"How to Find the Cybermate of Your Dreams"
Transcript of the August 27, 1995 NetGirl conference entitled, "How to Find the Cybermate of Your Dreams"
CJ Sarah: Your Host is RosalindR. Our topic is "How to find the cybermate of your dreams."
CJ Nyte: We'll be starting on the hour folks. Pull up a chair, and don't spill the popcorn.
RosalindR: Hi, everybody!
RosalindR: The purpose of tonight's conference is to share our experiences in meeting people
RosalindR: in cyberspace.
RosalindR: Joining me tonight are two of *my* cyber-friends, Ryan Scott and Yanek
RosalindR: Martinson.
YanekM: Hello there...
Angel Swan: Hi! :smile::
CJ Sarah: Welcome, all!
RosalindR: Ryan and I met on the Net (sort of), and now we're living and working happily
RosalindR: ever after. Yanek is one of our business associates, and he, too, has a story to
RosalindR: share.
YanekM: I do?
RosalindR: But, before we tell you all about us, does anybody else out there have a cyber-love
RosalindR: story to tell?
RosalindR: Nobody? For me, it's hard to imagine that somebody could be online for more than
RosalindR: a couple of days and not fall in love with someone. ;)
Angel Swan: ?
CJ Nyte: Angel: Your question
Angel Swan: Are you looking for stories of *successful* romances, Rosalind? :D
Angel Swan: 'ga
RosalindR: By "successful," you mean those that ended with two people strolling hand in hand
RosalindR: toward the virtual sunset? No, not necessarily!
Angel Swan: Yep... those that don't end in bitterness, disappointment and retribution. ;)
RosalindR: Hmmm ... sounds like you've been through a few. What happened?
Angel Swan: Hmmm... well, the online world is a strange place.. one does *not* wish to get involved with
Angel Swan: another person romantically for at least a year after having arrived.
Angel Swan: We largely see what we imagine we're seeing, and your cybermate may hide a lot from you.
RosalindR: So you think you got involved too fast, Angel?
RosalindR: How did he deceive you?
Angel Swan: In short, what we see on screen could largely be a reflection of our own expectations.
RosalindR: Such as?
Angel Swan: I don't know that I was deceived by him so much as by myself, Rosalind...
RosalindR: Who did you want him to be?
Angel Swan: One must take it slowly, in order not to be overcome by expectation. Do you agree?
Angel Swan: ::chuckle:: I wanted him to be perfect, of course. ;)
RosalindR: Yes, I do. Especially when you're locked in a bad relationship, it's all too easy to
RosalindR: imagine that the person on the other side of the screen is everything you've ever
RosalindR: wanted.
Angel Swan: And perfection is a model we protect *within* ourselves.
RosalindR: So did you ever meet this guy in real life? How did you find out that he wasn't
RosalindR: perfect after all?
Angel Swan: Well... perfection is a relative term... and we could get quite deep quite quickly
Angel Swan: in discussing the subtle forms by which one deceives oneself and another...
RosalindR: Well, I don't want to pry, but part of our purpose here is to protect other people from
RosalindR: falling into the same trap.
Angel Swan: Yes, we talked first, on the phone, and we met... and it was nice...
Angel Swan: ...but it was never what I *was*. ;)
Angel Swan: I advise that one become aware of oneself and the limitations of the medium before becoming
Angel Swan: too heavily involved in a cyberrelationship.
RosalindR: So, Angel, he fell in love with his projection of you just as you fell for an unrealistic
RosalindR: projection of him ...
Angel Swan: Exactly Rosalind. ::smile:: BTW, I have a question...
RosalindR: Shoot!
Angel Swan: I have a women's page at my web site... and I used the executive summary you have posted at
Angel Swan: *your* web site there. Do you mind?
Angel Swan: (http://www.infi.net/~drmatrix/women.html)
RosalindR: You mean you linked to it? That's fine!
Angel Swan: I've linked yo your site, but also put the info up for other to see... with full credit and
Angel Swan: the link.
RosalindR: Sure, that's no problem! Part of my goal in hosting this forum is to get more women
RosalindR: involved in the online world and get a sense of the kinds of issues they want to talk
RosalindR: about online.
Angel Swan: I appreciate that, Rosalind, and admire your work!
Angel Swan: (finished, all! :D)
RosalindR: But, getting back to our original discussion, Angel, is there any more you want to
RosalindR: say or should we ask someone else to share an experience?
Angel Swan: I think I've said it, if not concisely: Be careful, one can be self deceived easily.
RosalindR: Oh, I see that my Mom is in the room. Hi, Mom!
RosalindR: I installed AOL on my Mom's computer when I was back in Philadelphia last weekend.
