BRITCOMEDY DIGEST

Date: Tue, 12 Jul 1994 16:22:09 -0500
From: casino@pobox.upenn.edu (Melinda 'Bob' Casino)
Subject: BRITCOMEDY DIGEST (vol.1, no.1)

I was going to post this later this week, but in light of the Craig Charles
story, I decided to move ahead with this first issue. Hope you like it.

                   ==================================
                    B R I T C O M E D Y  D I G E S T
                   ==================================

V. 1    *S P E C I A L  I N T R O D U C T O R Y  I S S U E*    AUG. 1994
no.1

A monthly electronic newsletter on British comedies.

What's Inside:
==============
Features:

Transcription of 'Blackadder: The Cavalier Years' (1/3)
"Hollywood and British Comics," by Michelle Street

Regular Departments:

Editor's Page
Letters
Britcomedy News
  Newsquirks
Editorial Page
Stress-Buster
Quote-O'-the-Month

E D I T O R 'S  P A G E
=======================
   Welcome to the first issue of Britcomedy Digest, a monthly electronic
newsletter for fans of British comedies. Being an enthusiast of most
anything with the British stamp on it myself, I found that cruising the
same newsgroups repeatedly to glean some tidbit of information was both
timeconsuming and tedious. I found that most people interestd in British
comedies tapped into the same newsgroups: alt.british.comedy,
rec.arts.tv.uk, and alt.comedy.british.blackadder, among others. I'd like
this "publication" to be the repository of all the great information that's
floating around there on that great sprawling electronic thingy we call the
Internet. I hope that anyone who loves Britcomedy will find this an
informative and entertaining 'zine.

   Some of the issues, such as this special introductory issue, may be
fairly lengthy, so you might want to print them out for easy reading.

   Since the Digest is in its infancy (actually, it's in more like an
embryonic stage. Or perhaps a glint in the milkman's eye...), the editor is
looking for correspondents from the U.K., as well as Australia, Germany,
and Canada, to report on listings in your area for British comedies, as
well as general articles. This section will be placed at the end of future
issues so that readers who aren't interested won't have to plow through
them to get to the good stuff.

   And what is the good stuff, you say? In this issue we provide Blackadder
fans with something they've wanted for a long time: the beginning of a
transcript of the elusive performance "Blackadder: The Cavalier Years."
This skit was originally taped for an AIDS benefit in the United Kingdom,
and has not been released to the general public.

   There's also an editorial on Alexi Sayle's virtues (and vices), and a
piece by Michelle Street on British comedians' misguided careers in
America.

   Enjoy!

Staff
=====
Editor-In-Chief........Bob Casino
Managing Editor........Melinda Casino (no relation)
Contributing Editor....Michelle Street
Copywriter, budget.....Michelle Casino

How To Reach The Editors
========================
We want to hear from you! Readers are ENCOURAGED to direct "letters to the
editor," comments, news items, praise, and criticism to the Managing Editor
at Britcomedy Digest. There are two ways to accomplish this:

Write: Melinda Casino, Britcomedy Digest, 404 So. 20th Street,
Philadelphia, PA  19146.

E-mail: casino@upenn.pobox.edu (place in subject line 'Britcomedy Digest')

For news-related items, please send e-mail to Michelle Street at
mtstreet@prairienet.org;  or write her at Michelle Street, 1118 Briarcliff,
Rantoul, IL  61866.


LETTERS
=======

Dear Melinda "Rikki-Tikki-Tavi" Casino:

Does Britcomedy Digest cover "alternative" comedies only, or just any
comedy produced in Britian?

                            Michelle Casino (mcasino@sas.upenn.edu)

Dear Michelle:

Don't be a complete smeg-head! BD covers any and all comedies produced in
Britain, as long as the readers demand it. For instance, I wouldn't
necessarily consider producing a special issue on "Hitchhiker's Guide to
the Galaxy" but if enough people requested it, I would with no hesitation.

