Alice's Adventures in Cyberspace
The Alice Messages from Channel One
Vol 1. text file
Alice's Adventures in Cyberspace,
a joint electronic venture by Peter Neuendorffer and Thom Little,
from Channel One Telecommunications (617-354-8873) Main Conference.
These are e-mail messages from 1992-1993 about a mutual friend, Alice,
a mixture of fact and fiction. Thanks to Lin Sprague for compiling a
large part of these messages.
Alice is a friend.
ts Alice
Searching for ALICE
To: THOM LITTLE
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER
Subj: ...alice sneaking...
Alice and I have been camping on a private reserve West of here.
She had been acting a bit oddly of late, and It took the month to
convince her that I am not an imaginary friend (as she is an imaginary
friend, we were able to put her into a self-help group that is all
the rage at the reservation). Those of you who do not know Alice as
I do will immediately come to the conclusion that I am crazy.
Far from it. At any rate Alice had an unexplained lapse of memory and
forgot all about stargazying, and has become quite concerned about
the Canadian geese that do a great deal of sitting around on the
property where we stayed.
Well, I guess my flawless Thurber writing style is a bit rusty.
My release of the ANimator is going to be leisurly and my best
friend says I am improving. I got a NEC Powermate now and I'm thrilled
at the attendent speed that comes with staying one generation behind
(it's a 286.).
===========================================================================
From: THOM LITTLE Refer#: 150160
To: PETER NEUENDORFFER Recvd: YES
Subj: ...ALICE SNEAKING... Conf: (0) Main Board
Peter:
PN> Alice breezed in spouting biases in your record collection.
Tell her they're CDs.
PN>She looked for Judy Collins and it said "see buffy st. marie".
Tell her to look a little more closely. Judy is in section 4 right
between Janis Joplin and Emmy Lou Harris.
PN>tells me you have a color notebook computer.
She's not correct (i.e., wrong) again. Just a big tower mounted
machine here. No notebooks.
PN> Got a new Winter coat today, and I'm giving Alice the old one.
PN>Do you think that's ok? It needs cleaning.
She stopped by tonight wearing it. It looks just fine on her. She
wears a bright red silk scarf with it. She had run by a
clean-it-while-you-wait place and it looked like brand new. I'm
surprised that you traded it in on a new model. It looks really fine
to me.
PN> Alice is rebuilding the loft for herself, and says she will
PN>be back in time for Symphony this weekend.
I don't think so. She has been mumdeling somnething about the "weird
frenchmen" lately. I'm not quite sure what it's all about, but I have
a feeling that the loft is for the frenchmen. I'm nos sure if it's a
woman or a man. You know how Alice is so old fashioned that she uses
male pronouns when referijng to either men or women.
... Thom
þ ù10-21ù23:30ù <product_improvement> ::= ùThomùLittleùAssociatesù
===========================================================================
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER Refer#: 150414
To: THOM LITTLE Recvd: NO
Subj: ...ALICE SNEAKING... Conf: (0) Main Board
TL>Tell her they're CDS.
You mean not everyone has a gramaphone with the big trumpet and
the dog?
TL>The loft is for the Frenchman.
NO! NO! NO! You wouldn't do that to me! Foul!
Never once did I mention my old jacket was blue (the red scarf). You
are uncanny. The reason I mentioned the notebook, is that a friend
of mine has a color notebook computer. It is startling to see the
bright color with such a small footprint.
Word of the Month:
Footprint -jargon for the amount of space a computer takes up
on the bottom.
Thom, my writing skills are becoming sloppy. Just the other day
a media person said I was hard to understand.
PN>Do you like my quotes? I do them manually.
===========================================================================
From: THOM LITTLE Refer#: 150516
To: PETER NEUENDORFFER Recvd: YES
Subj: ... alice, coming & going Conf: (0) Main Board
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Peter:
PN>Never once did I mention my old jacket was blue (the red scarf).
I don't understand what you're saying. Why would it make a difference
what you mentioned about the jacket? Alice showed up wearing it (fresh
from the cleaners).
PN>Thom, my writing skills are becoming sloppy. Just the other day
PN>a media person said I was hard to understand.
That kind of complaint from a media person could mean only one thing
... you used a two syllable word in front of them.
... Thom
þ ù10-24ù13:40ù <product_improvement> ::= ùThomùLittleùAssociatesù
===========================================================================
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER Refer#: 150621
To: THOM LITTLE Recvd: YES
Subj: ... ALICE, COMING & GOING Conf: (0) Main Board
We are perplexed by the woman in question's propensity for
faster than light transport between the parties in question.
We've got to think of something for her to do. She finished the
loft, but Perot had never intended to live in it. Just talk about
it. Hmmmmmm.
I have nothing intelligent to say, so I won't say it.
===========================================================================
From: THOM LITTLE Refer#: 150631
To: PETER NEUENDORFFER Recvd: YES
Subj: ... ALICE, COMING & GOING Conf: (0) Main Board
Peter:
PN> We are perplexed by the woman in question's propensity for
PN>faster than light transport between the parties in question.
On the contrary, I'm getting used to it by now. She claims she's going
to run the Irish American 10K with me tomorrow in Medford. We'll have
to see if she does. (This is a nifty little race because it ususally
attracts a world class runner. Ingrid Kristiansen ran it the three
years ago. Douglas Wakihuri ran it two years ago.)
Alice plans to wear her new coat before and after the race with her
silk scarf. She plans to wear the scarf during the race. I told her
that noone cared one way or another but she seemed to think that it was
important.
You know how she is ...
PN>We've got to think of something for her to do.
She thinks up enough of those herself. We've go to think of something
to sidetrack her so we can get on with the rest of our lives. She does
just seem to get into the oddest positions.
... Thom
þ ù10-24ù23:25ù <product_improvement> ::= ùThomùLittleùAssociatesù
===========================================================================
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER Refer#: 150678
To: THOM LITTLE Recvd: YES
Subj: ... ALICE, COMING & GOING Conf: (0) Main Board
Well she dashed over here to wish me a happy birthday. She sang the
original version with 23 choruses. I was going for the extra hours
sleep, but she fixed that. I tried to get her to go to Dunkin Donuts,
but she said she had to get ready for the race.
===========================================================================
From: THOM LITTLE Refer#: 150721
To: PETER NEUENDORFFER Recvd: YES
Subj: ... ALICE, COMING & GOING Conf: (0) Main Board
Peter:
PN> Well she dashed over here to wish me a happy birthday. She sang the
PN>original version with 23 choruses. I was going for the extra hours
PN>sleep, but she fixed that. I tried to get her to go to Dunkin Donuts,
PN>but she said she had to get ready for the race.
She never ran today. She's a tough one to figure out.
I saw her at the six mile marker chatting with the person who was
trying to call out the split times to the runners as they passed by.
She was wearing her new coat and her new red silk scarf.
The weather was blustery today and the size of the field was greatly
reduced from last year. It seems that the weather kept a lot of people
away. It was about 45-50 and drizzling. You know ... perfect running
weather.
There's no accounting for some people's taste I guess.
Oh ... Alice was carrying a big sign ... it said "If Stockdale is the
answer what is the question?"
I talked to her after the race. She was still carrying the sign. I
pointed out to her that it was an old anti-Jerry Brown sign. She nodded
and commented completely on the subject ...
"SO!?," she said.
And Peter ... I guess she was right ... at any rate, I couldn't argue
with her ... on the other hand ... I was prettyh intent on getting warm
and dry when I was talking to her ... perhaps that's why I had to delay
any further continuance of our metaphysical discussion.
When I last saw her she was in the center of a group of people chanting.
I was too far away to make out what the chant was. Everyone was
smiling though so I guess they were happy (and no longer dicussing
national politics).
... Thom
þ ù10-25ù16:56ù <product_improvement> ::= ùThomùLittleùAssociatesù
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER Refer#: 150777
To: THOM LITTLE Recvd: YES
Subj: ... ALICE, COMING & GOING Conf: (0) Main Board
She was chanting "Four more years of this?, Guess I'm just a
pretty miss". Or something to that effect. Thom, if I had one of
these faster modems, why doesn't the factory default work? Also,
I keep seeing references to PKZIP with higher versions than
1.10.
Yrs, confused.
Glad the race went well with the optimal weather to boot.
===========================================================================
From: THOM LITTLE Refer#: 150785
To: PETER NEUENDORFFER Recvd: YES
Subj: ... ALICE, COMING & GOING Conf: (0) Main Board
Peter:
PN> She was chanting "Four more years of this?, Guess I'm just a
PN>pretty miss". Or something to that effect.
Yes that sounds about right. I was a disance away and only heard parts
of it. Why were all the spectators smiling?
PN>... if I had one of
PN>these faster modems, why doesn't the factory default work?
I have no idea what your question is. Could you give me a little more
information?
PN>I keep seeing references to PKZIP with higher versions than
PN>1.10.
There are a lot of versions out with trojans and virus attached. The
latest version is 1.1. Version 2 is not out yet. When it is out it
probably will be called something other then 2.0 due to all the bogus
crap that has been put out by various children.
Phil is advertising 2.0 in a lot of programmer oriented magazines (for
the last few months). He has released a partial beta version. The
final package is still pending release.
PN> Yrs, confused.
PN>Glad the race went well with the optimal weather to boot.
... Thom
===========================================================================
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER Refer#: 150808
To: THOM LITTLE Recvd: NO
Subj: ... ALICE, COMING & GOING Conf: (0) Main Board
Last night she read me a bed-time story about Gwendolyn and the
Four Wolves. Goldilocks had wandered in with Gwendolyn and were
arguing heatedly about the upcoming Caucus Race. The wolves popped
out and started singing "We Own You" in 8 part harmony. Goldilocks
turned on the radio and everybody lived happily ever after. The End.
Today I was sitting on a park bench in the Common near some
trees, when the tree-pruning people drove up with bucket trucks.
Riding up high was none other than Alice.
The pruners told her she had to get out "You can't do this
work, Honey". " Maybe not, she muttered, but I could run for
President".
===========================================================================
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER Refer#: NONE
To: THOM LITTLE Recvd: YES
Subj: ALICE AND THE MEDIA Conf: (0) Main Board
Alice came home very tired and bedraggled tonight. She gave her
first press conference - in front of the Ritz. There were
representatives of the major and minor media. She threw the transcript
at me (she enlisted a student from the Cafe de Paris next door to
write everything down).
Alice: Yes, CBS
CBS: Excuse the laughter, Alice, but how will you run this late in the
race?
Alice: I am an imaginary candidate.
NBC: Do you do sitcoms or whistlestops?
Alice: I did a whistlestop today to get out the vote.
ABC: What is your opinion on AIDS?
Alice: research, research, housing.
The Boston Herald: How about an interview?
Alice: No thanks.
Alices press secretary: One more question.
Q from a syndicate: Are you a Teddy Bear, Alice?
Alice: No.
Q: Are you aware of the international Teddy Bear conspiracy?
Alice:No.
Q: How long have you been a Teddy Bear sympathiser?
Alice:No comment.
[end of Alice's Presidential press conference\
===========================================================================
From: THOM LITTLE Refer#: 151299
To: PETER NEUENDORFFER Recvd: YES
Subj: ALICE AND THE MEDIA Conf: (0) Main Board
Peter:
PN>CBS: Excuse the laughter, Alice, but how will you run this late in the
PN>race?
PN>Alice: I am an imaginary candidate.
Seems logical to me.
PN>The Boston Herald: How about an interview?
PN>Alice: No thanks.
Seems logical to me.
PN>Q from a syndicate: Are you a Teddy Bear, Alice?
PN>Alice: No.
PN>Q: Are you aware of the international Teddy Bear conspiracy?
PN>Alice:No.
PN>Q: How long have you been a Teddy Bear sympathiser?
PN>Alice:No comment.