Angel Swan: LOL
RosalindR: Now, she's even browsing the Web! I'm so proud! :)
Angel Swan: ::applauding Rosalind's Mom::
RosalindR: Actually, my parents met eachother *before* AOL even existed! Wonder how they
RosalindR: did that! ;)
RosalindR: I think they used a technology called paper and ink to communicate their thoughts
RosalindR: and feelings. Took several *days* for their IMs to reach one another! ;)
YanekM: You mean there was life before e-mail??!
CJ Sarah: LOL!
RosalindR: Anyway, getting back to our topic here, I'd be happy to tell you all about how I met
RosalindR: Ryan (he's NetCreator, btw) if anybody cares to know!
NetCreator: ulp!
CJ Sarah: (Oh, please, do tell us!)
Prres: !Hi, Ros! Congratulations on becoming Net Girl...We always thought you were Wonder Woman
RosalindR: Oh, Mom (she's prres)! <blushing>
CJ Sarah: So, NetGirl (RosalindR) give us the goods about your cyber relationships. We want to know!
RosalindR: Well, all right, all right, if you *insist*! Ryan, feel free to jump in at any point!
Angel Swan: ::chuckle::
CJ Sarah: Ryan speak up...the NetGirl has called! :)
RosalindR: Actually, Ryan and I met last September about a month after I split from my husband.
NetCreator: that was a *coincidence*... ;)
CJ Sarah: <<< wants to know how computer guy gets a relationship (Nerds Classified Personals?)
RosalindR: So the rumor that I left my husband for a 25-year-old programmer is completely and
RosalindR: totally false!
Angel Swan: But you were looking, weren't you Rosalind? ;)
NetCreator: Do women *want* 25 year old computer programmers?
RosalindR: Well, I guess I did, but maybe I'm just twisted! ;)
Angel Swan: LOL
RosalindR: I am laughing so hard I can barely type!
RosalindR: Anyway, Ryan and I met last September when he was working as customer support
RosalindR: manager at CyberGate, one of our local Internet access providers. I needed an
RosalindR: offline demo made for a law firm that I was pitching on a Web site.
YanekM: Cybergate, ugh..
RosalindR: Yanek runs a rival Internet access service called SatelNet.
CJ Sarah: LOL!, So did you get any customer service from him or just some great pickup code, Rosalind?
CJ Sarah: (Rivals...the plot thickens..Rosalind, NetCreator, Yanek, Is this an online triangle, or just ...
CJ Sarah: three friends in virtual reality?)
YanekM: No, No, I don't have anything against Ryan, just CyberGate...
RosalindR: Actually, Yanek and I are just friends. <setting the record straight> Frankly, I don't
RosalindR: know what I'd do with *two* computer guys!
RosalindR: One is about as many as I can handle! ;)
NetCreator: (you'd learn alot about the net, eh! ;)
YanekM: And get a dedicated internet circuit for free
RosalindR: Anyway, Ryan and I sat next to each other for about an hour working on the demo
RosalindR: and ... nothing happened.
CJ Dox: Rosalind that's pretty good. Most women don't want to handle *any* computer guys
Angel Swan: ::grinning::
RosalindR: In fact, I didn't think he was even interested in women. Boy, was I wrong!
CJ Sarah: (Oh, so you met in real life BEFORE you had a cyber romance,eh?)
RosalindR: Yes, that's right, we met in real life first.
NetCreator: I'm interested in women who can use computer words without putting a question mark at the
NetCreator: end of every sentence
RosalindR: Anyway, about a month later, I need a programmer to help me with an electronic
RosalindR: publishing project I was working on and Ryan was the only programmer I knew.
Angel Swan: LOL Net Creator.
YanekM: And actually know that RIP means Routing Information Protocol....
RosalindR: So I asked him to help me, and he said sure (for 5 percent of the revenues).
NetCreator: Except for Yanek I am still the only programmer you know ;)
RosalindR: Oh, very funny!
CJ Sarah: Heh, so, how did you move this relationship online, and why? (So you could grow closer?)
NetCreator: We were both online already
NetCreator: and we used the net like a WAN
NetCreator: uh, sorry, Wide Area Network
RosalindR: I'm getting to that! So, over the following two or three months, Ryan and I sent email
RosalindR: back and forth to each other practically every day.
NetCreator: Now that we are in the same house, we use it like a LAN
RosalindR: But it wasn't romantic, mushy stuff. It was just things like, "This GIF is too small"
RosalindR: or "You lost the captions *again*"?
NetCreator: And "when is the project going to be DONE?"
Angel Swan: Cations interruptus?
NetCreator: You have some mind, my dear.
RosalindR: Basically, work-related stuff. I really didn't see any romance developing from it,
RosalindR: to be honest.
CJ Sarah: (Captions interruptus, umhm, Angel Swan!)
Angel Swan: Thanks Net!
