examples. Each of you keep your particular characterization in mind
JeanneWrtr: and continue it as the boys gets older.
JeanneWrtr: Now Rob is 12 years old and he's watching his father work on the car in the
JeanneWrtr: the
JeanneWrtr: driveway.
JeanneWrtr: Characterize the father by something he says to Rob. No cliches, nothing
Cheeky222: digging his toe into the dirt
DRopeFirst: keeps head under hood - answers in "grunts"
XGreyFox: Pop says "Pass me the screwdriver, nono, i want the phillips.
JeanneWrtr: obvious. Think. Make this unique.
MRSFRENCHY: This wrench, Pop?
LeonFlet: pop says , "Kid you can't help. I gotta show you!"
Shuzzy: His father puts his tools back exactly where they came from.
TAYLIND: You know how to make this klunker run, boy?
NovelEagle: "Get outa my way!"
XGreyFox: Pop says, "Get lost kid, your in the way.
DRopeFirst: "This is too complicated to explain to you."
Marlinder: Al's voice sounded hollow, coming from under the car. "Move it, Rob! You're in my light!"
MRSFRENCHY: You ever goon learn which wrench is which, ROb?
EileenLA: "Here, put your fingers here. Right over the steam."
DRopeFirst: lol
XGreyFox: "You want to learn to drive a car?"
JeanneWrtr: Oouch
TAYLIND: ow!
PEGINSC: His father says to the boy, Don't you have homework tonight
MRSFRENCHY: Ouch, Eileen
TriJ: Haven't you watched me enough so you know how to do this by now?
JeanneWrtr: STOP!!!!
LeonFlet: "Kid, what's the phone number for AAA?"
SemiYung: Okay, now turn the key when I tell you to. No No, only when I tell you.
Marlinder: "Hey, Rob. Tell your Mom to bring me a beer. Make it snappy, Kid."
SemiYung: Keep your hands off that horn!!!
XGreyFox: Wait, where ya going?
JeanneWrtr: STOP!!! Don't write until I say GO! Rob is 15 and he's nuts over some girl in his class.
JeanneWrtr: The girl calls him one night while the family is watching NYPD. How does the
JeanneWrtr: the
JeanneWrtr: father react> Show his feelings about Rob by his actions.
JeanneWrtr: Go!!!!
LeonFlet: "Kid, we gotta have a talk! U sure your mudder can't hear us?
XGreyFox: "Son, get that phone, its driving me nuts.
EileenLA: Dad grabs the phone from the kid and smacks his head.
RaccoonAce: quiet Rob I'm trying to watch the tv show
Marlinder: Geeze, Rob. Can it will you? I can't hear the TV.
Cheeky222: Winks at his son as he walks shyly to the phone
TriJ: YOu know we don't take calls when we're watching NYPF
MRSFRENCHY: The father slams the phone down and says, "No girls til you're out of schoo," Rob.
TriJ: NYPD
NovelEagle: "GEt off the f---in' phone1 Can't ya see I'm watchin' TV?
TAYLIND: (Wink, wink) You treat her like a lady, hear?
Shuzzy: His father rattled the newspaper. "Can't you take that conversation elsewhere?" he said.
TriJ: Get that girl off the phone
XGreyFox: Pipe down, Simon has a bed sence coming up.
LiCBeme41: "Shhhh...I said, Shhhh"
DRopeFirst: Rob's father briefly explains that Rob can't have calls after 9PM - says he will take a mess
PEGINSC: You don't have to talk that low, son
LeonFlet: "Kid, tell me---she got an older sister?"
DRopeFirst: message - doesn't
JeanneWrtr: LOL
DRopeFirst: rofl
XGreyFox: Didn't you hear me the first time? Get me a date.
Marlinder: Hmpf. In my day, NICE girls never called guys. She must be a whoor.
JeanneWrtr: STOP!!!!
JeanneWrtr: I know this is quick and dirty, but we only have an hour and it goes fast!
JeanneWrtr: Rob is 17 years old now. He doesn't want to go to college because he's crazy
JeanneWrtr: about working on cars, and wants to be a mechanic.
JeanneWrtr: Show how Rob's father, who never went to college, reacts.
LeonFlet: "Kid, girls are easier in college! go!!!!"