Oh ... she's not mentioned that to me.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
I didn't get home from work till 9:30 Friday so I didn't get started on
my run until 10 PM. This was the first time I've been running that
I've not encountered another runner along the river. Hell it was in
the forties and 10PM. Where were they.
I hadn't seen Alice in a while. I had no idea what she was up to until
you informed me taht she was running for president.
She joined me Friday night and we just ran along the river looking at
the lights and wondering about the stars. She was very quiet. She
seemed content. She wasn't in one of her blazing fast moods. She just
seemed to want to run along and enjoy the evening.
When we reached the end of the run she just smiled THAT smile if hers
and stepped into a shadow. That was the last I've seen of her.
Do you have any further news? Teddy bears? Conspiracy?
... Thom
---
þ ù11-03ù00:33ù <product_improvement> ::= ùThomùLittleùAssociatesù
===========================================================================
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER Refer#: 151786
To: THOM LITTLE Recvd: NO
Subj: ALICE AND THE MEDIA Conf: (0) Main Board
TL>Do you have any further news? Teddy bears? Conspiracy?
No, I don't believe in that conspiracy. I guess there is a company
in New Hampshire I believe that makes teddy bears with custom clothes.
My teddy bear as a child was blue and was missing one eye.
===========================================================================
From: THOM LITTLE Refer#: 151000
To: PETER NEUENDORFFER Recvd: YES
Subj: ... ALICE, COMING & GOING Conf: (0) Main Board
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Alice:
PN> The pruners told her she had to get out "You can't do this
PN>work, Honey". " Maybe not, she muttered, but I could run for
PN>President".
Yes ... she really started expressing that opionon after she watched
Stockdale on the "de-bate."
She'd never get elected though ... she's over qualified.
... Thom
---
þ ù11-03ù00:23ù <product_improvement> ::= ùThomùLittleùAssociatesù
===========================================================================
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER Refer#: 151785
To: THOM LITTLE Recvd: NO
Subj: ... ALICE, COMING & GOING Conf: (0) Main Board
Well, I don't think she filed her papers anyway. Doesn't the
party decide who gets to be on the primary ballot? Who decided that
Perot was to be on the ballot- oh I see, he wasn't in a primary.
===========================================================================
From: THOM LITTLE Refer#: 151840
To: PETER NEUENDORFFER Recvd: YES
Subj: ALICE AND THE MEDIA Conf: (0) Main Board
Peter:
PN>No, I don't believe in that conspiracy. I guess there is a company
PN>in New Hampshire I believe that makes teddy bears with custom clothes.
PN>My teddy bear as a child was blue and was missing one eye.
I've not seen Alice since the election. Have you seen her? What does
she say about the news from Littlerock?
... Thom
þ ù11-05ù00:08ù <product_improvement> ::= ùThomùLittleùAssociatesù
===========================================================================
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER Refer#: 152020
To: THOM LITTLE Recvd: YES
Subj: ALICE AND THE MEDIA Conf: (0) Main Board
TL>I've not seen Alice since the election.
Me neither, I thought she was with you.
===========================================================================
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER Refer#: NONE
To: THOM LITTLE Recvd: YES
Subj: ALICE Conf: (0) Main Board
She finally showed up at the coffee shop I frequent. She said she
needed her space. Well she looks for rested and she confided in me
that running the way she does takes a lot out of one.
===========================================================================
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER Refer#: NONE
To: THOM LITTLE Recvd: NO
Subj: GUESS WHO Conf: (0) Main Board
Well, of all things, Alice's old flame Carpenter showed up at my door
with a large knapsack and a puppy in tow. He is wondering if a phone
call can be set up to Alice over at your place. Evidently it is too cold
to do marine biology. Carpenter you may recall is 6'6" and trim and
smokes a pipe. He commented that I didn't seem to be working on the
computer like I used to. RSVP
===========================================================================
From: THOM LITTLE Refer#: 152454
To: PETER NEUENDORFFER Recvd: YES
Subj: ALICE Conf: (0) Main Board
Peter:
PN> She finally showed up at the coffee shop I frequent. She said she
PN>needed her space. Well she looks for rested and she confided in me
PN>that running the way she does takes a lot out of one.
Yes. Then she stopped over here. She was wearing a white blouse with
little teddy bears all over it. I asked her about it and she mumbled
something ... conspiracy? convention? convocation? ... I could't quite
make it out.
She had some hot chocolate and noted that it was VERY cold and she was
really loving the chocolate and was snuggling into the easy chair as
she sipped it.
We were listening to Dr. Hook and the MEdicine Show at the time. She
noted that it was a strange name. She noted that for all their
attempts to be sexist they were really just a bunch of sweet guys.
Then she got up, put on her new/old coat, wrapped the red scarf around
her head and ventured back out into the night.
It was the most human-like thing I've ever seen her do.
Do you have any idea what she has gotten into this time?
... Thom
þ ù11-09ù00:36ù <product_improvement> ::= ùThomùLittleùAssociatesù
From: THOM LITTLE Refer#: 152036
To: B Recvd: YES
Subj: ALICE AND THE MEDIA Conf: (0) Main Board
Bill:
BB>Is it possible that Alice went to NY right after your run to take part
BB>in the Marathon?
No. That would take dedication. As we know by now, Alice is ... er
... how shall I put this ... less then dedicated.
... Thom
þ ù11-09ù00:27ù <product_improvement> ::= ùThomùLittleùAssociatesù
===========================================================================
From: THOM LITTLE Refer#: 152041
To: PETER NEUENDORFFER Recvd: YES
Subj: ALICE AND THE MEDIA Conf: (0) Main Board
Peter:
PN>Me neither, I thought she was with you.
Nope. Haven't seen her.
... Thom
þ ù11-09ù00:27ù <product_improvement> ::= ùThomùLittleùAssociatesù
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER
To: THOM LITTLE
Subject: TRAVELS WITH ALICE ...
I am working on a merge of two lists of records which must then
be used for a page-up, page-dn. Not much fun. Maybe I'll just skip
it for today. I'm sure Alice would do all sorts of charts and
pseudo-pseudo code. Maybe that's the answer. I have the stub headers
in place anyway. Maybe I'll just take it One Procedure at a Time.
From: THOM LITTLE
To: PETER NEUENDORFFER
Subject: travels with alice ...
Peter:
Alice has been hanging around some. She was out running with me on
Sundeay for the last long run of the year. She'd do a few miles and
then sit down under a tree. I'd continue on and see her under a new
tree further up the course. She'd run a dfew miles and then rest
again.
I asked her if she wanted to go to Dallas with me. She said in her
typical and completly logical manner, "Dallas?"
Well, I still don't know if she wasnt to go but I checked with American
Airlines. I asked if I could book a seat for her. They said, "Sure."
I said, "How much?" They said, "Free." I said, "How come?" They
said, "During the month of December, all ficitional characters are
allowed to ride free on all flights." (This even includes Major Major
Major, Gatsby, Mad Hatter, and Carpenter [if published].)
So ... I'll let you know what she decides ... when she tells me (or
perhaps she'll tell you first).
... Thom
þ ù11-26ù22:36ù <product_improvement> ::= ùThomùLittleùAssociatesù
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER
To: THOM LITTLE
Subject: TRAVELS WITH ALICE ...
That's great that Alice gets free air travel. Are you really
going to turn to the Steward(ess) and order a meal for her?
For that matter she could fit in a laptop.
Isn't there a story somewhere in childhood about the Hare and
the Tortoise. Slow and steady wins the race? But maybe that would
be a breach of contract for Alice.
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER
To: THOM LITTLE
Subject: TRAVELS WITH ALICE ...
I am working on a merge of two lists of records which must then
be used for a page-up, page-dn. Not much fun. Maybe I'll just skip
it for today. I'm sure Alice would do all sorts of charts and
pseudo-pseudo code. Maybe that's the answer. I have the stub headers
in place anyway. Maybe I'll just take it One Procedure at a Time.
From: THOM LITTLE
To: PETER NEUENDORFFER
Subject: TRAVELS WITH ALICE ...
Peter:
Alice has decided to go to Dallas. I'll let you know what it's like to
travel with her.
To: PETER NEUENDORFFER
Subject: TRAVELS WITH ALICE ...
Peter:
Alice has decided to go to Dallas. I'll let you know what it's like to
travel with her.
... Thom
þ ù12-02ù18:59ù <product_improvement> ::= ùThomùLittleùAssociatesù
From: THOM LITTLE
To: PETER NEUENDORFFER
Subject: TRAVELS WITH ALICE ...
Peter:
PN>I wonder how old she is-
Nineteen (she says) one hundred and five (based on her demonstrated
intellegence and expretise).
... Thom
þ ù12-10ù20:42ù <product_improvement> ::= ùThomùLittleùAssociatesù
To: PETER NEUENDORFFER
Subject: TRAVELS WITH ALICE ...
Peter:
PN> At this time of year when our thoughts turn to family, I asked
PN>Alice why she never talks about her family. She says, oh there
PN>are so many of them I don't know where to start.
We're all her family
---
I stuffed runners' packets all Saturday afternoon for the Bill Rodgers
Jingle Bell Run. Alice was, of course, nowhere to be found. Didn't
see her all day.
It was pretty quite in Quincy Market on Saturday. Not many people were
venturing out after the little storm that hit Boston. The people
driving in from the south had a lot of harrowing tales to tell.
Everyone agreed that it was a good day for a run.
---
I went to the run/party today and it was a lot of fun. Alice showed up
for the run. She didn't feel like running so she rode next to santa in
his sleigh. I imagine that if you check the 11PM news youll see her
sitting there waving to her many loyal subjects.
I tell you Peter, there is nothing quite like running through the
streets of Boston on a winter's evening with 4000 other people wearing
bells and costumes shouting and singing.
Nifty idea. They, by the way, gave the Special Olympics a check for
$90,000 tonight.
... Thom
þ ù12-13ù22:40ù <product_improvement> ::= ùThomùLittleùAssociatesù
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER
To: THOM LITTLE
Subject: TRAVELS WITH ALICE ...
The Jingle Bell Run sounds rewarding. Were you in costume also?
I've been complaining about the cold, it never occured to me that
some people were running. My favorite part of the weather is
finally getting home and toasty warm.
From: THOM LITTLE
To: PETER NEUENDORFFER
Subject: ALICE AT THE TOY STORE
Peter:
PN>... Alice says she's going to spend Christmas
PN>with you. Is that what she told you?
She never showed up around Christmas. She mumbles something about
Hawaii the last time I saw her. That was a few days ago. ... oh ...
HELLO PETER ... THIS IS ALICE ... DID YOU HAVE A GOOD CHRISTMAS? ...
DID YOU ENJOY THE PIECE OF COAL I LEFT IN YOUR STOCKING (SHOE ACTUALLY
SINCE YOU HAD NO STICKING) ...
I WENT TO HAWAII FOR THE HOLIDAYS ... IT WAS BEUTIFUL ... THE AIRFARE
WAS GREAT ... AMERICAN AIRLINES WAS STILL HAVING THEIR SPECIAL FOR
FICTIONAL CHARACTERS ...
THE PACIFIC WAS SOOOOOO BLUE THAT I DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE IT ...
Alice. please give me back my keyboard ... you can go visit Peter at
any time.
By the way Alice, did you go alone?
---
I'm sitting here working away with Leonar Cohen's new CD playing in the
background. Very tasty.
... Thom
þ ù12-27ù01:45ù <product_improvement> ::= ùThomùLittleùAssociatesù
From: THOM LITTLE
To: PETER NEUENDORFFER
Subject: ALICE AT THE TOY STORE
Peter:
PN>... Alice says she's going to spend Christmas
PN>with you. Is that what she told you?
She never showed up around Christmas. She mumbles something about
Hawaii the last time I saw her. That was a few days ago. ... oh ...