RosalindR: Yes, he fell in love with my mind (I guess!), and he wowed me with his dedication
RosalindR: and his programming ability.
NetCreator: I'll even join a chat group for her! ;)
RosalindR: Oh, that's true love! ;)
RosalindR: Anyway, it was the first week in January, and neither of the two guys I was dating
Alexei 02: what is a good web page where I can chat?
RosalindR: at the time was available to go out with me that Saturday night.
NetCreator: " what is a good web page where I can chat?" <---- nope
RosalindR: So I called Ryan and asked him if he would join me for dinner.
RosalindR: I honestly thought it would be strictly business.
Alexei 02: my neighbor said that some web pages have chat options
NetCreator: Alexei02: rare and not very effective
CJ Sarah: (Alexei, yes, there are some web pages w/chat options but that's for another time!)
RosalindR: In fact, I even told him that I was *not* trying to hit on him. Isn't that true?
RosalindR: Hmmm ... well, I'm going to assume by Ryan's silence that he agrees with me. :)
Angel Swan: ::chuckle::
RosalindR: Anyhow, Ryan met me at my house and we went to one of my favorite Italian
RosalindR: restaurants.
NetCreator: Yes, you told me you were 'not trying to seduce me' HA!
JlMBarnes: so what happened?
RosalindR: Yes, I did say something like that, but, honestly, I really didn't even imagine that a
RosalindR: 25-year-old single guy would be interested in a 36-year-old Mom with two kids.
CJ Sarah: Sorry, Rosalind, Alexei has a question.
Alexei 02: yes I do where can I find a web page with chat option
RosalindR: Alexi, you have a question?
NetCreator: try www.infoseek.com and look for WebChat.. .go there now
RosalindR: Actually, there are plenty of sites that offer Web Chat.
Alexei 02: thanks
RosalindR: ESPNET SportsZone has several.
RosalindR: Anyway, back to my dinner with Ryan. There we were, sitting across the table from
RosalindR: one another when it began to dawn on me that, despite our difference in age,
RosalindR: Ryan and I had so many things in common. The Internet, of course, but also our
RosalindR: desire to run our own business and live our lives as free and independent people.
RosalindR: And I also began to realize that he was a helluva lot cuter than I remembered.
QuakerJack: To find the cybermate of your dreams you have to talk one on one not one on twenty.
RosalindR: Anyway, I invited him to join me for a movie -- Pulp Fiction -- and then we went back to
RosalindR: my place. And the rest, as they say, is history. ;)
CJ Sarah: Whew, Rosalind, a great start!
RosalindR: Since March, we've been living together and running a Web design business called
RosalindR: NetCreations.
QuakerJack: How was pulp fiction for a first date?
NetCreator: Violent
CJ Sarah: So, how to you recommend that others find the cyber relationship of their dreams?
RosalindR: Actually, we ended up leaving Pulp Fiction half way through. As I recall, we had
RosalindR: better things to do! ;)
NetCreator: Find someone with complimentary talents, not identical!
RosalindR: So that's our story! Anybody else want to share one?
VSIW: <------ still looking for the cybermate of my dreams :(
RosalindR: VSIW, you're still looking? Where have you searched?
ARJ2: So Rosalind how do we find the mate of our dreams no one is saying anything
VSIW: Have been pounding the "cyberhighway" for over a year!
CJ Sarah: Rosalind, Mansuetude has a comment and a question.
RosalindR: Sure, go ahead!
Mansuetude: Question: What about meeting people online "blind," without meeting in person first?....
Mansuetude: Who do you trust? Who do you avoid?
RosalindR: Actually, I think that meeting online first (as opposed to f2f) can be really healthy.
VSIW: I've met "lots" of men in person from AOL....no luck yet.
NetCreator: VSIW <--- whats your goal?
RosalindR: That way, you don't get caught up in physical appearances, how much money the
RosalindR: person makes, etc.
RosalindR: You can get to know them for who they really are.
NetCreator: I am interested more in what the person *creates* online, than what they *say*
NetCreator: about themselves
RosalindR: Now, let me ask all of you: What do you think of chat rooms as a way to meet people?
RosalindR: Does it work? Do you find quality people?
VSIW: I would like to meet a guy who wants a committed relationship.
Glasair07: ! so how do you find a cybermate of your dreams?
RosalindR: Does anyone have any war stories to share? Anybody who had a really *disastrous*
RosalindR: encounter with somebody they met online?
CJ Sarah: YanekM has a comment.
YanekM: This is in response to question about chat rooms.....
YanekM: I think that e-mail and newsgroups are a better way to get to know someone...
RosalindR: OK, tell us why.
YanekM: These media give more time for thought, editing, and a pause between message and "instant"
YanekM: response.. GA
RosalindR: Yanek, I think that's a good point! As you can see from this chat room, things can
RosalindR: get kind of crazy sometimes!