PEGINSC: You gotta go to college to get a good job
EileenLA: "You don't want to go to college, fine. You'll join the Marines."
MRSFRENCHY: That's just great! Your ma and me have tried to give you what we didn't have and you want
XGreyFox: "Get out of my hair, go to school. You don't want to be doing tidey bowl commericals.
MRSFRENCHY: to throw it away
JeanneWrtr: Good, Eillen.
CDBrewster: "Don't be a little heathen! You WILL go to school! It's MY house, and as long as you are
RaccoonAce: if you want to work on cars I support your choice
DRopeFirst: sheesh, this blows my whole characterization <g>
NovelEagle: "Good Idea, Son. Nobody ever paid no college professor $50 for screwin' in a spark plug."
CDBrewster: under MY roof you will DO what I say!"
SFarmer912: "Who could you have more fun with, an educated woman or a rusty Mustang?"
Cheeky222: Young man college is important and it will help you make better of yourself than ur old man.
TAYLIND: (looks off into the distance) I want a better life for you, boy, better'n I ever had. Life
CGliddenT: I would've given an arm and leg to go to college but I couldn't, so you're not going to pass it up
TAYLIND: aint easy
Marlinder: I give you the chance, you TAKE it! Don't give me no sass, either. You do as I say!
XGreyFox: Son, its your choice, but if you want to be a mechanic, could you tune up the chevy?
DRopeFirst: "Look, I pulled strings to get you into this school. You'll go. End of discussion."
Shuzzy: "You're going to regret this!" his father raged. He slammed hos lunchbox down on the table.
JeanneWrtr: LOL
LiCBeme41: "I'll make you a deal, son, give me one year at college, then I'll pay for mechanic school
JeanneWrtr: You guys have great imiaginations!
JeanneWrtr: I'm learning from you!
JeanneWrtr: Okay, moving on!!!!
JeanneWrtr: Rob is 18 now, and under duress agrees to go to college. While there,
JeanneWrtr: he falls in love with a young woman whose father is a detective on the local
JeanneWrtr: police force. He starts to talk about being a cop.
JeanneWrtr: How does his father react? GO!
LeonFlet: "Great, kid! you know, dem kops make lots of $s on the take!"
Marlinder: Look, Honey. My dad is "mobbed up". He'd kill me if he found out your Dad's a cop.
EileenLA: Dad looks him up and down, grunts. "It's a uniform."
XGreyFox: Look, your not a irish, a good cop is allways irish. to be a lawyer.
PEGINSC: A cop! I'm sending you to college to become a cop?
CDBrewster: "You don't want to be a cop. You're smarter than that! USE the brains God gave you, boy!"
Cheeky222: A cops life is a very tough one son, I won't try to change your mind but please think
SFarmer912: "You want to be a cop? That's DANGEROUS. Do you have a death wish?"
Cheeky222: long and hard before making a decision.
TriJ: Who you think you are? Dick Tracy? You never even paid attention when I had you helping me
Tillie313: "Will you still tune up the Chevy?"
MRSFRENCHY: I don't want no cop for a son. Dump the gal and dig into the studies.
Marlinder: I sure as hell can't tell him I want to join the force. Shit, I'd have to arrest my uncle!
TriJ: with the car. How you gonna be a cop?
XGreyFox: I pay money, and you want to get yourself killed? Think of your mother, think of me, think
LiCBeme41: "Finish college and then you can become a cop."
TAYLIND: You make me proud boy. If only Ma would'a lived to see this day! (Blows nose on stained ha
CDBrewster: "BTW? Son? Make sure you use a condom."
XGreyFox: of that honey you'll never let me sleep with.
DRopeFirst: "A cop? No, you'll work in the company as we've always planned"
Shuzzy: He sat down hard and wiped his hand across his brow. "What kind of life is that?" he asked.
TAYLIND: ndkerchief)
TriJ: College is not trainging you to walk the streets.
LiCBeme41: LOL CD!!
XGreyFox: He belches and hangs up the phone.
NovelEagle: "WHATCHA wanna be a cop for. All you'll get outa that'll be flat feet and a puny pension."
Foxplace: His eyes glazed over, his bottom lip quivered. "You make me proud, son."
Marlinder: Sweet Jesus! What the hell kind of son have I raised. You go NO sense at all!