HELLO PETER ... THIS IS ALICE ... DID YOU HAVE A GOOD CHRISTMAS? ...
DID YOU ENJOY THE PIECE OF COAL I LEFT IN YOUR STOCKING (SHOE ACTUALLY
SINCE YOU HAD NO STICKING) ...
I WENT TO HAWAII FOR THE HOLIDAYS ... IT WAS BEUTIFUL ... THE AIRFARE
WAS GREAT ... AMERICAN AIRLINES WAS STILL HAVING THEIR SPECIAL FOR
FICTIONAL CHARACTERS ...
THE PACIFIC WAS SOOOOOO BLUE THAT I DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE IT ...
Alice. please give me back my keyboard ... you can go visit Peter at
any time.
By the way Alice, did you go alone?
---
I'm sitting here working away with Leonar Cohen's new CD playing in the
background. Very tasty.
... Thom
---
þ ù12-27ù01:45ù <product_improvement> ::= ùThomùLittleùAssociatesù
... Thom
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER
To: THOM LITTLE
Subject: ALICE AT THE TOY STORE
Well, I'm glad you heard from her. That Pacific ocean sounds great.
LL Bean was good to me this year, and I had a nice quiet time with my
parents. I've giving up explaining Alice to them long ago.
I thought I saw Alice in Copley buying flowers on Christmas
Day. Guess it was just someone looking like her. So much to be grateful
for, not the least being the heat in my apartment.
Tommorow the painters come to paint my apartment; I wouldn't be
surprised if Alice is one of them.
On Christmas eve we watched Diana Ross with two operatic tenors-
and odd combination, but a great concert. I thought I spotted someone in
the orchestra- Alice- playing cello, but it must have just been someone
who looked like her. Did I ever tell you that Alice plays the cello?
þ ù12-27ù01:46ù <product_improvement> ::= ùThomùLittleùAssociatesù
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER
To: THOM LITTLE
Subject: ALICE AT THE TOY STORE
Well, I'm glad you heard from her. That Pacific ocean sounds great.
LL Bean was good to me this year, and I had a nice quiet time with my
parents. I've giving up explaining Alice to them long ago.
I thought I saw Alice in Copley buying flowers on Christmas
Day. Guess it was just someone looking like her. So much to be grateful
for, not the least being the heat in my apartment.
Tommorow the painters come to paint my apartment; I wouldn't be
surprised if Alice is one of them.
On Christmas eve we watched Diana Ross with two operatic tenors-
and odd combination, but a great concert. I thought I spotted someone in
the orchestra- Alice- playing cello, but it must have just been someone
who looked like her. Did I ever tell you that Alice plays the cello?
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER
To: THOM LITTLE
Subject: ZIP
Hi, Thom. I was wondering, should I do future uploads with
a zip made by 2.0? Is 110 rendered obsolete? Alice is still looking
for a job; I'm going into transitional employment: back to work in '93.
Hope you had nice holidays. This 62 degree weather is bizarre, don't
you think?
From: THOM LITTLE
To: PETER NEUENDORFFER
Subject: ZIP
Peter:
PN>... should I do future uploads with a zip made by 2.0?
I wouldn't push it. The transition will take a while. Sometime over
the next month, most people will convert.
I'm still waiting for my registered version to show up and my NEW
authentication code. The old code does not work with the new PKZIP.
The checker in Channel1 rejected a ZIP that contained a version 2
authentication code.
It will take a while.
PN>I'm going into transitional employment: back to work in '93.
Congratulations!
PN>Hope you had nice holidays.
My brother came for a visit. We developed an Access database while he
was here. A lot of fun.
PN>This 62 degree weather is bizarre, don't you think?
I like to wear shorts when I run. I never wear tights. I wear
all-weather pants when it gets dangerous for shorts.
I was in an all-weather running suit on Sunday AFTERNOON because of the
cold and wind. I was in a tee shirt and shorts Monday NIGHT!
I Love it!
Alice joined me Monday. "Now THIS is running weather," she told me.
... Thom
þ ù01-05ù21:31ù <product_improvement> ::= ùThomùLittleùAssociatesù
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER
To: THOM LITTLE
Subject: ZIP
Glad you had a a fun holiday. It is more seasonable today, Wednesday,
but it must have been nice running on Monday for you. Please ;;tell;;
Alice to run all the way, and stop teleporting! My electrical
bill is showing a sharp increase since she's been jumping the
ether all the time.
From: THOM LITTLE
To: PETER NEUENDORFFER
Subject: ZIP
Peter:
PN>... Please ;;tell;;
PN>Alice to run all the way, and stop teleporting! My electrical
PN>bill is showing a sharp increase since she's been jumping the
PN>ether all the time.
I told her ... as if that ever made a difference ...
... Thom
þ ù01-08ù00:56ù <product_improvement> ::= ùThomùLittleùAssociatesù
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER
To: THOM LITTLE
Subject: ZIP
Flags: Read
I have a style question. I saw a post from a real Alice, and am won-
dering if you think if our [fictional] Alice might want to change
her name.
Trivial question: what happens if you use the online editor to change a
phrase that has ; in it?
By the way, I found a really interesting bug in one of my programs
(fixed it of course). It seems that I checked the first letters
of a menu to compare it to keypressed by the user. The problem was
that I checked 2 more items than the length of the menu. It turns
out that it was executed thus leading to lots of garbage on the
screen. I guess out of range array checking can be a bit of a pain.
From: THOM LITTLE
To: PETER NEUENDORFFER
Subject: ... Alice ...
Peter:
PN>I have a style question. I saw a post from a real Alice, and am won-
PN>dering if you think if our [fictional] Alice might want to change
PN>her name.
WHAT!!! ARE YOU NUTS!!!
PN>Trivial question: what happens if you use the online editor to change a
PN>phrase that has ; in it?
I don't know. I never use it.
---
Alice is looking over my shoulder. She is not real happy with you at
the moment. She's pouting slightly. "Imaginary" is a concept that she
isn't prepared to deal with. A possible name change just plain hacked
her off.
... Thom
þ ù01-08ù20:18ù <product_improvement> ::= ùThomùLittleùAssociatesù
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER
To: THOM LITTLE
Subject: ... ALICE ...
Well, tell Alice it is all in your point of view. Who will be master,
you or the word. [Lewis Carroll]
I guess I'm too rough on Alice regarding her status in reality.
Anyhow, nice weather we're having, isn't it? I hear it will snow
tonight.
Peter: NEUENDORFFER
To: THOM LITTLE
Subject: PKZ SWITCHES?
Flags: Read
Thanks, Thom. While I'm at it, what is DPMI?
Alice is out making a snowman in the woods. This is something new
for her, and I hope it takes her mind off her new job as city planner.
Sometimes you just gotta say "I'm off for the day, leave a message
on my desk when you go" or words to that effect. I can see her out
my window, she is building a very large snowman. She is waving
me out there, but I just got home.
From: THOM LITTLE
To: PETER NEUENDORFFER
Subject: PKZ SWITCHES?
Peter:
PN>Thanks, Thom. While I'm at it, what is DPMI?
Information from Microsoft ...
The MS-DOS protected mode interface (DPMI) specification is available
free of charge by calling Intel Corporation at (800) 548-4725.
International customers can obtain the DPMI Specification by
contacting the Intel sales office that serves their country.
The DPMI specification was defined to allow an MS-DOS program to
access the extended memory provided by a PC architecture computer
while maintaining system protection. DPMI defines a specific subset of
MS-DOS and BIOS calls that can be made by protected mode MS-DOS
programs. It also defines a new interface through software Interrupt
31h, which protected mode programs can use to allocate memory, modify
selectors, call real mode software, and so forth.
PN>Alice is out making a snowman in the woods. This is something new
PN>for her, and I hope it takes her mind off her new job as city planner.
That's it! Alice as Boston City Planner! Now it all makes sense! The
street layouts, the cobblestones ONLY in the crosswalks where people walk,
the efficiency of the Green Line (dotted green line?) ...
... now it all makes sense.
... Thom
--- þ WinQwk 2.0b#0 þ Unregistered Evaluation Copy
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER
To: THOM LITTLE
Subject: PKZ SWITCHES?
Well, I didn't get a flag on your message, but got it anyway.
Alice is currently deciding on a place for the new sports arena. She
is checking out a few backyards, being careful to avoid the attack
dogs. She feels a shuffleboard court should be included, a knitting
room, and a skateboard park.
From: THOM LITTLE
To: PETER NEUENDORFFER
Subject: PKZ SWITCHES?
Peter:
PN>Alice is currently deciding on a place for the new sports arena. She
PN>is checking out a few backyards, being careful to avoid the attack
PN>dogs.
That figures. I bet she'll choose some really great spot, like Post
Office Square.
... Thom
--- þ WinQwk 2.0b#0 þ Unregistered Evaluation Copy
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER
To: THOM LITTLE
Subject: PKZ SWITCHES?
She is considering the air rights of the Mass Turnpike. I pointed
out that that would make a narrow play area. She said, not if
the road became a 20 lane highway. I can't believe I just wrote this.
From: THOM LITTLE
To: PETER NEUENDORFFER
Subject: Our ALice
Peter:
PN>She is considering the air rights of the Mass Turnpike. I pointed
PN>out that that would make a narrow play area. She said, not if
PN>the road became a 20 lane highway. I can't believe I just wrote this.
It all makes perfect sense to me.
... Thom
---
þ WinQwk 2.0b#0 þ Unregistered Evaluation Copy
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER
To: GEORGE MEALY
Subject: PKZ SWITCHES?
Well, I'm reading the Bear by William Faulkner, and finding
what real prose is about. After two years, Alice becomes a little
more solid. However, I've noticed that although I report her comings
and goings, and her comments to me, I am not always listening.
She's reading over my shoulder. We are both waiting to receive my
Balloon Bouquet from the radio station.
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER
To: THOM LITTLE
Subject: ME AND ALICE IN A PLAY
It was three hours before dawn. Reminded me of one dawn I had
never seen and probably never will, except for now stumbling down
the dark steps. Not light from the full moon when the rocket men
would make one small step for mankind. Alice was in the kitchen as
I came in, buttoning up my long underwear. She was stirring, as if
in fact she had always been stirring a large pot of what looked
for all the world like lard over the dying fire. As the freight
train I had once rode whistled by the kitchen window, I heard
Alice mutter "What did I do to deserve this?" But she always talked
to herself these days, ever since she had bought the personal
stereo at the nearest town 1000 miles away. The freight train
whistled by with the caboose as I sat down above the floorboards
below which the cats catterwawled, mourning the soon to pass
night. "What's for breakfast" I asked, timidly enough, I thought.
"Lard", said Alice, probably talking to herself.
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER
To: MITCH FELDHANDLER
Subject: PKZ SWITCHES?
I saw first-hand the turnstile atop Star Island (10 mi. off of
Portsmouth) to keep the sheep in. I remember watching the first-run
(underline) episodes of The Honeymooners as well as I love Lucy.
I remember seeing Senator McCarthey being carted off the floor
of congress. Maybe it's a little soon to write my memoirs.
Oh yeas, the Howdy Doody Show. I saw Clinton get inaugerated today
complete with cornball camera work from ABC. A famous poet-
I don't know her name- read a great poem ending pointedly with
"Good Morning".
From: THOM LITTLE
To: PETER NEUENDORFFER
PN>"What's for breakfast" I asked, timidly enough, I thought.
PN>"Lard", said Alice, probably talking to herself.
She continued stirring. I then noticed that she was not talking to
herself. She was, in fact, talking to me.
Lard is what she was preparing for dinner.
It was clear to me that either Alice had totally lost her mind or else
this was not the Alice that I knew. Either she was crazy or this was a
substitute Alice who had somehow taken the place of the real Alice.