CJ Sarah: ARJ2 has a question, Rosalind.
RosalindR: OK, go ahead!
ARJ2: How do I find the cybermate of my dreams
RosalindR: Can you be more specific?
ARJ2: I have been in numerous rooms and have not been able to hook up with anyone
NetCreator: ARJ2, are you M or F and what are you looking for.
RosalindR: Have you IMd them? What did you say?
Bed4rent: ARJ2, First you must define your dream?
RosalindR: Wait, let's get back to ARJ2's question. How do you go about connecting with
RosalindR: someone in a chat room?
RAMBIS319: no the right person? I mean the one that you thing is real might be a porno king!!!!
RosalindR: I know it's harder for guys, because women automatically think that you're trying to
RosalindR: hit on them. You *are* a guy, I assume.
NetCreator: It seems to me like most guys *are* trying to hit on someone...
RosalindR: first of all, are you M?
RAMBIS319: yes
RosalindR: Anyway, I can tell you that, as a woman, the thing that impresses me the most is when
RosalindR: I meet a guy online who actually has something interesting to say.
Angel Swan: ::nodding to Rosalind::
RosalindR: Once I met a guy in an AOL chat room who IMd me with a pickup line like,
NetCreator: Same here, it's refreshing to meet someone with something intelligent to say.
Aporia6327: thanks Rosalind, good one
RosalindR: "What color is your bra?"
GO U OF F: heh
RosalindR: That was a total turnoff!
Angel Swan: That's a typical IM, Rosalind.
RosalindR: I know it's typical. but that doesn't mean I accept it.
RosalindR: I would have been more impressed by a guy who sent me something funny, the
RosalindR: latest Windows 95 joke or something like that!
Da Man1500: Ok,Im a 15yr old teen. Male, whats the best way to find a girl I like to talk to?
SPlDERMAN1: How do you make a relationship work when you are over 2000 mile apart?
Locke29548: email
Da Man1500: Sure.
GO U OF F: Not really a relationship... call it what you want, but it is not!
YanekM: Some Frequent Flyer Miles would help, SpiderMan :) Other than that, try I-Phone...
YanekM: A program that lets you talk voice over the Internet, with no LD charges
NetCreator: I'm not sure a relationship can work over 2000 miles apart... Well I guess it depends on
NetCreator: what kind of relationship you want to maintain....
RosalindR: OK, I'll answer Da Man first. I think the best way is to hang in a chat room or forum
RosalindR: on a topic that interests you. The NetGirl Forum has a teens area where you can post
RosalindR: messages for other teens to see.
Da Man1500: Ill go look,AND post! Thanx!
RosalindR: As for the LD relationship, I agree that Internet Phone is great, but not all
RosalindR: relationships can be sustained virtually.
Festus 523: Why do people put so much pressure on theirselves to to meet people.
RosalindR: Sounds to me like some plane tickets are in order!
Da Man1500: Not many teen girls use I-PHONE.
Da Man1500: Not many at all! Usually 50 year old men.
NetCreator: Festus: I know what you mean... If people would just get LIVES, they'd meet other
NetCreator: people who had lives
RosalindR: Either that or get into the Internet business like Ryan and I are so you can work
RosalindR: and live anywhere!
GO U OF F: Why don't you guys go to parties in your area... there are always girls there.
Da Man1500: I do.
Da Man1500: But its harder for me to talk to girls in person.
Da Man1500: I am mor eopen on-line.
RosalindR: One more thing: I think it's really important to get out and meet people f2f.
Da Man1500: F2f?
WLL PE: face to face
RosalindR: Online is great, but life will never be completely virtual (and shouldn't be).
Angel Swan: I agree Rosalind!
Da Man1500: Oh,ok...yeah. Thats the best way.
Shellmaker: the most important thing is to be a good "we" you have to be a good "me"
RosalindR: But meeting people online is a good way to screen out people you'd rather not get
RosalindR: to know any better!
GO U OF F: So go out with some of your guys friends and their girl friends... This should help some.
Da Man1500: OK, Thannx Rosalind AND GO U OF F!
GO U OF F: Anytime... Don't be afraid of the ladies!
RosalindR: Thank *you* for coming to my conference!
NetCreator: I don't really hang out with people that I don't know online. I don't have anything in
NetCreator: common, we can't relate on my passion of passions
RosalindR: What are you talking about?
Angel Swan: ::applauding:: Thank you Rosalind! This was marvelous! ::big smile::
RosalindR: Thanks, it's been fun! :)
LROLSTON: I wonder if more men than women have a hard time being honest on-line
CJ Sarah: I believe you will be joining us again, soon for another chat?
