YOUR CO-WORKER COULD BE A SPACE ALIEN, SAY EXPERTS
Article 69 of alt.alien.visitors:
Path: ns-mx!iowasp.physics.uiowa.edu!maverick.ksu.ksu.edu!zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu!usc!ucsd!sdcc6!ix677
From: ix677@sdcc6.ucsd.edu (John F. Reece)
Newsgroups: alt.alien.visitors
Subject: How to test for Aliens
Message-ID: <14055@sdcc6.ucsd.edu>
Date: 10 Nov 90 06:46:07 GMT
Organization: University of California, San Diego
Lines: 63
Here's a reprint of an article originally posted by Henry Cate III, about
a year ago, in rec.humor. It seems appropriate for this newsgroup.
Originally from: cate3.osbunorth@xerox.com
YOUR CO-WORKER COULD BE A SPACE ALIEN, SAY EXPERTS ... here's how you can
tell (by Michael Cassels of the "National Inquirer")
Many Americans work side by side with space aliens who look human -
but you can spot these visitors by looking for certain
tip-offs, say experts.
They listed 10 signs to watch for:
1. Odd or mismatched clothes. "Often space aliens don't fully
understand the different styles, so they wear combinations
that are in bad taste, such as checked pants with a striped
shirt or a tuxedo jacket with blue jeans or sneakers," noted
Brad Steiger, a renowned UFO investigator and author.
2. Strange diet or unusual eating habits. Space aliens might
eat French fries with a spoon or gobble down large amounts of
pills, the experts say.
3. Bizarre sense of humor. Space aliens who don't understand
earthly humor may laugh during a serious company training film
or tell jokes that no one understands, said Steiger.
4. Takes frequent sick days. A space alien might need extra
time off to "rejuvenate its energy," said Dr. Thomas Easton,
a theoretical biologist and futurist.
5. Keeps a written or tape recorded diary. "Aliens are constantly
gathering information." said Steiger.
6. Misuses everday items. "A space alien may use correction fluid
to paint its nails," said Steiger.
7. Constant questioning about customs of co-workers. Space aliens
who are trying to learn about earth culture might ask questions that
seem stupid, Easton said.
"For example, a co-worker may ask why so many Americans picnic on
the Fourth of July," noted Steiger.
8. Secretive about personal life-style and home. "An alien won't
discuss domestic details or talk about what it does at night or
on weekends," said Steiger.
9. Frequently talks to himself. "An alien may not be used to
speaking as we do,so an alien may practice speaking," Steiger noted.
10. Displays a change of mood or physical reaction when near certain
high-tech hardware. "An alien may experience a mood change when a
microwave oven is turned on," said Steiger. The experts pointed out
that a co-worker would have to display most if not all of these
traits before you can positively identify him as a space alien.
--
jreece@ucsd.edu | John F. Reece
...!ucsd!jreece | Q.E.D. = Quite Easily Done
Path: ns-mx!iowasp.physics.uiowa.edu!maverick.ksu.ksu.edu!zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu!usc!ucsd!sdcc6!ix677
From: ix677@sdcc6.ucsd.edu (John F. Reece)
Newsgroups: alt.alien.visitors
Subject: How to test for Aliens
Message-ID: <14055@sdcc6.ucsd.edu>
Date: 10 Nov 90 06:46:07 GMT
Organization: University of California, San Diego
Lines: 63
Here's a reprint of an article originally posted by Henry Cate III, about
a year ago, in rec.humor. It seems appropriate for this newsgroup.
Originally from: cate3.osbunorth@xerox.com
YOUR CO-WORKER COULD BE A SPACE ALIEN, SAY EXPERTS ... here's how you can
tell (by Michael Cassels of the "National Inquirer")
Many Americans work side by side with space aliens who look human -
but you can spot these visitors by looking for certain
tip-offs, say experts.
They listed 10 signs to watch for:
1. Odd or mismatched clothes. "Often space aliens don't fully
understand the different styles, so they wear combinations
that are in bad taste, such as checked pants with a striped
shirt or a tuxedo jacket with blue jeans or sneakers," noted
Brad Steiger, a renowned UFO investigator and author.
2. Strange diet or unusual eating habits. Space aliens might
eat French fries with a spoon or gobble down large amounts of
pills, the experts say.
3. Bizarre sense of humor. Space aliens who don't understand
earthly humor may laugh during a serious company training film
or tell jokes that no one understands, said Steiger.
4. Takes frequent sick days. A space alien might need extra
time off to "rejuvenate its energy," said Dr. Thomas Easton,
a theoretical biologist and futurist.
5. Keeps a written or tape recorded diary. "Aliens are constantly
gathering information." said Steiger.
6. Misuses everday items. "A space alien may use correction fluid
to paint its nails," said Steiger.
7. Constant questioning about customs of co-workers. Space aliens
who are trying to learn about earth culture might ask questions that
seem stupid, Easton said.
"For example, a co-worker may ask why so many Americans picnic on
the Fourth of July," noted Steiger.
8. Secretive about personal life-style and home. "An alien won't
discuss domestic details or talk about what it does at night or
on weekends," said Steiger.
9. Frequently talks to himself. "An alien may not be used to
speaking as we do,so an alien may practice speaking," Steiger noted.
10. Displays a change of mood or physical reaction when near certain
high-tech hardware. "An alien may experience a mood change when a
microwave oven is turned on," said Steiger. The experts pointed out
that a co-worker would have to display most if not all of these
traits before you can positively identify him as a space alien.
--
jreece@ucsd.edu | John F. Reece
...!ucsd!jreece | Q.E.D. = Quite Easily Done
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