I sat at the table and stared at my bowl of lard. "Eat, eat!, eat!!" said
'the Alice.'
I sat and stared and pondered what I would do next. And ... as I sat
there, a "hole" opened in the air about two inches above the table. As I
looked in this "hole" I could see the sun just setting over a strange and
forbidding landscape "inside."
The "hole" got larger. It enveloped the entire table.
I got up and took a step towards it ... 'the Alice' continued to chatter
away to/at me.
A strange animal appeared within the "hole" ... I started chasing it ...
and ... as I crosse the foreign landscape I turned to see 'the Alice'
still stirring the pot of lard on the stove and chattering.
The strange animal turned to me and with an expression that was not
totally unkind it seemed to smile.
I continued on with the knowledge that it nothing else, at least I wasn't
forced to eat the bowl of lard.
ALice appeared next to the strange animal. She smiled that smile of hers
and said, "what's for dinner Thom?"
þ WinQwk 2.0b#0 þ Unregistered Evaluation Copy
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER
To: THOM LITTLE
Subject: ME AND ALICE IN A PLAY
But the beast had never been killed before, and it was not time for
you to kill it, even if you could, which you can't. So you and this
substitute Alice found your way back through the hole, at once amber
and purple to Monochromeland,landing with a thud on my breakfast
of what was surely oatmeal. Act I curtain.
From: THOM LITTLE
To: PETER NEUENDORFFER
Subject: ME AND ALICE IN A PLAY
.. intermiussion ...
... Thom
þ WinQwk 2.0 a#804 þ <product_improvement> ::= Thom Little Associates
From: THOM LITTLE
To: PETER NEUENDORFFER
Subject: ME AND ALICE IN A PLAY
PN> All the actors are changing and the scene will be set for
PN>the grand finale.
Nope ... it's just the end of the first act ... after the intermission
comes the second act.
PN> What's new with you? Did you run in all that rain last week?
I worked too much overtime last week. By the time I finished on running
days it was too late, too cold, too wet, and ultimately too dangerous to
go
running.
The sun is out now ... it's 50+ outside ... I'm on my way out the door.
... Thom
þ WinQwk 2.0 a#804 þ <product_improvement> ::= Thom Little Associates
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER
To: THOM LITTLE
Subject: ME AND ALICE IN A PLAY
I went to visit some friends on the Red Line today- got out of
the house! So you're working a lot of hours. Hope you had a
good run today.
From: THOM LITTLE
To: PETER NEUENDORFFER
Subject: ME AND ALICE IN A PLAY
Peter:
I got started at 4 PM. It was a beautiful day. I ran a little faster
then normal. Alice was with me. She seemed to enjoy the day. She was
happy that my pace was faster. It still was not up to her pace. She hung
around for a little while and then took off like a shot.
I've not seen her since 4:15. Did she show up at your place?
(me and alice in a play is correct english ... you always list the real
part before the imaginary part.)
... Thom
---
þ WinQwk 2.0 a#804 þ <product_improvement> ::= Thom Little Associates
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER
To: THOM LITTLE
Subject: ME AND ALICE IN A PLAY
Glad you had a good run. I didn't see Alice that night, or
since. No, wait, she's on the line now. Hold on...............
.......................................She says hi. She's been
at work making up balloon bunches. She says she's actually
right around the corner from you. Can't think of anything to
say [that's a switch].....
|OLX$SOM|
BBS: CHANNEL1
Conference: 0,Main Board
Number: 162791
Reply-to: 162717
Private: No
Receipt: No
Date: 1993-01-25,18:17
From: THOM LITTLE
To: PETER NEUENDORFFER
Subject: ME AND ALICE IN A PLAY
Flags: Read
PN>... She says she's actually
PN>right around the corner from you. Can't think of anything to
PN>say [that's a switch]...
That was her little joke. I just got back from Washington. She was in
the lobby of the airport selling Clinton memorabilia. All of it was
largely forgettable. I didn't see any balloons.
That's apparently what she meant by "right around the corner."
... Thom
þ WinQwk 2.0 a#804 þ <product_improcvement> ::= Thom Little Associates
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER
To: THOM LITTLE
Subject: ME AND ALICE IN A PLAY
And how are things in the windy city? My favorite as a tourist was
the Air and Space museum, with the Botanical Gardens as a close
second. There is a story about a train falling through the floor
of Union Station during an inauguration, but I really don't have
the whole story.
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER
To: THOM LITTLE
Subject: US AND ALICE IN A PLAY
Regarding our conversation of the last two years, is intermission
over yet? Actually I'm kind of enjoying the rest from it. How are
things with you? Not much happening here. I chip away at things with
MBTA program, but refrain from uploading the "upload of the week".
How is your Procomm for Windows? I recall a while back someone was
having a tough time with it. I await unbiased- is any story
ever unbiased- information on the raiding of the formerly 3rd largest
board in the country. I know my company is not complaining about
the situation, because it is Shareware. Did you see the Newsweek
or was it Time cover article on Cyberpunks? Yecch.
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER
To: THOM LITTLE
Subject: ALICE IN FUNNY PAPERS
I came in today after a long morning on the street, and there
is Alice, eyes glued to the computer screen. "Whatja doon", I
asked.
Alice beamed up at me and said, " I'm reading the bulletin board."
"Oh? What's new?" "Nothing much" "Like what, Alice?"
"Same old stuff, some other bbs got the can, people are still
talking about censuring the nightly news, and some guy says
that the right to vote should be a priviledge". "Sounds lively,"
I quipped. "Why don't you read the funny papers or something".
Alice replied, "Are you kidding? This IS the funny papers."
---All opinions expreesed are not neccesarily those of anyone.
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER
To: THOM LITTLE
Subject: LAST 2 MINUTES
Alice is holding up a cue card "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN, THOM".
Hope all is well with you, and hope to see you sometime soon [see=
email here]. Alice is in much better spirits, and has decided to
keep out of bbs polotics for the meanwhile.
|OLX$SOM|
BBS: CHANNEL1
Conference: 0,Main Board
Number: 166673
Reply-to: 165875
Private: No
Receipt: No
Date: 1993-02-14,23:45
From: THOM LITTLE
To: PETER NEUENDORFFER
Subject: LAST 2 MINUTES
Flags: Read
Peter:
PN>Alice is holding up a cue card "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN, THOM".
I've been working long. It is still going on. I'm getting a little tired
of it.
PN>Hope all is well with you, and hope to see you sometime soon [see=
PN>email here]. Alice is in much better spirits, and has decided to
PN>keep out of bbs politics for the meanwhile.
She went running with me last Monday. She seemed to enjoy it. For the
first time she didn't sprint off in a flash. Instead, she ran along with
me for the full 7.3 miles. At the end she said "Oh, so that's what it's
all about." and then she disappeared in a blink.
Some things always change ...
... Thom
þ WinQwk 2.0b#804 þ <product_improvement> ::= Thom Little Associates
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER
To: THOM LITTLE
Subject: LAST 2 MINUTES
A> At the end she said "Oh, so that's what it's all about."
Did you know, Alice found an uninitialized variable for me the
other night in the fridge. We cooked it up with pasta and it was
great.
She is out running at the moment. I saw her from the window
of the donut shop where I was trying to eat three donuts (three
for a dollar), but could only eat two.
I fell on the ice the other night. Alice was very nice giving
me advice to "keep it clean" and "you don't have anything broken
or you would be screaming" and other friendly advice.
Alice is considering washing dishes for 16 hours a week.
What do you think? She feels a low-stress job would help her
get back in the work force. I told her she was over-qualified,
but she is gung ho on this undertaking.
Hope your work diminishes. I've tried just powering down the
computer, but sooner or later, I turn it back on again.
From: THOM LITTLE
To: PETER NEUENDORFFER
Subject: LAST 2 MINUTES
Peter:
PN> Did you know, Alice found an uninitialized variable for me the
PN>other night in the fridge. We cooked it up with pasta and it was
PN>great.
Great! Stay away from those initialized variables thought ... they're
killers ... The cause gas.
PN> I fell on the ice the other night. Alice was very nice giving
PN>me advice to "keep it clean" and "you don't have anything broken
PN>or you would be screaming" and other friendly advice.
That was very nice of her. It doesn;t seem to fit. What is she up to
now?
I fell on Sunday. I was running up one of those three step things in the
running path and stubbed my toe on the top step. I hit the ground rolling
and I though geesh ... I'm on the ground as I continues to roll over onto
my feet ... got up .. and ran the last mile home. No apparent damage to
anything.
Weird.
PN>... She feels a low-stress job would help her
PN>get back in the work force.
I pulled KP once when I was in the Army. Another "volunteer" and I were
assigned to washing the dishes. Take it from me Peter, washing dishes is
definitely not a low-stress job (in the Army at any rate).
PN> Hope your work diminishes. I've tried just powering down the
PN>computer, but sooner or later, I turn it back on again.
I finished one major project that I'd been working on for two months. I
still have about seven more to complete by March 17. It is going to be a
rather long month.
To relax I'm studying C++. It is rather nice. It adds some great
features to C and provides solutions to some of C's major deficiencies.
... Thom
þ WinQwk 2.0b#804 þ <product_improvement> ::= Thom Little Associates
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER
To: THOM LITTLE
Subject: LAST 2 MINUTES
Oh, I forgot to say, Alice has been reading a lot, and is going
down to get a social security card- that should be interesting,
since she doesn't exist.
From: THOM LITTLE
To: PETER NEUENDORFFER
Subject: LAST 2 MINUTES
Peter:
PN> Oh, I forgot to say, Alice has been reading a lot, and is going
PN>down to get a social security card- that should be interesting,
PN>since she doesn't exist.
Interesting. Is she feeling socially insecure?
... Thom
þ WinQwk 2.0b#804 þ <product_improvement> ::= Thom Little Associates
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER
To: THOM LITTLE
Subject: LAST 2 MINUTES
>Is she feeling socialy insecure?
Alice is quite secure, but I'm not- after I read the GLobe article
about a new sex survey. I believe it said 11% of population reported
having sex on a daily basis.
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER
To: THOM LITTLE
Subject: SHOWDOWN AT JOHNNY'S
Hi, Thom. Let me know if I've been posting too much (leave myself
wide open). Alice is writing a teleplay for Ted T. and showed me
the trailer. What do you think? Following by Alice:
[announcer in serious tones over kettle drums in background]
"Conssider this. Little Johnny is happily calling up another
computer on his home computer that he saved soda pop bottle
returns to buy. A loud knock at the door.
[Alice's mother]:Johnny dear see who's at the door,....
...when suddenly....
Door broken open. "FREEZE! says a small man. WE ARE FROM
THE SHAREWARE PROGRAM POLICE. We have reason [drowned out
by kettle drums and sounds of screaming from Johnny's mother.
"But what did I do?" asks Johnny. "We have reason to believe
you are using Shareware beyond the free trial basis.
...entire contents of livingroom taken out door
[announcer]:"You decide. Was Johnny treated unfairly????
Find out as it's time to play
COMPUTER COURT!! [up kettle drums]
From: THOM LITTLE
To: PETER NEUENDORFFER
Subject: SHOWDOWN AT JOHNNY'S
Peter:
PN> [announcer in serious tones ...
PN> COMPUTER COURT!! [up kettle drums]
Seems totally reasonable to me ... but ... loose the drum.
... Thom
þ WinQwk 2.0b#804 þ <product_improvement> ::= Thom Little Associates
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER
To: THOM LITTLE
Subject: SHOWDOWN AT JOHNNY'S
>loose the kettle drum.
Not even a fife and drum corps?
From: THOM LITTLE
To: PETER NEUENDORFFER
Subject: ... ALICE SNEAKING ...
Peter:
With regards to Alice ...
It's still February (logical February). She needs time to repair. Let
her wash dishes for a while. She can start running things again in the
spring.
