AND NOW, FROM NAZARETH, THE AMAZING...

From: alph@wsinfo03.win.tue.nl (G.J.W. Hagenaars)
Subject: Rowan Atkinson, Live

AND NOW, FROM NAZARETH, THE AMAZING...

And on the third day, there was a marriage in Canaan of Galilea. And it
came to pass that all the wine was drunk. And the mother of Jesus said
onto the Lord: "They have no more wine.". And Jesus said onto the
servants: "Fill six water-pots with water.". And they did so. And when
the steward of the feast did taste of the water from the pots, it had
become wine. And they knew not _whence_ it has come. But the servants
did know. And they applauded loudly in the kitchen.

And they said onto the Lord: "How the hell did you do that?". And
inquired of Him: "Do you do children's parties?". And the Lord said:
"... No.". But the servants did press Him, saying: "Go on, give us
another one.". And so He brought forth a carrot. And said: "Behold this.
For it is a carrot.". And all about Him _knew_ that it was so. For it
was orange. With a green top. And He did place a large red cloth over
the carrot, and then removed it. And Lo! He held in his hand a white
rabbit. And all were _amazed_, and said: "This guy is _really_ good. He
should turn professional.".

And they brought Him on a stretcher, a man who was sick of the palsey
(?). And they cried onto Him: "Maestro, this man is sick of the palsey
(?).". And the Lord said: "If I had to spend my whole life on a
stretcher, I'd be pretty sick of the palsey too.". And they were filled
with joy. And cried out: "Lord, thy oneliners are as good as thy tricks.
Thou art indeed an allround family entertainer.".

And there came onto Him a woman called Mary, who had seen the Lord and
believed. And Jesus said onto her: "Put on a tutu. And lie down in this
box.". And then took He forth a saw, and cleft her in twain. And there
was much wailing and gnashing of teeth. But Jesus said: "O ye of little
faith.". And he threw open the box, and Lo! Mary was whole. And the
crowd went absolutely bananas. And Jesus and Mary took a deep bow. And
He said onto her: "From now on you shall be known as `Sharon'. For that
is a good name for an assistant.".

And the people said: "We've never seen anything like this. This is great.
You must be the Son of God.". But the Lord said: "No. I am He who comes
_before_.". And they were sore amazed, and said: "Then master. How shall
we know the true Lord?". And Jesus said: "By His name shall ye know Him.
And He shall have a very religious name. And He shall be called `Paul'.
And `Daniel' shall He be called.". "`Paul Daniels'??", they cried. And
the Lord said: "... Yes. Something like that."

Here ends the lesson.

END