RosalindR: Thanks for coming everybody! Please join me tomorrow night at 9 PM when we talk
RosalindR: about the real-life dangers of cybersex!
CJ Sarah: Your Host is RosalindR. Our topic is "How to find the cybermate of your dreams."
CJ Nyte: We'll be starting on the hour folks. Pull up a chair, and don't spill the popcorn.
RosalindR: Hi, everybody!
RosalindR: The purpose of tonight's conference is to share our experiences in meeting people
RosalindR: in cyberspace.
RosalindR: Joining me tonight are two of *my* cyber-friends, Ryan Scott and Yanek
RosalindR: Martinson.
YanekM: Hello there...
Angel Swan: Hi! :smile::
CJ Sarah: Welcome, all!
RosalindR: Ryan and I met on the Net (sort of), and now we're living and working happily
RosalindR: ever after. Yanek is one of our business associates, and he, too, has a story to
RosalindR: share.
YanekM: I do?
RosalindR: But, before we tell you all about us, does anybody else out there have a cyber-love
RosalindR: story to tell?
RosalindR: Nobody? For me, it's hard to imagine that somebody could be online for more than
RosalindR: a couple of days and not fall in love with someone. ;)
Angel Swan: ?
CJ Nyte: Angel: Your question
Angel Swan: Are you looking for stories of *successful* romances, Rosalind? :D
Angel Swan: 'ga
RosalindR: By "successful," you mean those that ended with two people strolling hand in hand
RosalindR: toward the virtual sunset? No, not necessarily!
Angel Swan: Yep... those that don't end in bitterness, disappointment and retribution. ;)
RosalindR: Hmmm ... sounds like you've been through a few. What happened?
Angel Swan: Hmmm... well, the online world is a strange place.. one does *not* wish to get involved with
Angel Swan: another person romantically for at least a year after having arrived.
Angel Swan: We largely see what we imagine we're seeing, and your cybermate may hide a lot from you.
RosalindR: So you think you got involved too fast, Angel?
RosalindR: How did he deceive you?
Angel Swan: In short, what we see on screen could largely be a reflection of our own expectations.
RosalindR: Such as?
Angel Swan: I don't know that I was deceived by him so much as by myself, Rosalind...
RosalindR: Who did you want him to be?
Angel Swan: One must take it slowly, in order not to be overcome by expectation. Do you agree?
Angel Swan: ::chuckle:: I wanted him to be perfect, of course. ;)
RosalindR: Yes, I do. Especially when you're locked in a bad relationship, it's all too easy to
RosalindR: imagine that the person on the other side of the screen is everything you've ever
RosalindR: wanted.
Angel Swan: And perfection is a model we protect *within* ourselves.
RosalindR: So did you ever meet this guy in real life? How did you find out that he wasn't
RosalindR: perfect after all?
Angel Swan: Well... perfection is a relative term... and we could get quite deep quite quickly
Angel Swan: in discussing the subtle forms by which one deceives oneself and another...
RosalindR: Well, I don't want to pry, but part of our purpose here is to protect other people from
RosalindR: falling into the same trap.
Angel Swan: Yes, we talked first, on the phone, and we met... and it was nice...
Angel Swan: ...but it was never what I *was*. ;)
Angel Swan: I advise that one become aware of oneself and the limitations of the medium before becoming
Angel Swan: too heavily involved in a cyberrelationship.
RosalindR: So, Angel, he fell in love with his projection of you just as you fell for an unrealistic
RosalindR: projection of him ...
Angel Swan: Exactly Rosalind. ::smile:: BTW, I have a question...
RosalindR: Shoot!
Angel Swan: I have a women's page at my web site... and I used the executive summary you have posted at
Angel Swan: *your* web site there. Do you mind?
Angel Swan: (http://www.infi.net/~drmatrix/women.html)
RosalindR: You mean you linked to it? That's fine!
Angel Swan: I've linked yo your site, but also put the info up for other to see... with full credit and
Angel Swan: the link.
RosalindR: Sure, that's no problem! Part of my goal in hosting this forum is to get more women
RosalindR: involved in the online world and get a sense of the kinds of issues they want to talk
RosalindR: about online.
Angel Swan: I appreciate that, Rosalind, and admire your work!
Angel Swan: (finished, all! :D)
RosalindR: But, getting back to our original discussion, Angel, is there any more you want to
RosalindR: say or should we ask someone else to share an experience?
Angel Swan: I think I've said it, if not concisely: Be careful, one can be self deceived easily.
RosalindR: Oh, I see that my Mom is in the room. Hi, Mom!
RosalindR: I installed AOL on my Mom's computer when I was back in Philadelphia last weekend.