... Thom
þ WinQwk 2.0b#804 þ <product_improvement> ::= Thom Little Associates
From: THOM LITTLE
To: PETER NEUENDORFFER
Subject: ... ALICE SNEAKING ...
Peter:
PN>... She is also writing an autobiography
PN>including all the rich and famous people on the block.
Tell her to take the rest of the month off. February is a dangerous time
to be starting any new endeavor.
By the way ... who's autobiography is she writing? (Interesting concept
isn't it?)
... Thom
--- þ WinQwk 2.0b#804 þ <product_improvement> ::= Thom Little Associates
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER
To: THOM LITTLE
Subject: ... ALICE SNEAKING ...
Interesting concept isn't it? <TL
Well, her own, I suppose. It goes back quite a few years, as would
mine. I can remember going to New York via the Boston Post Road,
but that's another story. No, really, Alice wants to balence off the
diswashing job (starts this week) with an artistic endeavor. She is
writing it in my Turbo Pascal endeavor, so I get to read it. I suggested
that "Call me Alice" was a bit too cute to start off. This message
is a C- at best. Oh well.
From: THOM LITTLE
To: PETER NEUENDORFFER
Subject: ... ALICE SNEAKING ...
Peter:
PN>"Call me Alice"
Why ... prey tell?
... Thom
þ WinQwk 2.0b#804 þ <product_improvement> ::= Thom Little Associates
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER
To: THOM LITTLE
Subject: ... ALICE SNEAKING ...
It was a lame joke Call me Alice = Call me Ishmael (Moby Dick).
Anyhow, hot enough for you? Alice tells me that walking on the
moon is a picnic compared to walking around the sidewalks of Boston.
She is coming along with the book and has almost finished the
Forward. excerpt:
"For many years now, my friends have been asking me where I
originally came from, and up until now, I was not sure how to reply.
If I bypass the obvious biological answer, I would have to say it
all started about two years ago when Peter misread a message from
his friend Thom. Although of course, I was full grown by then, my
experiences with Massachusetts had been limited to classifieds in
the Observer. On the invitiation of Thom, I was transported at great
expense to the offices of Messrs. Brian and Tess..."
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER
To: THOM LITTLE
Subject: ... ALICE SNEAKING ...
But how accurate were the UFO people in their description of him?
The enquiring mind wants to know. Honest.
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER
To: L
Subject: ...alice sneaking...
Alice has left this galaxy off the ecliptic into parts as yet
undiscovered by television or Newsweek.
Many people ask after her, but I have not heard a peep from her.
She left her house in Cambridge to me, and a small fortune in
a Swiss bank account, which I am unable to claim as I am on
Social Security. She will be sorely missed by the ballet
and astronomical communities alike. She was a tribute to her
phylum, and I am sure that somewhere somewhow, she is working
to reduce the deficit. [I know this is a bit incoherent,
but it's an incoherent kind of week here.]
To: PETER NEUENDORFFER
From: THOM LITTLE
Re: How've you been?
Peter:
PN> When I say I'm "ok" that's
PN>when I'm not. I'm still writing, and working with user-supplied
PN>record definition. I wanted to get the file to point to a
PN>specific field, but the denseness of the code just doesn't send me.
PN>'m getting line noise for some reason, so I'll await your
PN>response. I've been walking a lot lately- one long walk a day,
PN>and have lost 10 pounds last month by doing that.
How are you doing?
I saw alice a few (six?) weeks ago. She said,"Thom you're boring. All
you want to do is work. I'll see you around. I'll stop back when you
return to 'normal'."
I haven't seen her since.
On the other hand, I haven't seen much of anything else either. I finally
looked out the window and noticed that Summer seems to have gone away.
... Thom
þ WinQwk 2.0b#804 þ <product_improvement> ::= Thom Little Associates
<*>
To: THOM LITTLE
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER
Re: How've you been?
I'm doing ok. I'm making ends meet; just. Having recovered from
low-level reading of a string and truncating it, finally blah blah,
I released my new program. I have not heard from Bill and Phillipe
on it yet, but I am sure it is just a matter of time.
I got some e-mail from Alice from Alice@Andromeda. I am surprised
you saw her, as she jetted out of the galaxy some time ago. Must
be a quantum abnormality in her location. Her message was breezy
(included a real breeze) and she told me not to work too much as
well. She says she will be here soon, as she must check into
the Rest Home in Vermont in time for the fall foliage. Yes Summer
has passed, and I read in the Globe that the Columbia Pictures lady
(you know the one that holds the torch in thee beginning of their
movies?) has lost a lot of weight. I have not lost a lot of weight.
I am waiting for my friend to come over for Sunday afternoon, but
still no word.
<*>
To: PETER NEUENDORFFER
From: THOM LITTLE
Re: How've you been?
Peter:
PN>I got some e-mail from Alice from Alice@Andromeda. I am surprised
PN>you saw her, as she jetted out of the galaxy some time ago. Must
PN>be a quantum abnormality in her location.
No wonder I haven't run into her (she was hanging out over here almost
every day in the Spring. Summer came and Alice went (somewhere).
Do you have any idea when she'll be back? ... that's a stupid question ...
this is Alice after all ... let me put it this way ... Did she say when
she wads going to start inflicting her presence on us again?
... Thom
þ WinQwk 2.0b#804 þ <product_improvement> ::= Thom Little Associates
<*>
To: THOM LITTLE
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER
Re: How've you been?
Alice is supposed to be back soon. She is due to land on
Appledore Island tonight, with no assist from Umberto Ecco or
John LeCarre. It would be nice if she could get an account on
Channel One, but I think you have to be a real person to get
an account. Although I guess Egghead has an account, and they
are not a real person. If Alice can get the late plane from
Portsmouth Rickenbacker Airlines, she should be here in time
for Letterman. She promises to bring me some gifts which she
says are out of this world. Will she be staying at your place,
or shall I break out the Army blankets?
<*>
To: THOM LITTLE
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER
Re: she's back
Hi, Thom. Well, till the end of the road I feel Misty with a little
help from Alice. She is here, and has brought me a care package
from Andromeda. I asked her what kind of stars they have out there
and she said "Oh, you know, just the usual whirl". Well.
She brought a Pizza from somewhere or other, a gallon of frozen yogurt
she assures me was made in an ice cloud. This is lame. Oh well, you
asked for it. She sends her love to you all, and is dressed in the
most outrageous rainbow plastic outfit I have ever seen her in. We
are trying to de-gauss her and the neighbors are complaining about
strange sounds coming out of their televisions. Alice also brought
several expandable items, including a bedroom set that compresses
into your vest pocket, and a contraption that is supposed to make
it possible to e-mail Gap T shirts.
<*>
To: PETER NEUENDORFFER
From: THOM LITTLE
Re: she's back
Peter:
PN>We are trying to de-gauss her and the neighbors are complaining about
PN>strange sounds coming out of their televisions. Alice also brought
PN>several expandable items, including a bedroom set that compresses
PN>into your vest pocket, and a contraption that is supposed to make
PN>it possible to e-mail Gap T shirts.
Well ... it's quiet in my house tonight. The television blew out. It
happened at 9:57 tonight. It's obvious that Alice is back in town. It's
also pretty clear that she was in the old West End around 9:57.
Oh well ... I guess the damned thing was getting too much use anyway.
Even with the blown TV she has still not materialized. It's not like I
said anything bad to her before she went away.
Hmmm ... it sure is pleasantly quiet here tonight.
... Thom
þ WinQwk 2.0b#804 þ <product_improvement> ::= Thom Little Associates
<*>
To: THOM LITTLE
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER
Re: she's back
Well, she may be there without you knowing it. Have you checked
the West Wing? She also may have gotten waylaid up on Capitol Hill
playing poker. If I see her I'll ask her why she is not visiting
you. My television has been in the closet for over a year. I'm sorry
to here yours blew up. I'm sure with proper therapy my television
will someday come out of the closet. Maybe she is down at
Waterfront park on the yacht.
<*>
From: THOM LITTLE
To: PETER NEUENDORFFER
Subject: she's back
Peter:
PN>Well, she may be there without you knowing it. Have you checked
PN>the West Wing? She also may have gotten waylaid up on Capitol Hill
PN>playing poker. If I see her I'll ask her why she is not visiting
PN>you. My television has been in the closet for over a year. I'm sorry
PN>to here yours blew up. I'm sure with proper therapy my television
PN>will someday come out of the closet. Maybe she is down at
PN>Waterfront park on the yacht.
She called tonight. She has not gone anywhere near the yacht. In fact
when I asked her about it she said it was a figment of your imagination.
She did not say where she was calling from. I could tell it was a local
call.
She did not say when she planned to appear or really much of anything she
had been doing. Actually, for Alice, the conversaiton was ... well ...
almost secretive.
Do you have any idea what she is up to (this time)?
... Thom
þ WinQwk 2.0b#804 þ <product_improvement> ::= Thom Little Associates
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER
To: THOM LITTLE
Subject: she's back
She did say something about OS 3, but otherwise.... hmmmm. Oh yes,
she had a weather report system for extended forecasts. The usual
stuff. Just a sec, yes on the other line...
She just called to say she is leaving Channel One for another board.
Or she is bored and is leaving. I don't know. Alice version 3.0 seems
a little vague, don't you think?
From: THOM LITTLE
To: PETER NEUENDORFFER
Subject: she's back
Peter:
PN>... don't you think?
Now it's October ... still no word from Alice.
... Thom
þ WinQwk 2.0b#804 þ <product_improvement> ::= Thom Little Associates
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER
To: THOM LITTLE
Subject: Where are we in this day and age...
As one of the sane people here on Channel One, Alice wants to know
where you are. She has tried to call you, she tells me, but
she keeps getting the recording. I did find out why Alice is becoming
vague, wishy washy and uninteresting. It turns out that it is
low confidence problem. As the children of the world stop believing
in her, her certainty of position becomes less certain. She has
been stooping to pretending that Internet messages are about her,
and became entrapped in an FTP file site in Iceland for several days.
She tells me that she had wanted to revive the Neighborhood Nutcracker
ballet production, but was unable to stay in place long enough after
she rang people's doorbells.
Although this is not a chain letter appeal, Alice asks that everyone
believe in her at least once a week, or her personality will disappear
into the great Where Am I!
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER
To: L
Subject: Trees
Alice left today for Vermont. She is going to visit East Arlington,
where Norman Rockwell did painting. She shopped yesterday at Johnson's
Paints, and picked up every shade of red, orange, and yellow. She has
decided that this year she will use large canvases, and has settled
on billboard size. She is using a new type of applicator she got from
Andromeda, where you look at the subject, think about it, and the
paint appears on the canvas just so. She also bought several of those
rolls of film that double as cameras, and intends to give them out
to tourists who run out of film.
I am glad she is using paint again, as her minimilast shool approach
last year produced some pretty snow laden trees.
She originally had planned to paint the green leaves directly so as
to improve on nature, but I pointed out that this would not be good
for the trees. "Oh," she said "but it works on stars."
To: PETER NEUENDORFFER
From: THOM LITTLE
Re: Where are we in this day
Peter:
PN>ÿ@SUBJECT:Where are we in this day and age...
PN>As one of the sane people here on Channel One, Alice wants to know
PN>where you are. She has tried to call you, she tells me, but
PN>she keeps getting the recording. I did find out why Alice is becoming
PN>vague, wishy washy and uninteresting. It turns out that it is
PN>low confidence problem. As the children of the world stop believing
PN>in her, her certainty of position becomes less certain. She has
PN>been stooping to pretending that Internet messages are about her,
PN>and became entrapped in an FTP file site in Iceland for several days.
PN>She tells me that she had wanted to revive the Neighborhood Nutcracker
PN>ballet production, but was unable to stay in place long enough after
PN>she rang people's doorbells.
