The Scarlet Woman

The Magical Record of

The Scarlet Woman

Alostrael 31-666-31

Leah Hirsig

From January 15, 1924

December 27, 1924 e.v.

Mss Diaries of Disciples

Leah Hirsig

Cat No. DD1

Alostrael's Visions

Copied from Diaries of

The Beast 666 and Alostrael 31-666-31

beginning Luna [Monday] October 29, 1923 e.v.

(Luna in 1o Aries, An. xix)

Nefta, Tunisie Cefalu, Sicily

(Visions continued)

Note - These visions recorded by myself are quite insuffi-

cient, fragmentary, and concentration bad.

I.E Jan. 15. (L)

Concentrating on War Engine. Nothing except a reference to

CCXX, III.26.

II. F Jan. 17. (22L)

9 PM: During and after Amoun Invocation I asked for Light

(IEHI AUD). Thin stalked leaves with heavy birds on them as

in a previous vision. I said ``I understand'' and had a

feeling of something definitely accomplished.

Sater - Preliminary invocation.

Started vision but couldn't hold it. A lion turned into a

beetle which was really a sun

7o = 4o

asked for someone of higher grade

8o = 3o XI - a Dog. And no more!

III. C Jan. 18.

9 PM Ra-Hoor-Khuit Invocation. Asked for light. stir not

(heard). Elixir (seen)

IV. G Jan. 19.

5:30 PM Preliminary Invocation (33L) War Engine Met a dragon

- who looked mild after

Flashes of A, etc. A man - his name - AUM - 84 Showed me

that War Enging was of metal (very fine), and to be hurled.

Not electricity. Danger of being seen hurling? No.

V.A Jan. 20.

7:30-8:30 (?) PM - A period of silence in which to invoke

Neptune to look after OPV and Mss. An anchor and a white

bird flying over it.

VI. Sater - Preliminary Invocation

Concentration - W.E.

(I forget much of what I saw. A man in a simple dark

robe carrying a red heart appeared eventually and

showed me a room where a man, a woman, and a child

were eating in a very poor room. I got the impression

that the W.E. energy would be got for us from by such

a person - 93 changed the room and it was illuminated

by an 11 pointed star.)

I was shown a rocky country - perhaps Russia - presumably

the place where the energy would be found or created. More -

but nothing definite.

VII. (grass) B 11:15 AM Jan. 22(?)

OPV's S. Complex had nothing to do with me personally in

particular - it was merely the ``longing to be planted.'' He

makes this an excuse for not doing things.

VIII. 5:30 PM (11 L)

Clear vision - nothing.

IX. Jan. 24 (22 dr: L.)

4:30 PM - Preliminary Invocation Ra-Hoor-Khuit Invocation

Ragged - Disconnected. O seem as a spherical object.

Man in dark robe - red heart - in long room richly decorated

and with a long table in it. Couldn't hold vision - trav-

elled over all sorts of country, but nothing definite: 5:00

X.Jan 30. 2:15 PM (Grass)

I have the True Intrepretation of A Dillar, a Dollar, etc.

XI. C Feb. 8

[This began a series of 11 ceremonies invoking R.H.K.]

An excellent Pentagram. Read Chapter III, CCXX - Impromptu

invocation of R.H.K. asking for Light on Chapter III. All

this, the reading I got a strong impression that the printed

copies of CCXX should not bt used or circulate. I very

nearly destroyed my own. We must fulfil CCXX - III before

anything else.

Invocation of RA-HOOR-KHUIT

O Thou God of War and of Vengence, Hear me, Alostrael, etc.

who invokes Thee to help us to do Thy Work.

Be Thou our strength, our force, and vigor of our arms,

as Unit is our refuge, and Hadit our Light, that we

may go on, go on, in Thy strength, and fight as brothers.

Hear me, Thou Lord of the Double Wand of Power. Unto Thee

do I eat this cake of light, that it may breed lust

and power of lust in me.

Hear Thou me, O Lord of Silence and of Strength. Show me Thy

way that I may follow Thee in it.

Give Thou of Thy Wisdom to Our Lord, The Beast 666, whom

Nuit has called her Scribe, Ankh-af-na-khonsu, the Priest of

Princes; whom Hadit Hails at the Prophet of Nu, the Prophet

of Had, the Prophet of Ra-Hoor-Khu; and whom Thou hast

termed O Blessed Beast, that He may comment with his Three-

fold Book of Law with hadit burning in his heart.

Thee, in whose name is hidden and glorious, a splendor

I Invoke, I greet

Thy presence, O Ra-Hoor-Khuit.

Unity uttermost showed!

I adore the might of Thy breath.