U2noc: Police officer, I wanted so much more for you, you have a chance to do something with Life.
XGreyFox: he grins, "could you fix this parking ticket.
XGreyFox: ::sorry, just had to::
JeanneWrtr: Nothing you have written so far is going to appear in the novel/
TAYLIND: well, I never!
DRopeFirst: give it time
Marlinder: Ooops?
JeanneWrtr: But the characterization of Rob's father is vital in the son's life. Does
JeanneWrtr: that make sense to you?
NovelEagle: it helps us understand our character as an adult
DRopeFirst: of course
LeonFlet: jeanne sure!
Shuzzy: yes
TriJ: yes
Marlinder: I like him having to arrest his Uncle Lenny! LOL
XGreyFox: I liked that part about the parking ticket.
JeanneWrtr: Now we are going to work on characterizing Bob, as he's now known at age 45.
JeanneWrtr: He went to law school, entered the police force in a far away city and has
JeanneWrtr: worked his way up to Lieutenant. He is on the list to make Captain.
JeanneWrtr: The first female sergeant in his district is assigned to work under him
JeanneWrtr: in the homicide division. How does he treat her?
JeanneWrtr: Go!!!
Shuzzy: He opened the pizza box sitting on the cluttered table. He took one of the dried up pieces
XGreyFox: "hey sugah, want to go on a date?" Slap
Shuzzy: and took a bite.
JeanneWrtr: Make this realistis now. No jokes.
EileenLA: He opens the door for her, then shuts it on her finger.
JeanneWrtr: realistic
LeonFlet: "Sure we can work together! Which motel you prefer?"
DRopeFirst: He treats her like one of the boys - asks her to help him clean the manifold on one of the o
CDBrewster: "I'm glad I listened to Dad and made sure I have a condom! This broad's a BABE!"
TAYLIND: like a lady. Assigns her to the 'parking tickets' desk
DRopeFirst: ld cars he collects
NovelEagle: "Hey, Sweet thing, gets us some coffee, will ya?"
Shuzzy: "So," he said, "you really think you can cut homocide?"
Marlinder: Rob turned to his best friend. Watch me make her screw up. All I have to do is belch.
XGreyFox: "So, whats our workload for today? Another cut up corpse? Promise you your not going
XGreyFox: to get sick again."
Shuzzy: She looked around his untidy office.
SFarmer912: "You learn a lot of things walking a beat in Miami... better mark Joe Blow before he marks you"
Shuzzy: "It looks like homocide needs me," she said.
DRopeFirst: he refuses to note that she's female (it steams her <G>)
PEGINSC: Asks her to run errands for him
XGreyFox: "So, want to go over to the morge? I hear its lots of fun."
JeanneWrtr: Most of you are on the same track. Do any of you have a Bob who would welcome her?
CDBrewster: "I wonder if she can cook like Mom?"
DRopeFirst: I do
XGreyFox: "Get a cup of coffee for me, and do this paperwork.
Shuzzy: "You wanna' clean up?" he asked sarcastically.
Marlinder: Rob farted loudly, stinking up the police car. Maryanne tried to ignore him.
Foxplace: I should retire. Women can't do a man's job, he thought.
LeonFlet: "Well, Babe, welcome! Now, you still did not tell me: which motel?
SFarmer912: "Can you type?"
Shuzzy: "Not really," she replied. "It little order might work, though."
XGreyFox: "You promise, you won't get sick or pregant on me? hate to lose you to a oversized lard
JeanneWrtr: So for most of you, his childhood made him chauvinistic.
XGreyFox: can.
PEGINSC: Let's do this job together
NovelEagle: "If women can do this job, what the h__ have I been bustin' my b__-s for?"
RaccoonAce: respectfully standing wen she comes in greeting her politely
Marlinder: With exaggerated politeness, he held the door for her. It was a real put-down for her.
Shuzzy: <not necessarily>
JeanneWrtr: STOP!!!!!
CDBrewster: With his feet propped up on his desk, he wondered what was under her uniform.
RaccoonAce: asking how she became interesting in becoming a police officer
XGreyFox: Your a woman, what makes you think you can handle this? Besides, I'm not letting
XGreyFox: you drive.
LiCBeme41: No, Jeanne, I don't think he turned out that way.