Angel Swan: LOL
RosalindR: Now, she's even browsing the Web! I'm so proud! :)
Angel Swan: ::applauding Rosalind's Mom::
RosalindR: Actually, my parents met eachother *before* AOL even existed! Wonder how they
RosalindR: did that! ;)
RosalindR: I think they used a technology called paper and ink to communicate their thoughts
RosalindR: and feelings. Took several *days* for their IMs to reach one another! ;)
YanekM: You mean there was life before e-mail??!
CJ Sarah: LOL!
RosalindR: Anyway, getting back to our topic here, I'd be happy to tell you all about how I met
RosalindR: Ryan (he's NetCreator, btw) if anybody cares to know!
NetCreator: ulp!
CJ Sarah: (Oh, please, do tell us!)
Prres: !Hi, Ros! Congratulations on becoming Net Girl...We always thought you were Wonder Woman
RosalindR: Oh, Mom (she's prres)! <blushing>
CJ Sarah: So, NetGirl (RosalindR) give us the goods about your cyber relationships. We want to know!
RosalindR: Well, all right, all right, if you *insist*! Ryan, feel free to jump in at any point!
Angel Swan: ::chuckle::
CJ Sarah: Ryan speak up...the NetGirl has called! :)
RosalindR: Actually, Ryan and I met last September about a month after I split from my husband.
NetCreator: that was a *coincidence*... ;)
CJ Sarah: <<< wants to know how computer guy gets a relationship (Nerds Classified Personals?)
RosalindR: So the rumor that I left my husband for a 25-year-old programmer is completely and
RosalindR: totally false!
Angel Swan: But you were looking, weren't you Rosalind? ;)
NetCreator: Do women *want* 25 year old computer programmers?
RosalindR: Well, I guess I did, but maybe I'm just twisted! ;)
Angel Swan: LOL
RosalindR: I am laughing so hard I can barely type!
RosalindR: Anyway, Ryan and I met last September when he was working as customer support
RosalindR: manager at CyberGate, one of our local Internet access providers. I needed an
RosalindR: offline demo made for a law firm that I was pitching on a Web site.
YanekM: Cybergate, ugh..
RosalindR: Yanek runs a rival Internet access service called SatelNet.
CJ Sarah: LOL!, So did you get any customer service from him or just some great pickup code, Rosalind?
CJ Sarah: (Rivals...the plot thickens..Rosalind, NetCreator, Yanek, Is this an online triangle, or just ...
CJ Sarah: three friends in virtual reality?)
YanekM: No, No, I don't have anything against Ryan, just CyberGate...
RosalindR: Actually, Yanek and I are just friends. <setting the record straight> Frankly, I don't
RosalindR: know what I'd do with *two* computer guys!
RosalindR: One is about as many as I can handle! ;)
NetCreator: (you'd learn alot about the net, eh! ;)
YanekM: And get a dedicated internet circuit for free
RosalindR: Anyway, Ryan and I sat next to each other for about an hour working on the demo
RosalindR: and ... nothing happened.
CJ Dox: Rosalind that's pretty good. Most women don't want to handle *any* computer guys
Angel Swan: ::grinning::
RosalindR: In fact, I didn't think he was even interested in women. Boy, was I wrong!
CJ Sarah: (Oh, so you met in real life BEFORE you had a cyber romance,eh?)
RosalindR: Yes, that's right, we met in real life first.
NetCreator: I'm interested in women who can use computer words without putting a question mark at the
NetCreator: end of every sentence
RosalindR: Anyway, about a month later, I need a programmer to help me with an electronic
RosalindR: publishing project I was working on and Ryan was the only programmer I knew.
Angel Swan: LOL Net Creator.
YanekM: And actually know that RIP means Routing Information Protocol....
RosalindR: So I asked him to help me, and he said sure (for 5 percent of the revenues).
NetCreator: Except for Yanek I am still the only programmer you know ;)
RosalindR: Oh, very funny!
CJ Sarah: Heh, so, how did you move this relationship online, and why? (So you could grow closer?)
NetCreator: We were both online already
NetCreator: and we used the net like a WAN
NetCreator: uh, sorry, Wide Area Network
RosalindR: I'm getting to that! So, over the following two or three months, Ryan and I sent email
RosalindR: back and forth to each other practically every day.
NetCreator: Now that we are in the same house, we use it like a LAN
RosalindR: But it wasn't romantic, mushy stuff. It was just things like, "This GIF is too small"
RosalindR: or "You lost the captions *again*"?
NetCreator: And "when is the project going to be DONE?"
Angel Swan: Cations interruptus?
NetCreator: You have some mind, my dear.
RosalindR: Basically, work-related stuff. I really didn't see any romance developing from it,
RosalindR: to be honest.
CJ Sarah: (Captions interruptus, umhm, Angel Swan!)
Angel Swan: Thanks Net!
RosalindR: Yes, he fell in love with my mind (I guess!), and he wowed me with his dedication
RosalindR: and his programming ability.