Supreme and terrible God

That maketh the Gods and death

To tremble before Thee: -

I adore Thee.

Appear on the throne of Ra!

Open the ways of the Khu!

Lighten the ways of the Ka

The ways of the Khabs run through

To stir me or to still me!

Aum! Let it fill me!

XII. G Feb 9 (Grass & L)

Wrote Invocation - used it in Pentagram - Very forceful.

Grass

1. Our ``island'' should be governed by the ``Wise men''

Defined - Those who have a knowledge of Nature, i.e.,

Initiate:

2.1 2 wise men; 1 Philosopher

2 Poet

3 Fighter (practical)

4 Fighter (strategical)

5 Agriculturist

6 Scientist

7 Priest

8 Historian

9 Mechanic

10 Saw Worker

11 Psychologist

12 Medicine Man

Our island - low, flat tongue of land, mountains in back-

ground (real colony). Another shore wooded, birds, nothing

distinctive, might be anywhere.

XIII. A Feb. 10

Invocation - Sabatini (Born July 8, 1899, Palermo 4:30 PM)

in sort of trance.

XIV. K Feb. 11

Invocation - Vision Sabitini

Vision #1, Arturo Sabatini

He sees a white house. Inside the house are lignted candles.

There are 5 people, 3 steps, 6 candles. There is a rug on

the floor. A domed roof. An image of bronze. One man with a

beard, clothed in a blue cape, and on hishead a white mitre

embroidered with gold. His belt is as his mitre. A statue of

(?) Thelema - has a long cap on its head. The seer sees only

half of this figure. He is 62,000 miles away from Cefalu.

Where? (In our country). On addressing the bearded man

(93), the reply is: A prophet -

BROVIE

His name

BENY

Then a cloud gradually enveloped the entire scene, and the

seer returned to earth making the Sign of Harpocrates.

XV. E Feb. 12

3 pipes concentrating on ``Strength from R.H.K.'' 8 PM Invo-

cation (Pentagram). Vision #2 Sabitini:

Vision No. 2. Arturo Sabatini

In the desert - hear the sea - a white cloth very high.

Little by little the cloth becomes transparent. Behind it is

a fire - something burning (2 pieces of wood ranged as a

cross). High flame. Many people - some of them black, naked,

and hold spears in their hands. They dance round the fire. A

man is tied to the pieces of wood; the wind moves the flames

- he sees an arm. Flames disappear gradually. The people are

laughing - sitting in a circle. The fire is out. They all

rise and take the ashes and scatter them over the desert.

The cloth again - it becomes more and more opaque. Darkness.

This means?

A black shadow tells Arturo to explain it himself. He says

418

and asks his name.

NECH 3

He appears to the seer because he saw him. His message?

93 93/93

He will talk to Arturo when he is alone doing meditation. He

says he can't talk now. He has gone away. He is one of the 5

of last night's vision.

Arturo now finds himself walking on a path among palms - no

houses.

XVI. B Feb. 13

3 pipes, 22 L. - Worship Hadit. Wine - Worship Nuit. No Pen-

tagram.

XVII. F Feb. 14

3:10 PM Msbtn. Reverence to R.H.K.

Pentagram Ritual 8:10 PM - Sabitini Vision:

Vision No. 3. Arturo Sabitini

I ask him to try to get BENY of first vision. No result.

He sees an island - ships - men. People coming to and fro,

men working on walls.

Name of island? NAD (Written by Seer who knows no Greek).

They are busy building walls.

93 418

bring no reply. They finish work.

Why is the seer here?

He is assisting. A force carried him there. When the work is

finished he will get message. They are fortifying.

Ne now sees the island more clearly. There are large trees -

mountains in the background. It is a new island. Large - it

has a long low promentory. The central part is high. 1000

leagues from the shore.

Ships - 11 large ones and one small one. This latter has a

tent effect in the middle. These boats are all carrying

materials.

93 93/93

The men all bow their heads.

XVIII. C

3:10 PM Msbtd. - Reverence to R.H.K. V.L. took oath to go on

with his Prob. work.

XIX. G Feb 16.

Pentagram Ritual. Ninette read Chapter III. 4 PM 22L.

Worship of R.H.K.

A Feb. 17

4 PM. 22L. Asana, Preliminary Invocation. R.H.K. Invocation.

Pentagram Ritual. Mantra after Invocation. Very fine. A bird

form with a serpent's head appears. It became a hawk (418)

facing me. I got some word or other, but not distinct or

distinctive enough to remember.

Asana till 9:16 (24 minutes) and didn't know it.

Arturo has not appeared! Hausi said ``I saw you talking with

R.H.K.''

K Feb. 18

Pentagram - Invocation. Idea to write Maude Whitney!!!