EileenLA: I think my Bob's not so much chauvinistic as awkward around women.
JeanneWrtr: Okay. Let's say he was a little disrespectful of her upon meeting and she
JeanneWrtr: complains to the captain. How does our Lieutenant handle this, considering
JeanneWrtr: he wants to be a Captain.
JeanneWrtr: STOP!!!Okay. Let's say he was a little disrespectful of her upon meeting and she
JeanneWrtr: complains to the captain. How does our Lieutenant handle this, considering
JeanneWrtr: he wants to be a Captain.
Shuzzy: He called her into his office. "Look, we've got to talk."
JeanneWrtr: Good Shuzzy.
Marlinder: Goddam woman. Trouble-making bitch will steal my promotion, he thought.
NovelEagle: <Marlinder stole my line>
CDBrewster: "Excuse me. I know we got off on the wrong foot. What can I do to make it better?"
JeanneWrtr: Marti, you stop stealing, you heah?
Shuzzy: "I know you're in a difficult position but it's nothing anyone else has to deal with."
XGreyFox: " I like you, but I just don't think we're going to get along. Perhaps a reassighment would
XGreyFox: be better for the both of us."
Marlinder: Look, Capt. I only meant to treat her like one of the guys. She's too sensitive.
XGreyFox: "Capt, you mean you had dreams of her too?"
EileenLA: He tells the Captain it was a misunderstanding and asks if he might get a new partner.
LiCBeme41: The man went to Law School he can weasel his way out of anything
LeonFlet: "Sir, with her along, how i gonna collect OUR kickback from the houses?"
SFarmer912: "Everybody has a different story in this department, and you just got here..."
JeanneWrtr: Eileen she's not his partner, but is assigned to work under him
JeanneWrtr: Bob has to decide who to pair her with. Tell us the choice of partner for her
JeanneWrtr: that he makes and why he chooses that particular guy.
PEGINSC: If you do what I say, you can keep working for me
Shuzzy: "I'm going to put you with Murphy, he's experienced and married."
CDBrewster: "I really hate Andy. Let him work with the freakin *TOS word*"
LeonFlet: That gay cop on the vice squad's section which looks at gambling.
SFarmer912: "I'm going to team you with Nunez.. he's a hispanic, hard-working and a nice young married man.."
XGreyFox: Actually, he didn't choice a guy, he choose the only other female in his unit for her.
JeanneWrtr: Good thinking.
JeanneWrtr: SFarmer, too.
JeanneWrtr: Leon's idea is good.
XGreyFox: Since she clearly doesn't get along with Males. ;)
LeonFlet: jeanne tkz.
XGreyFox: thankya.
Shuzzy: "Listen to him and you might learn something."
NovelEagle: "put 'er with Harry. he hasn't gotten it up since junior high."
EileenLA: He puts her with a 62 year old Asian who tells really bad puns.
JeanneWrtr: YOu've had a lot of good ones, Leon, but they've gone by so fast,...
SFarmer912: laughing at NovelEagle
JeanneWrtr: Eileen, how original/.
LeonFlet: jeanne k. tks.
Shuzzy: Rob waved her away as his phone rang.
XGreyFox: "Jes? meet sally, she'll show you how to respect a boss."
NovelEagle: "I wonder if she's heard of Viagra?"
JeanneWrtr: STOP!!!!!
JeanneWrtr: Please no more sexual innuendos.
JeanneWrtr: Let's be Politically Correct, since that's what you'd have to be in a novel
JeanneWrtr: with the main character.
JeanneWrtr: Rob goes home that night to his wife and 4 children and tells them about
JeanneWrtr: the new woman in his department. How does he describe her?
LeonFlet: "Ma, kids---dady's got a real problem!"
RaccoonAce: intelligent
XGreyFox: She has a spirit, which reminds me of what I was when I was her rank. I think she'll go far
SFarmer912: "I didn't know WASP's turned out working-class girls..."
JeanneWrtr: Well, the truth is that in most police departments, men who treat women like
JeanneWrtr: sex objects end up in Sensitivity training.
Marlinder: Aww, Honey. She's a real ball-breaker. And I cannot do a damn thing to defend myself.
LiCBeme41: "Gosh, babe, we have this new woman in our precinct, young, eager, she makes me remember why
LiCBeme41: I wanted to be a cop"
JeanneWrtr: LiC. great.
