Fortune

 You stink.

Dont eat the last meatball.

If time were money I wouldn't be working at Maxi-Mart.

Pillows are people too.

All the girls ignore me! How about you?

When's the last time you had a Granola Bar?

You will reach your sexual peak Tuesday. After that it's all downhill.

You could use some tight braces.

Sam says hi.

You like to smell your own fart and your Uncle Theodore's farts too.

Shop at That Stanley or suffer the consequences!

Do the Humpty Hump. Do the Humpty Hump.

White Noise is a close friend.

I'll bet you have a collection of boogers under your chair.

You obviously have nothing better to do then have your fortune smelled.

Look under the second stool at the restaraunt Fiorellas. There's a suprise!

Trim your nosehairs... PLEASE!!!

Pubic hair is cool.

I'll bet you really want to sleep late tommorow.

Who's Harry Crumb?

How about those Knicks?

MutLey Dawg sure does do a good lick!

Look at your backspace key... If you're STUPID!!!

Press Alt+H for a big surprise!

Would you donate a sexual organ for ten-thousand dollars?

Don't look at me that way.

Mick Jagger has big lips. Huh?

MS-DOS can bite me.

WWIV rules because I am here.

You want to read a book; Truly Tasteless Jokes vol. VII.

If you start to see repeat fortunes then tell the sysop to buy more.

Answer the phone and £ÇÔö›œžŸ

Dumpster is man's best friend.

How does it feel to have your fortune smelled?

Madonna is not a close personal friend of yours.

Prick your finger; it does a body good.

Tounge a light socket; it's fun!

Quality is job one.

286 sucks.

386 sucks.

Phone jacks are people too.

Red eyes are better than none at all.

Are you sure it's just your fortune you want smelled?

Why can't I be you?

Spank me.

What's the difference between an elephant?

I don't think you make enough money to pay me for my time.

Mmmmmm Mmmmmm Mmmmmm Mmmmmm.

I thought only dogs could do that.

May I take your order?

Hot fries!!! Watch out!!!

AHEM!!!

You Suck.

I Suck.

Life Sucks.

Willy Beamish is a hard game to beat.

You can't beat Wagner's meat!

Your belly button probally has a nice scent to it right now.

I like the white stuff in between my toes.

Yes; we have no bananna.

Bow wow wow.

Plastic is not a good idea.

Wear the blue one.

It compliments your pants.

I wore an itsy bitsy teeny weeny bikini.

I'm probally naked right now.

Pants and then shoes Einstein.

That keyboard cozy looks goofy.

My mouse is better than yours.

Hit Alt+X for a big suprise!

Your'e getting sleepy.

Take out the TRASH!

Word to ya motherboard.

One man's trash is YOUR treasure.

If ya can't beat 'em... fist 'em!

Onions make my feet stink!

Uh huh huh huh that was cool.

Over the shoulder boulder holder.

HOW DO THEY CRAM ALL THAT GRAHAM???

He who smelt it dealt it!

Strong enough for a man but made for a woman.

My profesional opinion is that your fortune stinks.

I saw Elvis on a stamp once.

Don't be cruel.

Your teeth are so yellow that when you smile traffic slows down.

I love this place!

RULE #1: Sometimes ya gotta break the rules.

Tell your mom that the check's in the mail.

Pop that zit BEFORE your date and not after.

Towelhead talks trash!

Just just... Slam!

I am smelling your fortune... and it stinks.

Is that a comb in your pocket or are you happy to see me?

Working hard or hardly working?

REGISTER NOW AND WE WILL THROW IN THIS HANDY GINSU KNIFE!

YESTERDAY WAS THE LAST DAY OF THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

Revenge is sweet but sabotage is better!

If you can't beat 'em, SABOTAGE THEM!

THIS BOARD IS COOL!

My disk is hard.

How's my SMELLING? Call 1-800-WE-STINK

If you can read this you are too close!

I think you have SMELLED enough young man!

You're a fart smeller... I mean a smart feller.

Corn is the only vegitable that hurts when you step on it.

So what else is under your bed?

You will get your fortune smelled by a handsome smeller.