E Feb 19

Pentagram Ritual. 8:45 (last of 11 Invocations to R.H.K.)

also welcome of A into ]. Arturo arrived a few minutes

before (after a day and a night in jail). 5 gr X. 3 L. 11H

(to sample and inspire). Good invocation.

9 PM ``I hereby declare that the A has entered the sign of ]

and we shall celebrate this event after the ceremony with a

feast, as being one step nearer to the accomplishment of the

G.W., the Estab. of the L. of T.''

I ended the invocation with ``May He deal hardly with them,

and we go on, go on in His Strength.''

Feast - champagne, cognac, in which we got very drunk.

A Feb 24

All day invoking and worshipping Hadit.

7:56-8:08 - concentration. General stillness of body and

mind.

8:13-25 - Old mantra - Oh so easy though.

B Feb 27

Reviewed Oath. Concentration - N.G.

G Mar 1

Msbtd - (alone, Dionysus) R.M. from W. Took CDN.

A Mar 2

Msbtd. - R.M. from W. 5 PM 11 L. CCXX-III. 5:19 Bornless One

- Mantra - Asana (16 mins).

K Mar 3

22 L. before Tea. 10:22 PM Verse to concentrate on is: II-

53. Thou art emphatically my chosen one ...

E Mar 4

Grass. Even a fellow with a keen sense of humor cannot

appreciate the sense of humor in the fellow under grass.

B Mar 5

2 goes of L. 3 Cdn. - no noticeable effects. 8:40 PM CDN.

G Mar 6

1 PM Invocation Jupiter. Letter to Bill OPV Windram. Tele.

to S.P. (on Altar) Renewed Oath.

C Mar 7

Msbtd. again & again. M O N E Y.

G Mar 8

1 PM Invocation of R.H.K. prefaced by Oath as per CCXX - III

- 44.

B Mar 12

After grass and lunch. Lust of Result - Can (verb in impera-

tive mode) be object or purose (be sure it is caused and not

lost) concentrate on the act or subject or what not, enjoy

it fully - but keep the object or purpose well carried.

F Mar 13

Splendid Invocation of Jupiter. Cable rent to S.P. on next

morning as just before ceremony the Telegraph boys told us

800 lire had arrived from OPV.

G Mar 15

Preached Law to Prof. ... from Palermno. 8:20 PM Pentagram

Ritual alone - renewing Oath - taking S.W. Oath - (3 CDN).

A Mar 16

Msbtd. 100 Pounds from S.P. 6:40 PM Opus I - C. (A. Saba-

tini). 100 Pounds from S.P.

E Mar 18

Msbtd. Physical relief. Preached Law to 6 Monks at Gihal

mamma.

B Mar 19

2:15 PM 11 L. (1 CDN) Concentration - III - 44 - 1st part.

Read Resolution & write Beresford. 6:10 PM (real time 5:30 -

clocks crazy) 11 L. 1 CDN. concentrating on Word of Equinox

- Began R.H.K. Invocation, but only got 2 or 3 words going

when

NOV

and then completed

NOVEM

flashed through my mind. Inspiration to write D'Annunzio and

send him a copy of Mortadello.

F Mar 20

Reply from S.P. - unintelliglble! but not money. Pentagram

Ritual 9 PM - I declare in the absence of the Beast that the

Password of the Past 6 mos. was no longer valid and that I

accepted the word (not mentioning it) subject to the

approval of The Beast. 10:30 PM. Opus III (C) A.S. and

Ninette - A perfect Operation of Love under Will. Object:

COMPLETE RECOVERY OF OUR LORD THE BEAST.

G Mar 22

3 PM - 22 L. (Concentration) A letter to G. D'Annunzio.

Result - an inscription in Mortadello as follows:

93 to G.D'A. from The S.W., the concubine of the B. 666

(commonly called Aleister Crowley) who in May of last year

was expelled from Italy seuza ragione data that the great

Italian Poet may meditate more deeply on the deplorable con-

dition of his country which has been the home of English

poets for centuries.

Abbey of T. Cefalu 93 93/93 A in , Ano XX - Aeon of Horus.

PARIS

Apr 1

22 L. To concentrate my thoughts preparatory to seeing A.C.

Result - All thoughts fled leaving me with

``My whole being calls out to you to see us thro' this

crisis.''

I used this as my opening speech and then the ideas flowed.

Apr 3

Letters - inspired ones. Later 13 L. Renewed my Oath after

losing my head re K & C of H.G.A.

``Part of my Formula is the 4th Power of the Sphinx.''

I also felt (for the first time) purged of the Oaths taken

and broken (June 1920).

Apr 6

Said good-bye to a part of myself that I have long wanted to

lose: self-pity and a feeling of inferiority.