PN>Although this is not a chain letter appeal, Alice asks that everyone
PN>believe in her at least once a week, or her personality will disappear
PN>into the great Where Am I!
I sure don't know who you've been talking to. It wasn't Alice.
Alice finally showed up on Sunday. I was about 8 miles into my run when
she just appeared, "Hi Thom" she said (like she'd just seen me the day
before (and not nearly four months ago).
She was very quiet ... pensive really ... she ran along with me ... she
didn't even taunt me (they way she usually does) by proving that she can
run nearly twice as fast as I.
She got a little bored and then just sort of disappeared.
Later (around 18 miles) I was really pretty sore. She just appeared again
and began chanting ... Seattle ... Seattle ... Seattle ... Seattle ...
Seattle ... Seattle ... Seattle ... Seattle ... Seattle ... Seattle ...
Seattle ... Seattle ... Seattle ... Seattle ... Seattle ... Seattle ...
Seattle ... Seattle ... Seattle ... Seattle ... Seattle ... Seattle ...
Seattle ... Seattle ... Seattle ... Seattle ... Seattle ... Seattle ...
Seattle ... Seattle ... Seattle ... Seattle ... Seattle ... Seattle ...
Seattle ... Seattle ... Seattle ... Seattle ... Seattle ... Seattle ...
each time my left foot struck the ground.
She seems pretty convinced that I am going to run Seattle this year. I'm
almost convinced that she's right.
So she kept this up until I got home. When I stopped and started to cool
down I turned away for a second and then she was gone again.
It's Monday night and I haven't seen her today. It was really pretty nice
of her to distract me when I was hitting the end of my run. Wherever
she's been, she's been growing some.
... Thom
þ WinQwk 2.0b#804 þ <product_improvement> ::= Thom Little Associates
<*>
To: THOM LITTLE
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER
Re: Where are we in this day
Well, Alice is definitely running. That is good to hear. I wonder
if she meant she is going to Seattle, or you are going to Seattle.
When is the race there?
I am not sure I live here anymore. The landlord is unwilling or, un-
believabely uwilling to put my offical name on the mail box. No name,
no mail.
<*>
To: L
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER
Re: Trees
Emotional impact for me is hard. I get so wrapped up in my own
problems- which are not even tangible- that I forget to observe
my surroundings. My idea of a great statue is (are) the ducklings
at the Boston Public Gardens. Part of the fun of watching the
statues is the little kids who sit on the ducks while mommy and
daddy take pictures and give directions as if it was a major motion
picture. Out in front of the house, the acorns strew the sidewalk,
often bonking the hoods of parked cars. I miss Alice, and what
makes it worse is I fear she prefers to spend more time with Thom
than with me. She has said that she finds my apartment boring. That
is a matter of her taste, not mine. My apartment is an island of
quiet with no tv, and the radio locked to our easy listening station
Magic Wmjx.
<*>
Origin: FOLDER__ - 0006 - Alice
To: PETER NEUENDORFFER
From: THOM LITTLE
Date: 10/09/93
Re: Where are we in this day
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Peter:
PN>Well, Alice is definitely running. That is good to hear. I wonder
PN>if she meant she is going to Seattle, or you are going to Seattle.
PN>When is the race there?
Seattle Marathon.
PN>I am not sure I live here anymore. The landlord is unwilling or, un-
PN>believably unwilling to put my official name on the mail box. No name,
PN>no mail.
What is your unofficial name?
... Thom
---
þ WinQwk 2.0b#804 þ <product_improvement> ::= Thom Little Associates
<*>
Origin: FOLDER__ - 0006 - Alice
To: THOM LITTLE
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER
Date: 10/09/93
Re: Where are we in this day
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>What is your unofficial name? Same as my official one. It seems
that some kind soul went into the post office and filled out a
change of address on me. Good thing I'm not paranoid.
Do you know where your winter coat is?
<*>
To: THOM LITTLE
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER
Subj: sweaters and shirts
I just got a truckload of sweaters and shirts delivered pre-paid
from L. L. Bean. I will be able to wear a different shirt and/or
sweater each day. There was a card enclosed. It said "Happy Birthday"
from Alice. Well my birthday is not until the 25th. Oops, it's
the doorbell.... She is here, and is still running. She keeps chanting
"Seattle" "Seattle".
To: PETER NEUENDORFFER
From: THOM LITTLE
Subj: Where are we in this day
Peter:
PN>Well, Alice is definitely running. That is good to hear. I wonder
PN>if she meant she is going to Seattle, or you are going to Seattle.
PN>When is the race there?
Seattle Marathon.
PN>I am not sure I live here anymore. The landlord is unwilling or, un-
PN>believably unwilling to put my official name on the mail box. No name,
PN>no mail.
What is your unofficial name?
... Thom
þ WinQwk 2.0b#804 þ <product_improvement> ::= Thom Little Associates
To: PETER NEUENDORFFER
From: THOM LITTLE
Subj: sweaters and shirts
Peter:
PN>... She is here, and is still running. She keeps chantin
PN>"Seattle" "Seattle".
She's got the right idea ... Go Alice!
... Thom
þ WinQwk 2.0b#804 þ <product_improvement> ::= Thom Little Associates
To: THOM LITTLE
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER
Subj: sweaters and shirts
She is sitting out in the woods knitting a sweater out of orange
leaves. I think Alice's trip to outer space has left her a bit
daffy.
To: PETER NEUENDORFFER
From: THOM LITTLE
Subj: sweaters and shirts
Peter:
PN>She is sitting out in the woods knitting a sweater out of orange
PN>leaves. I think Alice's trip to outer space has left her a bit
PN>daffy.
I sure hope she gets it together soon. She is supposed to go with me to
Newport early tomorrow morning. I haven't seen her in a while. I assume
she will just show up when I'm ready to leave.
... Thom
þ WinQwk 2.0b#804 þ <product_improvement> ::= Thom Little Associates
To: PETER NEUENDORFFER
From: THOM LITTLE
Subj: sweaters and shirts
Peter:
PN>... She shouted that she is off to visit the cottages
PN>with Thom, and so she was off.
Well she showed up a few minutes late. The drive was rather uneventful.
It was one of those cold grey days with the leaves turning color on most
trees.
The race was fine. It was in the high forties or low fifties. Very good
conditions for a moderate distance road race.
Alice seemed to enjoy herself. She made some new friends. She was
playing a new game. She would appear selectively to people. She would
only be visible to one person and the person right next to them could not
see her. This caused all kinds of mayhem for a while.
Soon she got tired of her new game and abruptly stopped playing it.
On the way home she was rather quiet. At Fall River she turned to me and
simply said "People are such fools." She turned back to watch the scenery
slip by as we made our way back to Boston.
She left a few minutes ago. She has been sitting quietly reading a book
since returning. She just shut the book, got up, said goodnight and
walked out.
I have no idea where she went.
PN>... By the way, how has Procomm for Windows been for you?
Yes, I've been using it since the day it was announced. I am very pleased
with it. It operates under Windows superbly. I am investigating a
problem using it under Windows/NT (file transfer speed under NT is being
limited somehow).
... Thom
þ WinQwk 2.0b#804 þ <product_improvement> ::= Thom Little Associates
To: THOM LITTLE
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER
Subj: sweaters and shirts
Conf: Channel 1 (0) Read Type: TEXT SCAN (+)
I'm glad the race went well. I would think that Alice selectively
appearing made it hard on the other runners. She was multitasking,
no doubt, as I thought I saw a shimmer in the woulds. But that might
have been my sister Kate.
To: PETER NEUENDORFFER
From: THOM LITTLE
Subj: sweaters and shirts
Peter:
PN> I'm glad the race went well. I would think that Alice selectively
PN>appearing made it hard on the other runners. She was multitasking,
She wasn't appearing to ANY of the runners - only to the sporadic
spectators along the way. (I was a cold day for spectating.)
She called and asked how I was doing. I told her I was still wiped out.
She said that was unfortunate because she had plans for the evening. I
begged off and suggested that she call you. (I hope that was OK with
you.)
PN>... "I saw a shimmer in the woulds" ...
What an image! Love it!
... Thom
þ WinQwk 2.0b#804 þ <product_improvement> ::= Thom Little Associates
To: THOM LITTLE
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER
Subj: sweaters and shirts
What is involved in recovering from a race. Now I would think
the serious runner does not say "PAARRRTTYYY!".
Alice called me from London. She has a temporary job transporting
transplant organs and has a stiff 48 hour schedule. She says she
may fly the Concorde, and knowing her, she will probably end up
on the Shuttle, studying the effects of prolonged Twinkie deprevation.
To: THOM LITTLE
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER
Subj: life after
Alice has been laughing at me, and I am sending her back to you.
She has been running around the apartment chanting "Use Masking Tape".
This is unforgivable. And what scares me even more is that she
is imaginary. How can our imagination have such control over our
emotions and self-esteem? How is it that we really care about the
office boy in L.A. Law? That we really care about some overweight
person on Oprah whom we shall never see in the flesh?
Anyways, I have been trying to paste together pages of text from
a file reader. Huh? Across the buffer. The more I try to fix it,
the worse it gets. I am almost ready to believe that "get a life"
does indeed apply to the programmer. Alice does not cheer me up,
and I fear for my mental health if she stays a minute longer, so
I have uploaded her up to you in Mailbox (alice.zip).
To: PETER NEUENDORFFER
From: THOM LITTLE
Subj: sweaters and shirts
Peter:
PN>What is involved in recovering from a race.
Rest and light running.
I've not seen Alice this week. Is she still in transit?
... Thom
þ WinQwk 2.0b#804 þ <product_improvement> ::= Thom Little Associates
To: PETER NEUENDORFFER
From: THOM LITTLE
Subj: life after
Peter:
PN>... I fear for my mental health if she stays a minute longer, so
PN>I have uploaded her up to you in Mailbox (alice.zip).
I hadn't heard from her all week. Sunday, around the 18 mile mark I heard
a near wisper over my left shoulder, "Hi Thom" she said. "Hello Alice," I
replied without looking around. "How have you ...," is started to say as
I turned towards her.
When I turned I saw her for the first time. Her lower lip was jutting
out. She was almost crying. She tried to carry on a conversation for a
bit but she could barely talk. I turned to avoid a crack in the sidewalk
(we were in Cambridge of course) and when I turned back she was gone.
What did you DO Peter?
I continued running along. At 21 miles she showed up again. She simply
said "You were right Thom." Right about what I wondered. What I said was
"Why of course Alice." (I still wonder what that exchange could have
meant.)
She seemed a little more like her ol self but a little preoccupied.
I guess the only way to put this is WATCH OUT PETER I THINK SHE'S ABOUT TO
GET EVEN!!
... Thom
þ WinQwk 2.0b#804 þ <product_improvement> ::= Thom Little Associates
To: THOM LITTLE
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER
Subj: life after
The only thing I did to her was throw her a birthday party. I yelled
at her when she tried to help light the candles. And she hates
sweets, and I had served cake and ice cream. I don't think anyone
had ever thrown a birthday party for her before. That's what I did.
She would not get even, but then again, my birthday is the end
of this month (or did I already say this before?).
I am madly in love with Alice, but she just wants to be friends.
And Alice's lip always juts out, so that doesn't mean a thing.
To: PETER NEUENDORFFER
From: THOM LITTLE
Subj: life after
Peter:
PN>The only thing I did to her was throw her a birthday party. I yelled
PN>at her when she tried to help light the candles.
That wasn't it. Think HARD on this one. Something is REALLY bothering
her.
PN>I am madly in love with Alice, but she just wants to be friends.
PN>And Alice's lip always juts out, so that doesn't mean a thing.
You too.
