HOW YOU CAN TELL WHEN IT'S GOING TO BE A BAD DAY



               HOW YOU CAN TELL WHEN IT'S GOING TO BE A BAD DAY



         You wake up - face down on the pavement
         You put your bra on backwards and it fits better
         You call Suicide Prevention and they put you on hold
         You see a "60 minutes" news team waiting for you in your
              office
         Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candle
         Your son tells you he wishes Anita Bryant would mind her own
              business
         You want to put on the clothes you wore home from the party
              but there aren't any
         You turn on the news and they're showing emergency routes out
              of the city
         Your twin sister forgets your birthday
         You wake up and discover your waterbed broke and then you
              realize you don't have a waterbed
         Your carhorn goes off accidentally and remains stuck as you
              follow a group of hells angels on the freeway
         Your wife wakes up feeling amourous and YOU have a headache
         Your boss tells you to not bother taking off you coat
         The bird singing outside your window is a buzzard
         You wake up and your braces are locked together
         You walk to work and find your dress is stuck in the back of
              your panty hose
         You call your answering service and they tell you it's none
              of your business
         Your blind date turns out to be your ex-wife
         Your income tax check bounces
         You put both contact lenses in the same eye
         Your pet rock snaps at you
         Your wife says "Good morning Bill", and your name is George
         
         
     


         
         




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