Apr 8

What shall I do re Barucier's demand ``Pay or go by G?''

Immediate response: ``Do nothing, Trust the Gods!''

And I followed this in perfect faith.

Apr 11 C

I fully decided to take the injunction of Apr 8 literally &

I have stuck to it. I wait for an unmistakable sign, till I

do anything further.

Apr 13 A

666 better!!!

Apr 15 E

22 L. Result - Ninette should not send her deeds to the Old

Grandmother.

Apr 16 B to Apr 20 K

Representative for Cecil Jones called. Moneys came in from

several sources.

Apr 23 B

Msbtd. - Light (No results as far as I can see.)

Apr 27 A

Yi - What shall be my immediate action? Ans. Air of Air

LXII, Act as circumstances warrant. Some great change com-

ing. Be pliable, elastic, but penetrating, ready to take

advantage of anything that turns up.

Mantra - Unity, etc.

Two quite foreign thoughts in the midst of the usually ordi-

nary message:

1 Coney Island - I there suddenly

2 I playing Funeral March from Beethoven. This brought

about ``normal thoughts'' re OPV death of 666, ---, also of

child - and the Mantra stopped.

Apr 28 A

Formulated

May 1919 E.J. Feast - Poupee conceived

20 Little Boy conceived (Cefalu)

21 Ceremony I.

22 London - D.F.

23 Explusion - Tunis.

24 ? Vavin

Poupee - A.C. Paris, LT. A.C. Paris, R.L.'s death, A.C.

Paris beat B.

Apr 29

666 delivered his message to Mary Butts & we talked to Cecil

Maitland.

Apr 30

Beast very ill - a part of last spasm, for

F May 1, 1924,

we were ejected from 50 rue Vavine, and the query above (Apr

28) for 1924 could be filled in. Also see Yi Divination Apr.

27!!!

May 1-20

We nursed the child at 6 Rue Jolin. Cecil Jones coming to

terms slowly. OPV thro' the worst of his troubles.

May 10

A break-down threatened us.

May 16

Sullivan, Kennedy, Cul Solar & Jones, the American lawyer! -

Three kings + !!!

May 14

Take Oath to cast out pride from my heart. Cut AK on my left

forearm - Invoked R.H.K. and said over and over again

``There is a need for blood.''

May 15

Xol Solar Signed Oath in Silence Diary. Several moneys have

come in.

May 19

Re: news of possible expulsion of all from Cefalu. 11:45 AM

Cannot sleep. Thoughts troubling me. Then I wrote:

1. 1920-21 666 had the opportunity of ``Sacrificing'' the

C.P. Stock - i.e., heaving it circulated with what appeared

a great loss to him.

2. Explusion of whole colony - It is up to the Gods to

``save'' the ``valuables'' there. See my Diary for more of

this.

Expenses at Hotel for 12 days = 573.00. For 1 Day = 47.75

per day.

May 20 E

Chellas S. at M. Retirement started.

May 21

Jones is giving in.

May 24

I want to do away with the words Science & Art.

May 27

Visit to Com. of Police. Keys.

10:00 PM Opus I 666 - Successful retirement.

May 30

10:00 PM Opus II - 31-666-31 - Msbtd. Help for V.L. (who is

very ill).

May 31

XUL Solar came out (8:30?) PM and rushed back to Paris.

Pd. Hotel 535.75+25.25+12(tips)=573.00 Fr

from May 20 - June 1 i.e., for 12 days.

Also several meals out, not recorded (Paris trip, etc) but

will keep weekly account beginning tomorrow.

Magical Diary of Alostrael 31-666-31

``Au Cadran Blue'' Chelles, Seine et Marne, France

June 1, 1924 e.v. 10:30 PM A

XUL Solar has not yet shown up. He needs a severe programme.

Today, I spent most of my time writing a long letter with

enclosures of various kinds to O.P.V., also copying letter

to Alabama people. The daily payment plan is already getting

on my nerves. Tired, but not nervous.

June 2 9 AM K

Raining again. Breakfast at 8:15. 666 gone back to sleep. I

continue with my letters:

Fire Water

12:30 PM My opinion is that one does not really get a shot

at one's complexes until one has managed to eliminate the

influences of convention.

1:25 PM 6 dr G. + rum + wine at lunch.

2:40 PM (after lunch) Quite uncomfortable - but 666 wants

his books from the P.O., so after telling him a fet thoughts

(re later) I went. Returned - raining like hell - Tea. Ideas

connected with convention and complex. To get at people's

``conventions'' trouble I suggest two main lines:

1 for the simple - ask the question ``What troubles you

most in life.''