... Thom
þ WinQwk 2.0b#804 þ <product_improvement> ::= Thom Little Associates
To: THOM LITTLE
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER
Subj: life after
I finally asked Alice what was really bothering her. She says
it is me interrupting her all the time, and asking so many questions
of her when she comes in the door. I jumped in and asked "What
questions?"
To: PETER NEUENDORFFER
From: THOM LITTLE
Subj: life after
Peter:
PN>I finally asked Alice what was really bothering her. She says
PN>it is me interrupting her all the time, and asking so many questions
PN>of her when she comes in the door. I jumped in and asked "What
PN>questions?"
Yes ... that is part of what was bothering her. It still is. She is
rather unhappy with you at the moment.
She decided to open my eyes a little. You know how she flits in and out
just sort of appearing and then when you look the other way she disappears
so you never see her go ... that sort of thing?
Well ... yesterday ... she took me with her.
One instant I was sitting in front of a terminal typing and the next
instant I was knee deep in water (Pacific Ocean). She just decided to
"flit" to Monterey for a little while to watch the sun go down and visit
with the sea lions.
Well we stayed around for a while and as the sun went down we started to
get a slight chill. We stopped by a local beanery that had a roaring fire
going in a fireplace in the corner. We warmed ourselves and as I was just
taking my first sip of hot chocolate whn she "flit" us back to my place.
"Well?!," she said/asked.
I was just dumb struck.
"Humans!," she said ... as she disappeared.
This was two days ago. I haven't seen her since.
... Thom
þ WinQwk 2.0b#804 þ <product_improvement> ::= Thom Little Associates
To: THOM LITTLE
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER
Subj: life after
Alice threw me a birthday party. Everyone was there, Sean, Tom,
Christy, Merryl, Sting. Just everyone. Alice had on a blue sequined
laser dress with black holes. She recited a special poem in honor
of me and all my great qualities, and congratulated me on my 21st
birthday (a bit belatedly). She took me on a tour of the states that
lasted twenty minutes, with a special view of the Grand Canyon. All
in all it was a great party, but I don't know what to do with all
the left over cake in icecream, which takes up most of the dining room.
To: PETER NEUENDORFFER
From: THOM LITTLE
Subj: life after
Peter:
PN>Alice threw me a birthday party. Everyone was there, Sean, Tom,
PN>Christy, Merryl, Sting. Just everyone.
Careful!! I think there is something amiss. She never has been ... how
shall I say ... thoughtfull. Watch out Peter. I think she's up to
something.
PN>in all it was a great party, but I don't know what to do with all
PN>the left over cake in icecream, which takes up most of the dining room.
Sounds about right.
Have you seen her today? She was supposed to stop over today.
Well, she did it again. I was sitting here typing, she flit in, took me
off to Hawaii and we watched yet another sunset. What the hell is it with
her? Why does she have this fascination with sunsets?
So we watched it for an hour or so. She flit us back to my place and then
disappeared without a word.
What's going to happen next do you suppose?
... Thom
þ WinQwk 2.0b#804 þ <product_improvement> ::= Thom Little Associates
To: THOM LITTLE
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER
Subj: life after
Thom, you are booking imaginary seats on the airline? Really? Hmmm.
Well, I am dredging up xbolgame in another stab at chatting. Discovered
the source here. And I thought it was lost. Thank God for Channel One.
(to hell with 7-11). So Seattle is the end of the month? What's
the weather like out there? I hear they get a lot of rain and fog. No?
Alice is asleep and snoring, dare I say. After jogging with
The President (you may have seen her picture in the Herald), she
is understandabely tired.
To: PETER NEUENDORFFER
From: THOM LITTLE
Subj: Alice/Travel
Read: 11-01-93 (09:06) Status: PUBLIC MESSAGE
Conf: Channel 1 (0) Read Type: TEXT SCAN (+) HAS Reply/Replies
Peter:
PN>Thom, you are booking imaginary seats on the airline? Really? Hmmm.
No. I refused to book the seat this time.
Oh. ... Alice just flit in ...
"Thom, you don't have to book imaginary seats ... they're always
available," she said. Then she said, "Humans!?" and vanished.
I think she's still mad at you/us Peter.
... Thom
þ WinQwk 2.0b#804 þ <product_improvement> ::= Thom Little Associates
To: THOM LITTLE
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER
Subj: Alice/Travel
I looked out the window this morning at another gray day with
lots of fallen leaves. There she was walking slowly up the street,
carrying a U.S. Mail bag.
To: PETER NEUENDORFFER
From: THOM LITTLE
Subj: Alice/Travel
Peter:
PN>... There she was walking slowly up the street,
PN>carrying a U.S. Mail bag.
That makes sense.
... Thom
þ WinQwk 2.0b#804 þ <product_improvement> ::= Thom Little Associates
To: THOM LITTLE
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER
Subj: mail carrier
After a week of delivering the mail, Alice has stopped running around.
She says the old saw about dogs biting mailmen is not true. It is
the cats that are a problem. They slink around and keep asking if
their check has come. Alice says that most people do have their
names on their mailbox, but a mojority do not. She is very upset
about the junk mail situation, especially when they send hand lotion
and the lotion drips all over her bag. One nice thing about being
the mailmen, she says, is she knows her mail is being delivered
properly. Every day she is tempted to re-mail all her mail in the
nearest mailbox, but then just that more would come next week. She
has learned to bend and stuff envolopes to fit in mailboxes, and
she says it is not true that when you don't get any mail they forgot
to sort it that day. In fact, she says, it is because you have
stopped writing to your mother.
She tells me the check is in the mail.
To: ALL
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER
Subj: The Greengrocer Question
Well, Alice gave me a piece of mail marked To Resident that
I found of interest. Here it is, in it's entirety:
" To Resident
From William Satire
RE: Greengrocerism and the World Agenda.
.
First of all, I want to say that you will attack my erudite
and extensive sholarism as being racist or bigoted or xenophobic.
I am used to these Sophmoric attacks from bleeding heart liberals
who do not understand the horrible implications of modern day
Greengrocerism.
In short, little green men are rapidly buying up all our supermarkets
and home improvement centers. It is a carefully laid out plan to
control what you eat, when you eat it, how you eat it, and how
you build your new back porch. Don't laugh at me, there is ample
historical evidence that little green men are duty bound to exert
such monolithic persuasion on our pallettes and tool boxees.
Why, even President Clinton is eating Big Macs (r) that have
green lettuce probably moved across interstate lines by little
green men. Your children do not get into law school because
someone else's has superior groceries bought at a special Green Grocer.
Your floor fell through because you did not know the right little
green home improvement men.
The other day, I was talking to Mabel. I said 'I wish I was a
little green man.'
Why, asked Mabel. 'So I could be unscrupulous and play dirty
politics like Green Grocerism has taught the Green people since
the beginning of time. But I am a superior Blue person, and must
be a credit to my race.'
So, you see, Green people cannot help it. They are even bending
the ear of our Congressmen. Do you think Congress listens to the
gun lobby, or the liquor lobby, or the insurance lobby?. No
they listen to the Green Grocer lobby.
Many distinguished writers agree that little green men are
instigating world destabilization. When Dershowitz talked
at Bu a few years ago, he spoke about the State Senate leader
saying 'look at those THOSE people, conniving...' He was speaking
about little green men.
Don't try to refute me. I am right. You are wrong. You flunked
out of high school. I on the other hand have a firm grasp of
Blue vocabulary.
Green Grocers have been spotted talking to cows in order to
gain a firm access on the meat market.
Please send this to five people and put your name on the
bottom of the list."
I said to Alice, "You mean this stuff is printed 10,000 words a
day?"
"Oh, it's all right, " she said. "It's an unregulated medium."
To: PETER NEUENDORFFER
From: THOM LITTLE
Subj: mail carrier
Peter:
PN>She tells me the check is in the mail.
It's probably not true.
She went out to Ipswitch with me last Sunday to watch the 10K they were
holding. She was quiet and civil most of the time.
I called Northwest and reserved an imaginary seat for her in first class.
As it turns out, there are always open imaginary seats in coach, but you
always have to reserve them in first class.
I told Alice that Since she was in first class, I wouldn't get to see her
for the entire flight.
"So?!," she said.
Well ... I guess she's back to normal.
... Thom
þ WinQwk 2.0b#804 þ <product_improvement> ::= Thom Little Associates
To: THOM LITTLE
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER
Subj: mail carrier
Yes, while you have been jetting about, I have had to deliver
the stuff for Alice. Several bills for me were sent to the wrong
address. The phone company was giving away free phone books this
week, so that was a problem. At least it diverted me from
"Talk with your hard drive" which is a doomed application if
there ever was one. Say hi to Alice for me and tell her to hurry
home soon.
To: PETER NEUENDORFFER
From: THOM LITTLE
Subj: mail carrier
Peter:
PN>... Say hi to Alice for me and tell her to hurry home soon.
I haven't seen her since yesterday. She visited me on my last long run.
She was disgusted with the fact that I was so slow. She quickly got bored
with me and disappeared. I assumed that she was heading over to visit
you.
Didn't she show up yesterday? Should we worry? Did something happen to
her?
... Thom
þ WinQwk 2.0b#804 þ <product_improvement> ::= Thom Little Associates
To: THOM LITTLE
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER
Subj: mail carrier
She did not show up yesterday, but she will show up tommorrow.
You see, the reason she is so fast is that she does everything
from tomorrow to today instead of today till tomorrow. She must
go off on her little trips from time to time to stabalize.
Consequently, she must eat a lot of high cholestorol foods to
keep her cholestorol down, and must make sure she does not overeat,
as she will lose weight. If she loses her temper, she will have
to feel guilty first, and if something good happens, she always
knows it because she is happy first. This reversal of cause and
effect is at the heart of much history, and forms a foundation
for upside down construction, a new fad in the country where
you sell the house, and then move in to it. Alice may not
in fact be real at all, and may be a cause of your imaginations.
I have not dreamt of her as yet, although I did have a dream
the other night that I met the actor A.E. Houseman. Oops, someone
is leaving, and there is a ring at the door. I must start to write
this message now.
To: PETER NEUENDORFFER
From: THOM LITTLE
Subj: news of Alice
Peter:
Where do you suppose she really is? I haven't seen her since last Sunday.
... Thom
þ WinQwk 2.0b#804 þ <product_improvement> ::= Thom Little Associates
To: THOM LITTLE
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER
Subj: mail carrier
>I already answered this.
I don't know what you are talking about. In fact, who is Alice?
I now have 20 Megabytes of free disk space. An hour ago I had
1 meg free disk space. Magic. First it said it would be done
at 1;00, then it revised this oh so slowly to 1:15.
Alice is devising a new operating system which does not need the
mouse. She says it works by a "commandd line" and so you only have
to remember a few simple commands, that have switches. She says that
someday all machines will have this Disk Operatigin System Emblem.
She says that there will be a candy tie in called melts in your
wallet, not in your closet. She says she misses you, but just
can't stand a messy apartment. She says that after DOPE is started,
she will introduce a machine that is totally incompatible with others
of it's kind. It will only be sold to dry cleaning employees and
will run faster-than-light graphics in 1 color. If you got this
far you are reading too much.
To: THOM LITTLE
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER
Subj: news of Alice
She is delivering the mail. I haven't seen her since last Sunday
either, although she did send me a paper airplane outlining her
plans for old operating systems.
To: PETER NEUENDORFFER
From: THOM LITTLE
Subj: news of Alice
Peter:
PN>She is delivering the mail. I haven't seen her since last Sunday
PN>either, although she did send me a paper airplane outlining her
PN>plans for old operating systems.
She went running with me today. She was quiet and rather pleasant. She
did not repeat any of the games that you have been reporting. I think she
is playing with your mind. She's probably still upset about that "more
then a birthday" problem.