NetCreator: I'll even join a chat group for her! ;)
RosalindR: Oh, that's true love! ;)
RosalindR: Anyway, it was the first week in January, and neither of the two guys I was dating
Alexei 02: what is a good web page where I can chat?
RosalindR: at the time was available to go out with me that Saturday night.
NetCreator: " what is a good web page where I can chat?" <---- nope
RosalindR: So I called Ryan and asked him if he would join me for dinner.
RosalindR: I honestly thought it would be strictly business.
Alexei 02: my neighbor said that some web pages have chat options
NetCreator: Alexei02: rare and not very effective
CJ Sarah: (Alexei, yes, there are some web pages w/chat options but that's for another time!)
RosalindR: In fact, I even told him that I was *not* trying to hit on him. Isn't that true?
RosalindR: Hmmm ... well, I'm going to assume by Ryan's silence that he agrees with me. :)
Angel Swan: ::chuckle::
RosalindR: Anyhow, Ryan met me at my house and we went to one of my favorite Italian
RosalindR: restaurants.
NetCreator: Yes, you told me you were 'not trying to seduce me' HA!
JlMBarnes: so what happened?
RosalindR: Yes, I did say something like that, but, honestly, I really didn't even imagine that a
RosalindR: 25-year-old single guy would be interested in a 36-year-old Mom with two kids.
CJ Sarah: Sorry, Rosalind, Alexei has a question.
Alexei 02: yes I do where can I find a web page with chat option
RosalindR: Alexi, you have a question?
NetCreator: try www.infoseek.com and look for WebChat.. .go there now
RosalindR: Actually, there are plenty of sites that offer Web Chat.
Alexei 02: thanks
RosalindR: ESPNET SportsZone has several.
RosalindR: Anyway, back to my dinner with Ryan. There we were, sitting across the table from
RosalindR: one another when it began to dawn on me that, despite our difference in age,
RosalindR: Ryan and I had so many things in common. The Internet, of course, but also our
RosalindR: desire to run our own business and live our lives as free and independent people.
RosalindR: And I also began to realize that he was a helluva lot cuter than I remembered.
QuakerJack: To find the cybermate of your dreams you have to talk one on one not one on twenty.
RosalindR: Anyway, I invited him to join me for a movie -- Pulp Fiction -- and then we went back to
RosalindR: my place. And the rest, as they say, is history. ;)
CJ Sarah: Whew, Rosalind, a great start!
RosalindR: Since March, we've been living together and running a Web design business called
RosalindR: NetCreations.
QuakerJack: How was pulp fiction for a first date?
NetCreator: Violent
CJ Sarah: So, how to you recommend that others find the cyber relationship of their dreams?
RosalindR: Actually, we ended up leaving Pulp Fiction half way through. As I recall, we had
RosalindR: better things to do! ;)
NetCreator: Find someone with complimentary talents, not identical!
RosalindR: So that's our story! Anybody else want to share one?
VSIW: <------ still looking for the cybermate of my dreams :(
RosalindR: VSIW, you're still looking? Where have you searched?
ARJ2: So Rosalind how do we find the mate of our dreams no one is saying anything
VSIW: Have been pounding the "cyberhighway" for over a year!
CJ Sarah: Rosalind, Mansuetude has a comment and a question.
RosalindR: Sure, go ahead!
Mansuetude: Question: What about meeting people online "blind," without meeting in person first?....
Mansuetude: Who do you trust? Who do you avoid?
RosalindR: Actually, I think that meeting online first (as opposed to f2f) can be really healthy.
VSIW: I've met "lots" of men in person from AOL....no luck yet.
NetCreator: VSIW <--- whats your goal?
RosalindR: That way, you don't get caught up in physical appearances, how much money the
RosalindR: person makes, etc.
RosalindR: You can get to know them for who they really are.
NetCreator: I am interested more in what the person *creates* online, than what they *say*
NetCreator: about themselves
RosalindR: Now, let me ask all of you: What do you think of chat rooms as a way to meet people?
RosalindR: Does it work? Do you find quality people?
VSIW: I would like to meet a guy who wants a committed relationship.
Glasair07: ! so how do you find a cybermate of your dreams?
RosalindR: Does anyone have any war stories to share? Anybody who had a really *disastrous*
RosalindR: encounter with somebody they met online?
CJ Sarah: YanekM has a comment.
YanekM: This is in response to question about chat rooms.....
YanekM: I think that e-mail and newsgroups are a better way to get to know someone...
RosalindR: OK, tell us why.
YanekM: These media give more time for thought, editing, and a pause between message and "instant"
YanekM: response.. GA
RosalindR: Yanek, I think that's a good point! As you can see from this chat room, things can
RosalindR: get kind of crazy sometimes!