Right now, the demand seems to be for the following shows: "Red Dwarf,"
"Blackadder," "Are You Being Served," "AbFab," and "Whose Line is It,
Anyway?". Readers are encouraged to write in if they want coverage of their
favorite comedy!
                             Rikki-Tikki


BRITCOMEDY NEWS
===============
CRAIG CHARLES IN COURT ON RAPE CHARGE

   Craig Charles, star of the BBC's Red Dwarf series, was formally charged
July 11 for rape of a 38-year old woman at her flat in Clapham, south
London, the Friday before. Mr Charles, of Kennington, is jointly charged
with John David Peploe, 36, a company director, of Camberwell Green, south
London. The actor reportedly burst into tears when he was refused bail.

   Police are reportedly looking for a third party involved in the alleged rape.

   The star of the British comedy sci-fi cult "Red Dwarf" turned 30 just
the day before. At the time of the charges, Charles was filming season 7 of
Red Dwarf. It is assumed by all accounts that the Red Dwarf Christmas
special that was planned this year is canceled.

   In light of the O.J. Simpson case here in America, Britcomedy Digest
would like to remind its readers that Craig Charles has been accused of
rape. He has not been found guilty or convicted.

ONE FOOT IN THE PYTHON

   What's new with the Pythons? Michael Palin's play "The Weekend" recently
opened at the Strand Theatre in London. The star of Palin's first West End
effort is none other than Richard Wilson, best known from the sitcom "One
Foot In The Grave." Wilson plays a diagreeable old geezer who ruins his
wife's dinner party by arguing with all of the guests about politics, sex,
and religion.

A MULTI-TALENTED FRY

   Following the success of "The Liar," Stephen Fry has published a second
novel called "The Hippopotamus." Already a best seller in the UK, the novel
is published by Hutchinson and so far has not been released in America.
Let's hope it is!


-----> Got a rumor? Know of some news? Britcomedy Digest is looking for
bits o' news about the comedy industry in the UK or anyone connected with
british comedies. Send news item to: mtstreet@prairienet.org


NEWSQUIRKS
==========
Pixels in the press...

SAY IT AIN'T SO DEPT. II

In light of the recent bad news with Craig Charles, Britcomedy found out
that Charles was banned on Feb. 21, 1994, after he pleaded guilty to
drink-driving. The 29-year-old star of the BBC 2 comedy series "Red Dwarf"
joked he would have to get a chauffeur after he appeared at Bow Street
Magistrates' court in central London. The court heard Charles was seen by
police at 1am  driving "with some speed" in Haymarket, in London's West End
after eating at a restaurant with a girlfriend. A breath test showed the
actor had 43 microgramms of alcohol in 100 mililitres of breath. The legal
limit is 35 microgramms. The actor also pleaded guilty to failing to appear
in court after not reading the charge sheet carefully, the court heard.
Charles was disqualified for a year and fined L250 for the excess alcohol
charge along with L25 costs and L25 for failing to appear.

GOOD RATINGS IN AMERICA, BUT WILL IT FLY IN SOUTH AFRICA?

Last November, the Electronic Media Network (M-Net), the independent cable
television company, was the first to take advantage of the lifting of the
ban on the sale of British television material by Equity, the actors'
union. The television company also announced that it would be showing Mr.
Bean, Fawlty Towers, the Fortunes of War serial with Kenneth Branagh and
Emma Thompson, and Prime Suspect, starring Helen Mirren.

Equity has maintained its ban on the work of British actors being shown in
South Africa for 17 years, but in a national referendum last November, its
members voted to lift the ban.

Since 1976, South Africans have had to put up U.S. soap operas and
low-grade, locally made equivalents. On radio, reruns of the classic Goon
Show or Monty Python programmes were the staple diet.