On the way out, on the Cambridge side of the Charles we noted that they
are no longer closing down Memorial Drive for us on Sunday afternoons. I
guess the algorithm is that they do it right up until the time you get
used to it happening and then they stop. (Since it is no longer closed
down, where do you suppose parents take their children on Sundays to
confuse them about traffic and traffic laws?)
On the way back, on the Boston side of the Charles, we met a Buddhist
priest in an incredibly beautiful golden colored robe. We both paid our
respects as we ran by but I don't think that he even saw us. He was
apparently just leaving his evening meditation. We continued along. We
discussed the Dali Lama's last visit to Harvard and wondered if he would
perhaps return.
We are debating the trip to Seattle. One of us has had a mild flu for a
few days and the other one of us isn't too supportive. In fact, she is
blatantly disinterested.
She did smile some today and she was actually joyous after our encounter
on the way back. She was smiling when she left and she said she was on
her way over to your place.
Did she show up?
... Thom
þ WinQwk 2.0b#804 þ <product_improvement> ::= Thom Little Associates
To: THOM LITTLE
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER
Subj: news of Alice
That was a very nice message, Thom. sounds like a lovely Sunday,
even if the traffic is back on Memorial Drive. I apologise for being
a bit disconnected lately. I hope to see Alice again, but all this
time and space stuff is kind of discombobulating. I wonder if that
is in the dictionary? I sent off a game tonight, which I'm pretty
sure has been done over and over, but I thought it is kind of neat.
It is ALLBUG.ZIP. It may be just too fast on a 486, now that
I think of it, I probably should add a slowdown option. Oh well.
I got out today for my employment class and Dr. appointment, so
it isn't like I've been shut in. Do you still run in the morning?
To: THOM LITTLE
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER
Subj: gobble gobble
She showed up this morning with ten bundles of groceries.
She is cooking pheasant, turkey, duck and steak at the moment.
She says she is thankful that she is cooking this year and not I.
She said she just needed a few days alone to get organized.
I am in charge of opening cans. Alice, unbeknownst to me has
invited 97 people for dinner tomorrow. She says Happy Happy to you.
Subj: news of Alice
Read: 11-28-93 (13:43) Status: PUBLIC MESSAGE
Peter:
PN>... Do you still run in the morning?
I never run in the morning unless I'm racing.
... Thom
þ WinQwk 2.0b#804 þ <product_improvement> ::= Thom Little Associates
To: THOM LITTLE
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER
Subj: news of Alice
I do not run in the morning, noon or night. How about those
wild winds today? Alice was blowing on her soup too hard last night,
and I said "Now look what you've done." We have just finished doing
the dishes from Thanksgiving. Now I have to oh so carefully put
away the good china.
To: PETER NEUENDORFFER
From: THOM LITTLE
Subj: Alice
Peter:
Alice stopped by for a visit ... it lasted nearly two weeks. I now
understand what you were saying about her extended visits.
She told me to ay hi to you as she was leaving (for places unknown).
... Thom
þ WinQwk 2.0b#804 þ <product_improvement> ::= Thom Little Associates
To: THOM LITTLE
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER
Subj: Alice
She just told me! I'm glad Alice stayed with you, as I was tired
of her pick pick picking all the time about every little thing
I did. You don't realize what a burden she was all the time with
her constant complaints about world government, the state of the
environment, why I should smoke my cigarettes all the way down,
why I should wring out my socks so they don't mold, why I should
put the cap on my toothpaste. I missed her.
Since she's been gone I went on a rampage doing hyper-text-like
programming (I think you have to pay to say the word in public) to
all hours of the morning.
Alice brought me lots of Christmas gifts: hope, love, understanding,
good cheer, and some good stuff too.
We are currently installing the Holodeck in the bathroom (it is
the only place it will fit). She says that the setup is a breeze,
went inside, and didn't come out. All I hear are Ho Ho Ho, and the
sound of elves and reindeer from inside. Did you know that reindeer
are very quiet? Except for all those bells.
Many people this time of year are depressed, yea suicidal over
the prospects of visiting the family. Not me. I have put it out
of my mind somewhat a bit perhaps. Alice says she wants to visit
her parents on Andromeda but just can't swing the bus fare. I said
why not use the Holodeck, and she said, that would be cheating.
Oh, here comes Alice. She's covered with snow.
To: PETER NEUENDORFFER
From: THOM LITTLE
Subj: publish or perish?
Peter:
PN>Hi, Thom. There has been some interest in me publishing a backlog
PN>of Alice messages. I have been keeping them in a text file for a
PN>few months, but don't have anything much older. I delete the date
PN>and rcvd lines. I of course would need your say so on this.
I vote for perish. I really don't care though. It seems to me that we
ought to be living in the future instead of the past.
Like I said, I don't care ... and what the hell, Alice would probably even
be flattered.
... Thom
þ WinQwk 2.0b#804 þ <product_improvement> ::= Thom Little Associates
To: PETER NEUENDORFFER
From: THOM LITTLE
Subj: Alice
Peter:
PN>... I missed her.
Well she seems to be back. She's still confusing the hell out of me
though.
PN> Oh, here comes Alice. She's covered with snow.
See what I mean? When you reported this, there was no show in the area.
She stopped by this afternoon and went for a nice little run in the snow.
She, of course, disappeared just as abruptly as she had appeared.
It seems to me that she's time-traveling again. She showed up at your
place yesterday covered with the snow from today's run.
I, for one, wish she'd stop doing that (or at least take me along on one
of her time-jumps.
The holo-deck doesn't work, by the way. It was a present to a next door
neighbor's seven year old. He tired of it after having visited the French
Revolution and took a small ax to its innards.
Alice claims she can fix it ... but .. then again ... you know Alice.
... Thom
þ WinQwk 2.0b#804 þ <product_improvement> ::= Thom Little Associates
Date: 12-20-93 (15:50) Number: 211176 of 212311 (Refer# 211138)
To: THOM LITTLE
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER
Subj: Alice
Read: 12-20-93 (19:32) Status: PUBLIC MESSAGE
Conf: Channel 1 (0) Read Type: TEXT SCAN (+)
You are right about the Holodeck. I went into it, but it was just
the same as my bathroom, where it is. When I came out, though,
I was covered with snow.
Alice is not time travelling. She has been rooting around my text
files. I wouldn't mind, but I wish she would leave the Carraige
returns alone.
To: PETER NEUENDORFFER
From: LIN SPRAGUE
Subj: publish or perish?
She reminds me very much of somone I know (except my friend Diane is
more human and smokes,) so I have a very clear idea what Alice looks
like. If you need someone to play Alice in the mini-series, my friend
would be perfect. She would be very convincing doing all the
meta-physical things that Alice does, but you'd have to use special film
effects to show her running (she's not very willingly athletic.)
...Lin..
To: PETER NEUENDORFFER
From: THOM LITTLE
Subj: Alice
Peter:
PN>You are right about the Holodeck. I went into it, but it was just
PN>the same as my bathroom, where it is. When I came out, though,
PN>I was covered with snow.
PN> Alice is not time travelling. She has been rooting around my text
PN>files. I wouldn't mind, but I wish she would leave the Carraige
PN>returns alone.
Be careful ... she's tricking you.
She told me Sunday that she was going to take a bucket of snow and throw
it on you Monday as you left the bathroom (just ot confuse you).
I have found out how she does it. If you go to your bathtub and determine
the closest cabinet to the tub. Look inside the cabinet and you will fine
a white Alice-size box (assuming she was folded up into a tight little
ball).
This is her (uncomfortable) time-travel module.
If you can't find the module ... then it's not there. Forget about it for
a while ... she's still playing with your mind.
She has promised to come over and explain to me what a toddy is (as in hot
toddy).
... Thom
þ WinQwk 2.0b#804 þ <product_improvement> ::= Thom Little Associates
To: THOM LITTLE
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER
Subj: Alice
>If you can't find the module.
I looked in my medicine cabinet.
I found toothpaste, deoderant, razors, a bandaid, a brush, and...
a module. I travelled to tommorrow to find out what the winning
Mass. Millions was. There was no winner.
By the way, I think you are right. Alice has been playing with my
mind all along. She really has no special powers, has never been
to outer space, and cannot go inside of the Internet. But she is
a good friend all the same, even if she is self deluded. Alice just
left for your house, having donned some ice skates. Hope y'all enjoy
the hot toddies.
. Murphy's Corallary #2000. You find bugs 2 minutes after you
publish...
To: THOM LITTLE
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER
Subj: ...alice sneaking...
Hi, Thom. Did Alice spend Christmas with you? I went home to mom and
dad's for the holiday, so she wasn't with me.
When I got back there was some e-mail for me on Space-link. Alice told
me something I think you should know. Don't tell the whole world
as it is very private.
It seems that Alice is homeless.
When not visiting us, she told me she stays behind a Dunkin Donuts
and wears lots of sweaters. She said she does not like to stay in
shelters. She can't get a job because she doesn't have nice clothes.
She wasn't really an astrophysicist, she just hung out at the
observatory and gave free advice. She never had a house on Brattle
street, but used to sleep in a limousine there to "watch" it for
the owner.
Alice doesn't have a home, and I don't know where she is.
To: PETER NEUENDORFFER
From: THOM LITTLE
Subj: . . . Alice . . .
Read: 12-30-93 (00:47) Status: PUBLIC MESSAGE
Conf: Channel 1 (0) Read Type: TEXT SCAN (+) HAS Reply/Replies
Peter:
PN> It seems that Alice is homeless.
PN> When not visiting us, she told me she stays behind a Dunkin Donuts
PN>and wears lots of sweaters. She said she does not like to stay in
PN>shelters. She can't get a job because she doesn't have nice clothes.
PN>She wasn't really an astrophysicist, she just hung out at the
PN>observatory and gave free advice. She never had a house on Brattle
PN>street, but used to sleep in a limousine there to "watch" it for
PN>the owner.
PN> Alice doesn't have a home, and I don't know where she is.
P E T E R ! ... will you relax ... she's just pushing your buttons.
She stayed with me over Christmas for a while. When not here she has a
suite at the Ritz that is always reserved in her name. In return, she has
agreed to haunt some of the rooms at the Ritz to give the "chosen" a cheap
thrill.
On Christmas eve, around 8:30, she found a BU student in the lobby of the
Ritz. She (ALice) convinced her (the student) to go out to Harvard Bridge
and take the Smoot challenge. Yes ... on Christmas Eve their was a
giggleing BU student rolling over Harvard bridge chanting.
She showed up at my place a little latter and we got to chatting as we
sipped hot chocolate. "Alice," I asked, "why are you such a bitch around
Peter?" She replied, "He deserves it. He didn't take me to his parents
place for Christmas. Watch how I get even with him!"
Basically Peter you ought to open your karmic dictionary to "nature
spirits." The passage has one reference ... it says ... see Alice.
... Thom
þ WinQwk 2.0b#804 þ <product_improvement> ::= Thom Little Associates
To: THOM LITTLE
From: PETER NEUENDORFFER
Subj: . . . Alice . . .
Read: NO Status: PUBLIC MESSAGE
Conf: Channel 1 (0) Read Type: TEXT SCAN (+)
Well, I have never stayed at the Ritz. I have eaten their crackers,
though. She has a lot of nerve. I was calling all the Dunkin Donuts and
Burger Kings to see if she was there. And tonight I was worried about
her with this snow. It is a relief to know she is not homeless. Does she
get her mail at your house? This is supposed to be a common tactic to
determine if someone lives somewhere. It just seemed to me that we have
to be socially relevant in this endeavor. So she was out smooting on
Christmas eve? Pardon me, but what exactly is the Smoot challenge? I
have walked that bridge many times, counting smoots. Did they fix it
finally so it will not sink into the river? I wonder if they will tear
this bridge down with the new depressed Central Artery. I'd be depressed
too.
Comments
Post a Comment