Shuzzy: "It's a her." He plopped down into his easy chair.
FubarinCA: sfarmer..not working CLASS
XGreyFox: I put her with Sally, remember her? yes, the fireball that works all hours of day, and gets
JeanneWrtr: These are great.
XGreyFox: in blacks on all her cases. Should be too together.
CGliddenT: she'd be alright if she didn't think she has something to prove
LeonFlet: "Gosh, babe, we have this new gal in our squad, and she reminds me . . .
EileenLA: She's like a guy with long hair and thin ankles.
XGreyFox: ::Sorry, a large paragraph::
NovelEagle: Sensitivity Training doen's change their thoughts just their talk
Shuzzy: "Yeah, she'll work out, she's tough."
XGreyFox: She reminds me of you when we married.
LeonFlet: . . . of why we got married. About our marriage, she got me thinking . . . . "
Marlinder: If I don't watch my ass, I'm going to be working for her instead of the way it is now. Damn
PEGINSC: This young woman will turn out fine
JeanneWrtr: True, but that's what we're dealing with.
Shuzzy: "And not bad looking, either."
JeanneWrtr: STOP!!!!!
JeanneWrtr: How does his wife react? Show us and action and some words.
JeanneWrtr: GO!
EileenLA: "How thin?"
XGreyFox: "Sally? you mean that Slut? how dare you."
Shuzzy: The pillow whizzed by his head.
SFarmer912: "oh great - you have a real Clarice Starling on your hands this time..."
JeanneWrtr: (a woman's question if there ever was one Eileen)
LeonFlet: Wife slams down coffee mug. "You ain't going near her!!!"
EileenLA: She pushes back her own hair, chews her bottom lip.
Shuzzy: "No, I didn't gawk at her. You know I only have eyes for you. . . c'mere."
XGreyFox: "Why didn't you make her your partner instead? So she could learn from the best, chaviostic
XGreyFox: pig."
Cheeky222: "Oh how could you," she cries as she makes a dash for the bedroom.
JeanneWrtr: Shuzzy, that's great.
XGreyFox: "You didn't did you?"
Shuzzy: He embraced his wife as she fell into his lap from the side of his chair.
LGood67334: She folded her arms and said, "Isn't that nice."
SFarmer912: what's chaviosm? ;)
JeanneWrtr: LGood. Excellent.
XGreyFox: She pouts, "I don't believe you."
LGood67334: Thx. =)
JeanneWrtr: Didn't you ever hear of male chauvinist pigs?
PEGINSC: she must be a really good worker
LeonFlet: As he holds his wife, his wife does not notice him winking at himself in the mirror.
Shuzzy: They kissed and she pinched his nipple-- hard.
XGreyFox: Yep, thats where the idea came from.
Marlinder: Linda peered at him over her glass. "What'm I s'pposed to do? You're never home anyway!"
XGreyFox: she made him sleep in the sofa downstairs, to think about what he did that day.
JeanneWrtr: This is interesting. Do you feel that you are learning anything.
Shuzzy: "That's for everything you're not telling me," she laughed.
LeonFlet: yes!
Shuzzy: They kissed again.
JeanneWrtr: Great Shuzzy.
XGreyFox: Then, the next day, she changes the locks.
JeanneWrtr: Some of you are incorrigible.
XGreyFox: And tries to smack him with flying suitcases. ::sorry::
JeanneWrtr: STOP!!!!
Marlinder: Like you give a shit about what's going on at home? It's always the JOB!" she shrieked.
JeanneWrtr: Let's change the scenario a bit. Bob is a detective, not yet an officer.
JeanneWrtr: The new female sergeant is assigned to him with warnings that he must
JeanneWrtr: make the best of it and not get into trouble. They go on a homicide case
JeanneWrtr: together. A woman and her 6 year old have been stabbed to death.
JeanneWrtr: How do they work together? Describe the scene or their actions or
JeanneWrtr: their conversation.
JeanneWrtr: Go!!!
XGreyFox: "I bet, you love snapping on those gloves, don't you?" ::sorry, Xfiles themed::
NovelEagle: "It was thew husband," he says at first glance.
Shuzzy: A sudden dread came over him, the perp was still there somewhere.