O TO BE A FLY ON THE WALL--

Comedy star Ben Elton married 26-year-old Australian musician Sophie in
London on May 14, after a courtship that started in 1987. He is unsure
where they will end up living but hopes Britain can be their base. They met
in 1986 when when saxophonist Sophie's band, "The Jam Tarts," were on a
comedy tour of Australia with Elton and Rik Mayall, who ended up being the
best man at their wedding.

The reception was at Claridge's. Only about 30 or so were there -- but they
included Rowan Atkinson, Adrian Edmondson and Stephen Fry. Remember, it's
quality, not quantity...

                                ###

HOLLYWOOD AND BRITISH COMICS
============================= by Michelle Street

   It has happened time and time again. Performers who are huge
in Britain and by all rights should gain international fame, try to make
the crossover to popularity in America only to have their attempt fail.
Question is: why?

   A case in point is Rik Mayall. Revered as the co-writer/star of "The
Young Ones," he has had a string of successes in the UK including "The
Comic Strip Presents" and especially "The New Statesman." Since his start
as part of "The Young Ones," he has shown versatility and range, even to
point of making a very convincing romantic lead in the tv film "Dancing
Queen."

   But what happened when Rik got his shot at a major motion picture?
"Drop Dead Fred," that's what. Playing  basically his "Young Ones"
character, only much grosser, he was stuck in a juvenile mess of a film
that was deemed one of the worst movies of the year.

   Yes, it is generally accepted that Americans are far less enamored of
juvenile "potty" humor than are the Brits. I find this sweeping generality
a bit hard to swallow, though, and believe there has to be more to it than
this.

   Even harder to understand is why Lenny Henry is not a major star in the
States. He is an immensely likeable performer and with very few exceptions
(like his character of the Brixton DJ Delbert Wilkins) his materal appeals
to a wide audience.

   Yet even with a major studio behind it, his first shot at motion picture
stardom, "True Identity" was a flop and this apparently caused his contract
with Disney to come apart.

   Sad thing is, while some stars can have major bombs and still get
offered starring roles, Rik, Lenny, and others like them may never get
another shot in Hollywood.

   I hope I'm wrong. They deserve better.

   So what do YOU think, readers?  Why can't Hollywood seem to do right by
these talented performers? Not only Rik and Lenny, but Tracey Ullmann,
Billy Connolly, and countless others. Let's start a dialogue and see if we
can get this figured out...

                               ###

E D I T O R I A L  /  O P I N I O N  P A G E
============================================

ALEXI SAYLE -- WHO THINKS HE'S SPECIAL? HE DOES.

   Remember the American entertainer, Danny Kaye? Want to see a poor man's
version? Tune into Alexi Sayle's "STUFF." The premise is this: under the
pretense of exploring society's mores and morals, Sayle putts around
England in his moped and stops at various sites to make wry, insightful
comments on the world we live in. The reality is a series of one-liners and
sketches that are choppily edited together and, more often than not, simply
time-killers for the viewer.

   Granted, Sayle's first-person style can be effective. You feel like one
of his friends as he cozies up to the camera, talking to it as if to his
closest mate and adopting a confidential tone of voice. It can work for
him, and he knows it. And Sayle can carry off doing appearances on other
t.v. shows with such panache, you wonder why you thought him a talentless
git at all. Who can forget the hilarious "axe-wielding homicidal manaic"
from "The Young Ones"? Too often, however, Sayle lapses into the
"look-at-me-I'm-so-special" mode, in which you feel he's about as charming
as a hyperactive only child who's parents are far too lenient with.

   Witness the bit from "The Young Ones", a typical Sayle performance, in
which he sings a song in a foreign accent; "Just make funny NOISES!" he
blares, and then goes through his repetoire of very un-side-splitting
random sounds. I never thought that I could appreciate the antics of Danny
Kaye until that moment. Then I knew. I knew the cleverness of Kaye's famous
"typewriter skit" in which he mimes typing frantically to some wacky music.
There's a right and a wrong way to do that sort of schtick. And watching it
done the wrong way can actually be painful.

