REVENGE DRIVES A VOLVO

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ÃÅ ÅÅÅÅÅ ÅÅÅÅÅÅÅ´            REVENGE DRIVES A VOLVO             ÅÅÅÅÅÅ ÅÅÅÅÅÅÅ ´

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  Here's a fairly complicated one that just occurred to me...

 

  Let's say your next-door neighbour has just had a cellular phone installed

  in his car.  You find his boasting about it is quite insufferable.  If

  you're the kind of person who wastes his time actually DOING these silly

  destructive pranks, it's not likely that you'll also be able to afford a

  cellular phone.  So since you can't "one up" your neighbour by buying a more

  expensive cellular phone for your car, what do you do for revenge?

 

  Go to the local shopping mall and find one of those stores that sells

  overpriced trinkets to men.  You know:  tie racks with built- in

  calculators, golf-ball roundness gauges, backgammon boards with little nudes

  on the pieces ... that kind of thing.  I guarantee they'll have a fake

  cellular phone kit.  "Fool your neighbours!", it says on the box.  But

  that's not good enough.

 

  Wait until night-time, then sneak over to your neighbour's house and pry off

  his cellular antenna with a strong, very sharp knife.  This is easier than

  it sounds, because the antenna transmits its signal INDUCTIVELY, so there's

  no wire through the glass.  Now use some "Krazy Glue" to stick on your fake

  antenna.

 

  Open up your fake phone and put rocks in it.  Close it, then "install" your

  fake phone in YOUR car, using your neighbour's REAL antenna in place of the

  fake.

 

  The next day, when your neighbour comes out, say, "Hey!  I got a cellular

  too!  Help me test it!  Give me a call!"

 

  He'll tap buttons trying to get something to work, but since he now is using

  an antenna made of cheap plastic, nothing will happen. Look sympathetic,

  then say, "Maybe the network's down.  Let me try."

 

  Making sure he can see you, pick up your phone and get ready to dial.  Look

  bewildered.  Heft the phone.  "Hey, check this out! Somebody's been screwing

  with my phone.  I swear it was twice as heavy as this last night..."

 

  Using a screwdriver, open up the phone to reveal to your neighbour the rocks

  you'd stuffed inside.  Look indignant and say, "Some jerk is playing a

  stupid game around here!"  Hand your neighbour the screwdriver and get ready

  for the fun part.

 

  Your neighbour will, of course, open up his phone.  But did you know that

  all cellular phones in the U.S. MUST render themselves inoperative if

  tampered with?  (I know because I worked on designing one, once)  Once

  opened, it is very likely that the phone will become a useless hunk of

  plastic and silicon.

 

  Revenge is complete.