Shuzzy: He pulled his weapon and motioned for her to do the same.
XGreyFox: "God, she's no older than my own child. We got to catch this guy.
LeonFlet: "ok, sarge! you a rising "star"---you take over. I'll be in the bar across the street!"
CDBrewster: While he takes in the death scene, being the woman that she was looks at the details that
CDBrewster: only women notice.
Shuzzy: "He's here," he whispered.
Marlinder: Rob mused as they drove along, The world's changing. Pop was right! I hate "the job".
JeanneWrtr: Hey, Leon, he's gonna get fired!
EileenLA: "Knifers are always family," Bob told her. She shook her head. "No way. Not a child. "
LeonFlet: nope; Sargent too scared to report him.
XGreyFox: they enter, carefully taking each in each room, as the man comes as him with a butcher
SFarmer912: Him: "Oh Jesus!! There's a kid in that room... don't go in there... Her:"I'm calling for back-up.."
JeanneWrtr: CD, show us that happening. Good idea, but you're telling not showing.
XGreyFox: knife, she disarms the husband, and the two become close friends.
PEGINSC: If we catch the one that killed the kid, I'll strangle him myself," he siad. "
JeanneWrtr: Good Pegin.
Shuzzy: She pointed upstairs. A sound, soft, a door closing issued from the second floor.
Marlinder: Rob turned to the woman. "You need to watch, listen and learn. Quit thinking about gender.
CDBrewster: The door opens and she followed him.
JeanneWrtr: SFarmer, too.
LGood67334: Afterwards, silence chilled the air in the car.
XGreyFox: A quite place, and a crazy husband in the corner, wailing about the voices.
LeonFlet: She looks around, says, "Gee, I don't think this was a happy family!"
CDBrewster: "You see that?" He asks pointing to the smudges on blood leaking away from the bodies.
PEGINSC: I know how you feel she said, having kids and all but you know the law
JeanneWrtr: Eileen, just caught yours. Excellent.
Shuzzy: "Back me up," he whispered again and approached the staircase.
Marlinder: All that BS you're puttin' out about discrimation is makin' you lots of enemies.
CDBrewster: She was looking at the woman's handbag on the floor next to the TV.
JeanneWrtr: xGrey, I like that. It's different.
XGreyFox: Ya know, he says, I could be all wrong about you. You got guts.
CDBrewster: "Yeah." She said heading toward the bag.
Shuzzy: Quietly he put his foot on the first stair. He heard a window opening.
XGreyFox: Thankya.
LeonFlet: Then he looked into that handbag, removed five twentys.
Marlinder: Rob took hidden pleasure in Karen's discomfort at the nakedness of the rape victim.
Shuzzy: Two steps at a time he leaped up the stairs. She was right behind him.
XGreyFox: A sneeze, then a yelp of pain, and some cuss words, as the husband slices off a finger.
JeanneWrtr: Marti, good characterization.
CDBrewster: While he bent over the bodies, and took photos. The discovery was made.
JeanneWrtr: Leon, what does he do with the twenties?
Shuzzy: They hopscotched down the hallway, one covering the other.
Marlinder: Death, never pretty, was particularly grotesque in this instance. Bet she vomits, he though
LeonFlet: pockets them. smiles at her, saying nothing.
SFarmer912: "She's dead... wrapped in plastic.."
CDBrewster: The wallet was still in the purse, and had over a thousand dollars in it.
XGreyFox: they see the husband, holding the bloody knife. She says, "lets take him."
XGreyFox: "She's dead bob," She says in her startrek voice.
CDBrewster: "What do you make of this?" She asked, turning and thrusting it out to him.
JeanneWrtr: XGrey, you have quite a story going.
NovelEagle: Bob gagged at the sight, but his partner was all efficiency.
Shuzzy: The room at the end of the hall had an open window, the curtains fluttering in the
Shuzzy: breexe
LeonFlet: She sees him take the money. She checks purse---well over a . . .
JeanneWrtr: NovelEagle, good take. Opposite from expectations.
LeonFlet: . . . thousand in there. she looks at him: "You really are small time, huh?"
JeanneWrtr: Leon, that's great.
LeonFlet: jeane tks.