2 for the more complex animal - Force him with a list of

all the crimes? possible and ask him to mention the one that

he thinks worst ``wicked'' or ``disgusting'' or some such

term.

Ate no dinner. Bed early, after short walk.

June 3 E 9:50 AM

All ready to go to Paris. I await letter from Pre Catalan.

June 4 B 11 AM

I went to Paris and everything seemed to go wrong - but I

survived it. Bed at 9.

Long dreams - woke at 3 AM and then slept until around 7.

My fountain pen has arrived. Behold the result!

Yes, I called on Xul Solar - he was ``in bed'' as usual. I

waited 12 minutes and then beat it ... I await an answer!

Dictation from 3 to 7 (with tea in between). 666 in bed all

day, not ill, but oh so tired! Raining like hell all day -

bloody weather.

9 PM 666 & Ethyl - How I hate this business starting again!

It is a beastly stink to those not using it. I have been

trying all day to sew a bib. Everytime I get the thing in my

hands something or somebody interrupts.

June 5 2:30 PM F

A short resume.

Last night 666 & Ethyl wanted a quite dark room so I sat me

at the window and drank rum, smoked cigarettes until Cadram

began to cut up. He ran away from Marie and hid under our

bed. I spent some time in helping to catch the other dog

which of course we didn't do.

Slept well but 666 woke me 6 times one of which was the

arrival of XUL Solar (so he thought 0 and he was right - for

this AM Marie announced him and shortly after he announced

himself.)

Received letter from Goiran - cheque 154.96. Send Knickers &

letter to Suzanne. Lunch at 12:30. 666 sleeping now - Letter

to Sullivan ready, also copying one to Bill which I doubt

will ever be ready.

June 6 C

9 AM I had planned to write up my diary every evening but

there is always something to prevent. Last night it was Sidi

Bou Ali - Notes in 666's diary. This morning 7:10-15 AM Opus

III (A) I did reverence to R.H.K. 666? Bright sunny day.

Hurrah! 3 PM Out for lunch, only we turned back and got here

at 1 PM. 666 sleeping - I want a hat! Headachy, tired and

heavy. A long dull (though bright) day. 41 g. w Turban to

XUL S. - no noticeable effects.

June 7 G 2:30 PM

Stupid day - it's clear but dull. We financed our hat

already home. 666 not yet strong.

June 8 11:45 AM A

Movies last night. Great ful. 666 talked to XUL S. undil

goodness knows when - every once in a while his rashing

voice so jarred on me that I wanted to scream. When this was

not the case, I heard the pipe going or the tea being drunk!

All this was relieved by Opus IV (C) (To become the Babalon

I need to be) 666? some time before 3AM. I went quite wile.

Received tobacco a few minutes ago but no other mail. Hell!

Have not and cannot decide about Hardelot Big fees today

June 9 K

Rumpus at Hotel - negress. XUL S. to Paris.

June 10 E

Beast to Paris. Copied letters, fancies, divinations, etc.

666 back at 6:40.

June 11 B

Woke at 5. Hell! It's earlier every morning. We had ``early

tea'' before 7 and breakfast about 8:30. 1 PM 666 in bed

still (having lunch there). I stayed in bed till 10 myself.

It is rainy again. 666 needs a big wallop from a big nigger

wench.

June 12 F

666 to Paris. Came home by 8:16. Did not expect him so I

went to bed with my Turban on. It came off when my Lion

showed up. Slept late - after midnight - Wrote a long long

letter to O.P.V.

June 13 C

Up before 8 but very sleepy. Letters - too late for Paris

trains 11 L - it rained, so I am glad. Tried to telegraph

O.P.V. but after waiting 1/2 hrs for information I thought

on the whole it would be savig time to send a P.C. XUL Solar

being waked up.

June 14 G

Up at 9 tho woke before 7. It's damp and chilly. Between

2:30-3:30 PM (after a Turban) Opus V - (C) 666 I kept my

mind off anything.

Msbtd. Opus VI - shortly after V - Ra-Hoor-Khuit (not having

been satisfied by it.) I had the feelig of being a ? and

generally then a penis which became gradually ready for

action and then the gradual ``going down.''

It was a great experience.

Preoccupied all day and evening, but enjoying every moment

in a quiet sort of way.

Dinner and cinema at Challas. Home after midnight. Nstn. up

day (i.e. started late at night).

June 15

Rain again. Stores in the kitchen drove us out to lunch.

Montgomery Evans and ``Alice, where art thou?''. Later - he

showed up (I like him).