CJ Sarah: ARJ2 has a question, Rosalind.
RosalindR: OK, go ahead!
ARJ2: How do I find the cybermate of my dreams
RosalindR: Can you be more specific?
ARJ2: I have been in numerous rooms and have not been able to hook up with anyone
NetCreator: ARJ2, are you M or F and what are you looking for.
RosalindR: Have you IMd them? What did you say?
Bed4rent: ARJ2, First you must define your dream?
RosalindR: Wait, let's get back to ARJ2's question. How do you go about connecting with
RosalindR: someone in a chat room?
RAMBIS319: no the right person? I mean the one that you thing is real might be a porno king!!!!
RosalindR: I know it's harder for guys, because women automatically think that you're trying to
RosalindR: hit on them. You *are* a guy, I assume.
NetCreator: It seems to me like most guys *are* trying to hit on someone...
RosalindR: first of all, are you M?
RAMBIS319: yes
RosalindR: Anyway, I can tell you that, as a woman, the thing that impresses me the most is when
RosalindR: I meet a guy online who actually has something interesting to say.
Angel Swan: ::nodding to Rosalind::
RosalindR: Once I met a guy in an AOL chat room who IMd me with a pickup line like,
NetCreator: Same here, it's refreshing to meet someone with something intelligent to say.
Aporia6327: thanks Rosalind, good one
RosalindR: "What color is your bra?"
GO U OF F: heh
RosalindR: That was a total turnoff!
Angel Swan: That's a typical IM, Rosalind.
RosalindR: I know it's typical. but that doesn't mean I accept it.
RosalindR: I would have been more impressed by a guy who sent me something funny, the
RosalindR: latest Windows 95 joke or something like that!
Da Man1500: Ok,Im a 15yr old teen. Male, whats the best way to find a girl I like to talk to?
SPlDERMAN1: How do you make a relationship work when you are over 2000 mile apart?
Locke29548: email
Da Man1500: Sure.
GO U OF F: Not really a relationship... call it what you want, but it is not!
YanekM: Some Frequent Flyer Miles would help, SpiderMan :) Other than that, try I-Phone...
YanekM: A program that lets you talk voice over the Internet, with no LD charges
NetCreator: I'm not sure a relationship can work over 2000 miles apart... Well I guess it depends on
NetCreator: what kind of relationship you want to maintain....
RosalindR: OK, I'll answer Da Man first. I think the best way is to hang in a chat room or forum
RosalindR: on a topic that interests you. The NetGirl Forum has a teens area where you can post
RosalindR: messages for other teens to see.
Da Man1500: Ill go look,AND post! Thanx!
RosalindR: As for the LD relationship, I agree that Internet Phone is great, but not all
RosalindR: relationships can be sustained virtually.
Festus 523: Why do people put so much pressure on theirselves to to meet people.
RosalindR: Sounds to me like some plane tickets are in order!
Da Man1500: Not many teen girls use I-PHONE.
Da Man1500: Not many at all! Usually 50 year old men.
NetCreator: Festus: I know what you mean... If people would just get LIVES, they'd meet other
NetCreator: people who had lives
RosalindR: Either that or get into the Internet business like Ryan and I are so you can work
RosalindR: and live anywhere!
GO U OF F: Why don't you guys go to parties in your area... there are always girls there.
Da Man1500: I do.
Da Man1500: But its harder for me to talk to girls in person.
Da Man1500: I am mor eopen on-line.
RosalindR: One more thing: I think it's really important to get out and meet people f2f.
Da Man1500: F2f?
WLL PE: face to face
RosalindR: Online is great, but life will never be completely virtual (and shouldn't be).
Angel Swan: I agree Rosalind!
Da Man1500: Oh,ok...yeah. Thats the best way.
Shellmaker: the most important thing is to be a good "we" you have to be a good "me"
RosalindR: But meeting people online is a good way to screen out people you'd rather not get
RosalindR: to know any better!
GO U OF F: So go out with some of your guys friends and their girl friends... This should help some.
Da Man1500: OK, Thannx Rosalind AND GO U OF F!
GO U OF F: Anytime... Don't be afraid of the ladies!
RosalindR: Thank *you* for coming to my conference!
NetCreator: I don't really hang out with people that I don't know online. I don't have anything in
NetCreator: common, we can't relate on my passion of passions
RosalindR: What are you talking about?
Angel Swan: ::applauding:: Thank you Rosalind! This was marvelous! ::big smile::
RosalindR: Thanks, it's been fun! :)
LROLSTON: I wonder if more men than women have a hard time being honest on-line
CJ Sarah: I believe you will be joining us again, soon for another chat?
RosalindR: Thanks for coming everybody! Please join me tomorrow night at 9 PM when we talk
RosalindR: about the real-life dangers of cybersex!
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