You need help.

Do not pass GO; you don't collect JACK!

My ear is not crusty... check your head.

I don't play that.

I need a crystal nose to smell big fortunes.

Your fortune doesn't smell, it STINKS!!!

Smell a fortune.

You will go out with a fortune smeller who will smell your fortune.

Low density disks smell.

What is the sound of one hand clapping?

How does a one armed man drive a stick shift?

What's so magic about a marker? That it works for 3/99 cents?

I'm going to bed and so should you.

Shoes are a blessing.

Need I say more?

It's not sane.

Take my RAM... PLEASE!!!

One lump or two?

Don't tantalize the big black dog.

What a man.

Sanatize that thing for pete's sake.

You will find hot buns at a bake sale.

You have a pillow in your bed.

Don't eat raw sewerage.

You sleep with your pillow.

Don't answer the phone unless it rings.

I think someone is calling... pick up the phone and see. ›’z{ NO CARRIER

I think you should slip into a disk case.

Your disk has more cashe than you do.

Don't squeeze the charmin.

Don't play in ant piles.

Don't juggle knives and chainsaws at the same time.

Please clear the doorway.

Give yourself a melvin... you will thank me later.

It is time to turn your underware inside out.

Brown in back; yellow in front.

Smelling fortunes is a college major.

Sex-ed is for people who know nothing about sex.

I predict the sysop will register or the board may crash.

Produce workers sure know their fruits.

Butchers know their meat.

Your mom and dad did it. They probally still do.

Nixon resigned two days after I was born. Is there a connection?

Community college sucks.

Buy a higher speed modem.

Do me baby.

Give me a big wet kiss.

Never ask Bubba for a hug.

Hold a magnet to your monitor and watch the cool colors!!!

Compute this.

Try not to play frisbee on the highway.

I have made so much money smelling fortunes that I might buy some gum.

Hit ALT+X for a bug suprise!!!

I think birth control is.

You should go out with sexy smellers.

Give the sysop a dolllar so he can give me five and we all can sleep tonight.

Woman is man's best friend.

Man is woman's best friend.

I am the right person for you.

Ever do a Danish king?

You are getting sleepy... and willing to donate money for more fortunes.

How do you make groceries? 

Make me feel like a man.

Take a walk.

Take me.

Crapola.

Baseball Stars rulez.

Do you know how much I love you? Do you?

InterContinantalBalisticMissile.

Are you down with Opie?

What are you waiting for?

Don't answer the iron.

Don't walk through the garden.

I don't get it.

Give me two Tony sucks and one eat me.

Our house is so small that we have to walk outside to eat a large pizza.

Mr. Geometry over here.

Don't play with your keys.

Food fight!!!

Go coo-coo for Coaco Puffs.

What came first: the chicken or the egg? I say the chicken. Eggs cant come.

What has eighty-eight keys and can't open a door?

Spaceboy I missed you.

Hey!!! I don't smell that.

There is no money in fortune smelling.

Ed McMahon is a great lover.

Your boss is a putz. If you are a boss then you probally are a putz.

K-Mart brand is the way to go!

Can you smell MY fortune for a change?

Hit ALT+D for a big suprise!!!

Hit ALT+H for a big suprise!!!

Terminate sucks.

Be cool. Stay is school.

Mutley Dawg!!!

Nintendo is on the way out of the door.

Straight out the box.

A condom ( when used properly ) can help prevent the spreading of AIDS and VD.

Tricky Dicky wants to play cards with Samantha Fox.

Numb buts are the worst kind.

Meaning of Nothing.

Meat Loaf is just that.

Hoof hearted ice melted. ( say it fast and together )

Polish it.

One good smell deserver another.

Bob the bartender is not your type.

Mozart is decomposing as we speak!

Make mom proud.. REGISTER FORTUNE SMELLS... she would have wanted it that way.

Try a Huge Meat patty on Lightly Toatsted Buns with maybe a HOT Apple Pie!

For a good time PLAY FORTUNE SMELLS 7 days a week 24 hours a day!

If you wish hard enough your sysop will register fortune smells!