June 16

Very tired when 666 waked me for breakfast. Last night -

tired unknown and I had scraps of a vision. I do not remem-

ber how it began, but the full moon, mstbn, and XUL S's

talking about ``breaks'' in his work perhaps helped. How-

ever, it was as follows:

S was thinking of ``choose ye an island'' - saw large white

birds, not clearly - which turned to serpents - finally a

peculiar large light dove colored egg with what appeared to

be a serpent around it. But it was not a serpent after all

because conscious of the inside of the egg in which I was a

serpent but then discovered that it was a bir with a very

long neck. There was an opening (not to the outside where I

had previously been), but to a tunnel sort of place. I

plunged in and saw a peacock - white. I called him Pera,

said 418, etc. and thought of the ``island.''

Then I saw a saucer with 5 pieces of sugar on it - one more

noticable than the others because it has a name in black

letters on it -

C N A N D E T T

Somewhere in the vision I saw a key but I can't remember

where _ I think after I saw the sugar islands - as my minds

ran to ``Now fortify it.'' I remember no more.

I dreamed about Kings and all the rest of it, waking once at

least and giving orders on goverment with great certainity.

I advise that no one should have power unless he was well-

trained and tried and it boehtered me because we seemed to

weed them out once and training takes time.

Jun 17 E

Paris with 666. Hot, generally uncomfortable. Two visits to

Suzanne. Two visits to Geriand (he was out). Dinner at

Chinese Restaurant - homeon 8:16. A.C. very tired boy.

June 18 B

Blessed sunshine! makes me remember the full moon last

night. She was very fiery and seemed much larger than any

moons I've seen before. Latters from Geriand and O.P.V.

June 19 F

No Hump, no aimee. Opus 7 Msbtd. Phys. Relief - 8 AM. Xul

Solar leaves tomorrow.

June 20 C

Began the day by trying to telephone to Paris. Finally suc-

ceeded and came out to lunch. A turban & '75 & wine & straw-

berries = Velly Sick Monkey. Xul S. left about 4:50 PM tho

he had planned to leave the day before. Disliked Evans' way

of ``being a sport.'' After all, Xul S. has qualities which

no amount of cultivation, experience or anything else can

give to Evans.

June 21

Beast to Paris - I, feeling ``queer.'' Could that tiny bit

of Biscuit have done it??

Loafed all day. Very nervous.

June 22 A

Cheque from G.

June 29 A

A whole week gone! A busy, lazy week at that. Went to Paris

on E June 24 and again on Friday June 28. Called on Geriand

both times - saw him on C. He has made a mess of the

Bourcier business.

June 30 K 7:25 PM

A Turban of 6 - hous errors. Wrote a long letter to Goiraud.

I hope it doesn't puzzle him too much. Have waitedthis long

time to write B.C. - Hell! I have no paper. 7:30 - it seems

hours. Reflection - So soon! 7:40 He (who?) the man at the

bar (why?) He lost his leg in the army. Did he belong to

Coxie's army. If so, what is he doing a Frenchman?

July 1 E

To Paris, under protest. I was as cross as could be in the

morning, felt thoroughly unprepared to go to Kammerley Hall,

yet the moment I left the house I found myself as keen and

capable as could be.

Programme in Paris (resume)

1. Kammerly Hall - couldn't see him - appt. for F.

2. Suzanne - pd. her 50 fr.

3. Suzanne Aunt - no velvet - to call in PM

4. Coat, Scarf, Walking Stick.

5. P.O.

6. Done at 12 & sat with Willy for a lont time, then the

``Old Man'' joined and invited me to fix up his flat. I made

a date with him for F at 12.

7. Dentist - nice man. Estimate 3300 fr.

8. Suzanne A. again - 100 francs for berre.

9. Home at 5:24 - 666 met me!

10. Home - dinner & long letter to O.P.V.

Cross again - as soon as I struck Chelles! Hell!! Well?

July 2 10 AM A

Raining like hell. 666 sleeping tho we planned to go to

Paris. Two long letters to O.P.V. copied 4 pages of my own.

666 off on 5:56 - I to P.O. and shopping. Caught in healthy

shower! Home at 6:40.

July 3 1 AM

Noises - strong smell of chloroform, or so I supposed. But

sleep is all off. God help me!

1:08 AM I was too busy listening to listen write - and I do

not dare to sleep. The window is now open. I don't dare to

close it. And I am afraid!

About 20 minutes ago Opus VII msbtd - To get going to Estab.

the L. of T. - action, in other words.

I trust this is not it. But after all if it is the action

needed, I shall do not fail to do all I can. Am I quite

crazy?

July 5 G

Spend F night and E in Paris. Took 9:44 F, visited Dentist,

Counsel, B.C.F., Kennerley Hall, and the Dame. Shopped in

Maine and after a siege with the dentist E A.M. caught the

12:02 back home.