   I enjoy physical, non-sensical humor, I really do. But if you're going
to attempt the type of humor that John Cleese's Ministry of Funny Walks so
successfully epitomizes, let's be somewhat aware of our abilities and
limitations as a performer. Sayle should stick with a subject matter for
longer than two lines in his monologue, and should cut the self-indulgent
"funny" noises.

        I can't help thinking of one episode of "STUFF," in which Sayle
ends with a lengthy song with the refrain, "It's a Funny Ol' World." Yes,
it is, Lexi, but you're not.
                                   ###

Britcomedy Digest welcomes diverse opinions from it's readers. Submit
rebuttals and editorials to: casino@pobox.upenn.edu with the subject
heading "EDITORIAL."


BLACKADDER: THE CAVALIER YEARS -- a transcription
=================================================
Originally performed live for an AIDs benefit in the UK, this skit has
never been commercially packaged.

Sir Edmund Blackadder................Rowan Atkinson
King Charles.........................Stephen Fry
Baldrick.............................Tony Robinson

Narrator:
   In 1648, King Charles was in flight from the wrath of Cromwell and his
Roundheads. Only two men remained faithful, risking certain death by their
fidelity to the crown. One was the sole descendant of a great historical
dynasty--his name, Sir Edmund Blackadder. The other was an unfortunate
mating between a pigfarmer and a bearded lady. History has, quite rightly,
forgotten his name.

SCENE I: Blackadder Hall (looks like kitchen in BA III)
CAPTION: Blackadder Hall, Nov. 1648

Blackadder: Baaaaldrick!
Baldrick: Master..
BA: Get me some mulled ale, will you? I'm freezing.
BD: So how's the King, sir?
BA: Umm-about as comfortable as can be expected, for a man who's spending
the winter in a black currant bush.
BD: Do you think the Roundheads will find him?
BA: Certainly not. I've assured him that he's as likely to be caught as a
fox being chased by a pack of one-legged hunting tortoises.
BD: Is that true?
BA: Yes of course it's true. Have you ever known me to lie to the King?
BD: Yes. (BA points a huge knife at Baldrick's head) No.
BA: Excactly. He's absolutely safe, as long as you keep your fat mouth shut.
BD: You can trust me, sir.
BA: Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Right, Baldrick, I'm off to answer the call of
nature. If, by any freak chance, Oliver Cromwell drops in here for a cup of
milk in the next 90 seconds, remember: _the King is not hiding here_.
(exits)
BD: Yes sir. (starts to sing) Greensleeves...(Cromwell enters)
Cromwell: Good evening, citizen. I am Oliver Cromwell. My men have
surrounded your house, and I am looking for royal scum. (Unsheathes sword
and points it at Baldrick's chest) Is the King here?
BD: Ummm. (looks confused) no.
OC: On pain of death and damnation, are you absolutely sure?
BD: Yes. I am.
OC: (petting BD's hair) I see. Well, then, my proud beauty, you won't mind
if my men come in from the cold, will you?
Guard: (turns and shouts out the door) Men, come in from the cold, will you?
OC: Now! We shall all have a cup of milk by your fireside.
BD: Alright, but don't touch the purple cup.
OC: Why not?
BD: That's the King's.

SCENE II:
CAPTION: Two weeks later. The tower of London.