XGreyFox: The husband, looks down at his finger, and sighs, as both say, "We better get him some
Marlinder: Linda glared at Rob. He put his hands in his pockets and looked off in the distance. "She
Shuzzy: Cautiously he leaned out and saw . . .
XGreyFox: medical attention.
NovelEagle: tks Jeanne
Marlinder: asked to be here," he thought.
JeanneWrtr: But I didn't want our Rob to be small time. ::::sulking:::::
Shuzzy: Nothing, the perp had fled.
SFarmer912: "She had tickets for for a MLB game next week.."
JeanneWrtr: STOP!!!!
LeonFlet: She takes the rest of the $s, pushes it into her bra, and gives him a BIG smile.
XGreyFox: All this, just cause the wife burnt dinner one time to many.
LeonFlet: "I learn good!" she says.
JeanneWrtr: What was the point to this exercise tonight?
JeanneWrtr: What did you learn?
LGood67334: Spontaneity and discovery?
Tillie313: Her naturalness as she pocketed the money, gave Rob pause.
Shuzzy: There are many layers to a character.
JeanneWrtr: Put it into words.
LeonFlet: polish creativity, immagination; be specific. use action and dialogue. look at . . .
XGreyFox: I learned that I can make a good story out of a simple idea of a character.
JeanneWrtr: Shuzzy, great, LGood, too.
LeonFlet: . . . action from charters' viewpoint.
SFarmer912: there are a hundred different variations for any given plot point.. choose the right one
Shuzzy: And they come from the character's previous experiences.
NovelEagle: a character is more than what appears on your pages
XGreyFox: without actually writing down the info, but hopping into the character's mind gives you a
JeanneWrtr: Leon, comprehensive.Sfarmer excellent point.
EileenLA: The point is to recognize that characters must behave believably, must follow through with
JeanneWrtr: Eagle, you said it!!!
EileenLA: actions and words.
XGreyFox: clear view of what the action will be.
Tillie313: Characters have a history, the reader may or may not know when they start out.
CDBrewster: I learned to go deeper into the words than just a simple chatroom sentence.
LeonFlet: jean tkz.
JeanneWrtr: Great, Eileen.
Marlinder: Well rounded characterization is created, step by step, from the beginning, layer by layer.
JeanneWrtr: CDBrewster, I'm glad. Marti, too.
JeanneWrtr: Any questions?
GrammyDog: one little step can change the outcome completely
Shuzzy: Depth of character expands the fictional dream.
LGood67334: Are you doing this again soon?
JeanneWrtr: Shuzzy, you got it!
JeanneWrtr: I try to do it about once a month.
Shuzzy: :::bows:::
JeanneWrtr: It's exhausting for me!
EileenLA: Nice job Jeanne. Thanks.
LGood67334: Good to know. Thanks.
XGreyFox: I liked it, it was a relaxing exiperment::besides, it draws me away from my novel, and
Marlinder: I love these exercises. They are GOOD for us!
XGreyFox: allows me to rest my mind.
LeonFlet: jeanne how much of your basic yarn was set b4hand?
Tillie313: Excellent!
JeanneWrtr: You're welcome. If you learned half of what you said you learned I did my job!
SFarmer912: maybe we should try this framed around a book plot that many have read
LeonFlet: marlinder i concur!!!!!
EileenLA: Fox, you rested? I developed a permanant squint!
LeonFlet: jeanne you did not do your job good.
JeanneWrtr: Almost none. Just the idea of a little boy growing up to be a policeman.
CowboyLove: Oh man is it over???
LeonFlet: jeanne you did you job GREAT! thank you!
JeanneWrtr: Yep, it's over.
LiCBeme41: Jeanne, it was great and I enjoyed the laugh as well!
LiCBeme41: Thanks Jeanne and Jan
SFarmer912: semi-kudos to Jean.. it's hard to come up with good exercises
JeanneWrtr: Check the classes on NovelAdvice and the Writers Club site.
XGreyFox: If your wondering, his wife dies, and his partner and he fall in love, and he gets remarried
Shuzzy: I always enjoy your exercises.
XGreyFox: within three years.
Shuzzy: Very refreshing.
JeanneWrtr: If any of you want to write a paragraph or two of a scene based on tonight's
JeanneWrtr: exercise and send it to me, I will comment.
JeanneWrtr: Good night. See you next week when Eileen discusses plotting.
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