In Paris

1. Dentist - bill to be presented when work is completed.

2. Consulate - H.B.M.C.G. was not in. But one of the men

there informed A.C. that his passport was not in order and

that the V.C. was ``green.''

3. Kennerley Hall - Spend 1 hour with him & have promised

to send him a report.

4. B.C. Fund

I called there at 11:40 while A.C. was still at the

Consulate.

The door was opened by Miss Clayton, the woman who called at

5:00 May 1. When I said, ``You are the very person I want to

see,'' she said, ``You'll have to see Miss Macnsughton'' and

ushered me into the Dewine Presence. I got a chill from

which I have not yet recovered. These worms have to have

some means of self-protection.

I told her I had called to pay back the 20 francs lent by

Miss Clayton, unless it had not yet already been repaid. She

said ``No.'' Then, I pulled out the 20 fr., held on to them

for dear life, and said I should like to talk to Miss the

lady - etc - I don't know her name - what is her name?

She refused to let me talk to Miss C. on the ground that

they were finished with the case, it being a consular case

and ``You're not a British subject? You're an American.'' I

protested: ``Oh no, sweety, I'm Swiss.''

She referred to the ``record'' before her and said that

there was nothing to report - M. C. & his friend (secretary)

had been ejected, order 5000 fr. to the proprietor, and she

had telephoned the Consulate on May 2 to say it was a

Consular case.

``Is that all?'' said I, innocently.

``Yes,'' she said.

``Then what did th eman at the Consulate refer to when he

told you that throughout it looked to him like a

`professional case'?'', flashed I, verbally and with my eyes

firmly fixed on her.

No answer. Damn my soul, I became kind-hearted, and helped

her out (I wonder whether I did really) by saying ``You

don't remember those words?''

Said she ``No'', but hardly audibly.

``Well, I do,'' remarked Miss Leah H, and told her my embar-

rassment in being forced to listen to a telephone conversa-

tion.

She dropped the subject and asked quite cooly about the

payment. I handed her the 20, and she dipped her pen in a

nearly empty ink-pot (red ink) at least 20 times. I wonder

if anyone can read what she wrote! I paid up and asked her,

as she refused to allow us to do so myself, to thank Miss C.

for her kindness and timely help.

``20 fr. looked very large to us that day.'' said I.

The ugly old Macuaughton was back on the job.

``It's very queer,'' said she, ``that such a condition

should have arisen.'' (This with as positive convication as

the rosy-cheeked person's ``professional case'' remark. They

should leave the Pooblic Service and give Jung etc. instruc-

tions in psychoanalysis.

``Not when you know the circumstances,'' quoth I, and

exited.

Later, we called again and were received by the Furnance

Man, so I thought at first sight. Our acquaintance he viewed

more like what I imaginethe least incapable people in a

poor-house to be like. He swelled with importance when he

announced that he was in charge!!! A.C. rambled on and the

charge gave his views on the duties, priviledges, etc. of a

Pooblic Servant.

His final speech, on A.C.'s asking if he saw murder done in

the street, would he give evidence or notify the police, was

``If you want to keep out of trouble, you'll get away as

fast as you can'' or something to that effect.

So much for Poohblick Survints!

July 6 A

Wright & Brown called yesterday. No Anna W.! 666 not well.

Tired and uninterested. I busy all day morning writing up

acct. of Vavin Slong & letters for Cuald, etc.

July 7 K

Paris by 9:44. Met M. de Lima, a play writer. Leo, Cancer

man - missed the 8:16 by 1 minute. Home late. Also met Ella

Burgin and Nelam, of Lady Hamilton extraction.

July 8

Letter from O.P.V. re B.D. Collins, etc. Good by.

July 9

Paris on 1:35. Dentist & Suzanne. Hunt. Dame - de Lima,

Wright. No Willy. I bet she dit it, the bloody fool.

July 10

Rotten all day. 9 PM Opus VIII Msbtd. Reverence to R.H.K.

Letters from Alabana, she may have sinled July 3!

July 11

Woke feeling rotten. Not going to Paris as for appointment.

Patron telephoned. Garalin PM. Mnstrm - 1st day.

July 12 G

Hot as hell. Cheque from G - gave it to Patrons. Sewed and

wrote letters to A.I. and Prog.

July 16 B 5 PM

``I want to know the future'' is the ansser that grass made

me utter, in searching for the cause of my present state of

health. I took 4 drops before lunch to this end.

On K I had too much and was deathly ill with it, too much

'75 and wine. 4 drops gives me all I need in the line of

relaxing and no discomfort.

July 17 F

500 fr arrived from London, making 10 pounds in all (250.50

rec'd on E).

July 18 4:15 PM

Yi - How shall I act at present with regard to Alma?