(Escort and Cromwell enter small room. King Charles gets up from prayer.)
OC: (To the escort) Thankyou, citizen. You may leave me alone with King Charles.
King Charles: Ah, Mr. Cromwell, how delightful to see you again. Tell me,
um, have you come far?
OC: I have sir. From country squire to law protector of England.
KC: Fascinating. Um, tell me, ah, what exactly does a law protector do?
OC: Spells your doom!
KC: Spells my doom. How particularly exciting, because so many people these
days can't spell at all. Particularly, as you know, in the inner cities,
which is my area of interest.
OC: Brilliant speech, sire, but all your fine words won't save you from the
scaffold.
KG: Very good. Fascinating. Carry on. (priest enters in black robe and hood)
OC: Agreed, sir. (points to priest) To help you make your peace before you
die. (exits)
KG: Oh. Hello...
BA: Your majesty. I've arranged for certain monies to be paid to allow for
your escape (fully removes his hood).
KG: Blackadder! You're dressed as a priest, how--how dangerous and stupid
and perverted--it's just like school!
BA: Sire, this is a matter of life and death.
KG: Nonsense, Blackadder. I don't think there's a jury in England that
would bring in a verdict of guilty against me. (swift knock at the door)
Messenger's Voice: Your majesty, the verdict of the jury (BA takes scroll
and reads it)
KG: So, what does it say? Guilty or not guilty?
BA: I'll give you two guesses.
KG: Not guilty.
BA: (pause) One more guess.

SCENE III:
Blackadder Hall. (Baldrick is flogging a fish when Blackadder enters)

BA: Oh damn! One measly civil war in the history of all England and I'm on
the wrong _bloody_ side!
BD: Something wrong, sir?
BA: Yes, Baldrick, yes there is. Don't you realize if the King dies, we
Royalists are doomed? We will enter a hideous age of Puritanism. They'll
close all the theaters, lace hankerchiefs for men will be illegal, and I
won't find a friendly face to sit on this side of Bologna. If he so much as
_suspects_ we're Royalists, our property will be forfeit, and we'll be for
the chop.
BD: Oooo-I like chop.
BA: Baldrick, your brain is like the four-headed man-eating haddock
fish-beast of Aberdine.
BD: In what way?
BA: It doesn't exist.
BD: Don't worry sir. Something will pop up.
BA: Not under Puritanism, it won't. (delayed reaction from the audience) We
must do something otherwise the Blackadders are as doomed as that ant.
BD: What ant?
BA: (Picks up mallet and bangs it on kitchen table) That one.
END OF PART 1
                                ###
------8< snip! ----------------8< snip! ----------------8< snip! -------

STRESS-BUSTER
=============
Hey kids! Look what the editor's whipped up for you! Your very own
connect-the-dots! Simply draw a line from column A to the appropriate
matching identity in column B. HINT: Watch out for the wildcard in column
B! (ages 6-12)

COLUMN A                                      COLUMN B
--------                                      --------
a "fat bastard" o                             o Richard Richard
inspects hankerchief after                    o Arthur Dent
  blowing nose o                              o S. Baldrick
He despairs, he really does! o                o Rik
Has many cunning plans o                      o George MacIntyre
*Very* grumpy o                               o Dave Lister
He's seems to be having                       o A.J. Rimmer
 this problem w/his lifestyle o               o George MacIntyre
Self-appointed People's Poet o                o Alexi Sayle
First Hologram on Red Dwarf o                 o Victor Meldew

------8< snip! ----------------8< snip! ----------------8< snip! -------

QUOTE O' THE MONTH: "Schopenhauer was right, don't you think? Life without
pain has no meaning. Gentlemen, I wish to give your lives meaning."

CHARACTER:  Dr. Hildegaard Lanstrom
SHOW:       Red Dwarf, Season V, "Quarantine"

*******************************************************************
Melinda 'Rikki-tikki-tavi' Casino  |  Maintainer of the BOTTOM FAQ
casino@pobox.upenn.edu             |  and BRITCOMEDY DIGEST...
PROS: Star Wars, Jazz Butcher, Pepsi, Chihuahuas, Berkeley, Tetris
& penicillin CONS: Philadelphia, money, guilt-trips, Libertarians     
________________________________________________________________
    "God, I ADORE chess!" - 'Sir' Richard Richard, BOTTOM
 "That's what I like about you, Richie:
  you're _completely_ insane!" - Eddie Hitler (no relation)
*******************************************************************

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