Earth of Sol. No XXII, Pi Twan - Avoid Initiative

Line 1. Show the excellence of your way as enabling you to

despise material matters.

Line 2. Art is very well, but dependent on life.

Line 3. Show how fortunate you are. Be firm about it.

Line 4. Offer to help her with great simplicity and great

enthusiasm, using sincerity.

Line 5. Set her feel that she owes to you even her present

degree of manifestation.

Line 6. Show that the supreme virtue is simplicity.

(Later msbtd: this AM 8:30? Some Life in A.C. Wrote letters.

4 gr before lunch - 4 before dinner. To write to Alma.

8:40 PM The keynote to Alma is that her mind is practically

gone.

A minute or so ago I found B's bottle of O. and took a bit

to sober me sufficiently to write Alma.

8:50 I started to write Alma. But it doesn't write. I think

I'll decide on the Yi's first injunction and take not the

initiative.

July 19 G

My day off! 11:30 AM and I'm still in bed! Smoked 4

cigarettes and just loafed.

7 PM Eventful day:

1. Telephone call - Dentist 10:30 AM

2. Letter from Alma 11 AM

3. Letter from M.E. 2nd 11 AM

4. 666 to Paris 2:41 PM

5. Con. of Police called 5 PM

6. Letter from OPV 4 PM

7. Telegram Leak? London 7 PM

I also washed my hair and scrapped thetin box. Feeling

rotten, I decided to feel rottener.

Oh yes! Greatest of all!!!!! !666 ate 2 bananas! before

lunch!!!!!

Trying to write to Alma but simply can't.

July 20 A

To Paris. Sullivan.

July 21 K

To Chelles. 13 pounds O.P.V. Pictures of Chefalu people.

Letter from M.Clark and amount & money.

July 22 E

Back to Paris on 2:35. Stayed at Marina Hotel. Evans here -

I very tired.

5:53 PM 666 sleeping. Baggage, baggage everywhere. And not a

rag to wear!

July 27 A Montramarte 24 rue Samarck

Been here since B July 23. F met F. Harris after lunch at La

Paiu, and visit to Bishop & G. E A.C. talked with F.H. -

Anna Wilson at Doma. F Letter from Alma - she's sentmy $100.

10:35 AM - Making list of books in Box B.

12:30 PM At the Savoyard, after listing books in Box B. Fine

day. Four pounds from D.L.T.C. I feel very excited about

going to London. I must get my Rogues Gallery going again.

Auiden yesterday - planetary restaurant.

July 30 B

9 AM Symbol No XXXII How to use H.N. Hall. A.C. had lunch

with him. Suzanne & Suzanne have been paid off, and walked

in year rig to Henry's Bar where Anna received us! Dinner at

Suzanne ru Paine. Home James!

F Chellas by the 9:14. Hall came out later. I like him -

but?

Aug 1 C

11:40 AM 666 is not feeling well. I have been running about

all morning but cannot dec'd what to take to London. What I

saw as strength to cary on a very definite line of campaign.

I shall close this record now, and start another one (as

soon as I get it).

Dec 2 1924 ev

7:40 - 48 PM Invocation of R.H.K. (Unity) & impromptu

special point. ``Work the work of wickedness.''

Dec 14 1924 e.v. A

AN xx A in Q K in ? 4:31 PM

I start a new Magicak Record. For months now I have dared

and sneered at and rejected what I termed ``old magical

methods.'' But all my actions to get something new have

brought me merely to a state of nervous collapse which seems

to have reached its limit today.

I can do no more than start all over again. I affirm that my

only reason for holding out against what seemed hopless and

unending difficulties is that I may be of service in the

Great Work. I have in the past taken upon myself a series of

tasks of which I neither understood the purpose nor con-

sciously. I do not know whether I have failed hopelessly or

whether I can still make good. I do know that I can merely

re-affirm these oaths, one by one; tho whichever one I may

select will torture me to look at the next.

But I think on reading over various old Diaries, that I had

better start with my 8o=3o Oath and work along those lines.

I hereby, 4:40 PM, A Dec 14 repeat:

4:44 PM I did so - adding Lilith to the other names.

I am ashamed to say that I was weeping like a baby all the

while but I think the tears have loosened up something that

needed to be hit at badly.

5:07 PM I just accused myself of not having the courage to

give up smoking. I have and I will not smoke until I have

recovered my physical looks sufficiently to allow me to do

so sensibly. I look like a butt that has been lying about

for a week.

5:14

I take this (sip of white wine) to Nuit.

I take this (1 dr Auh. Lau. in white wine) to Hadit.

I take this (cut my wrist with razor) to Ra-Hoor-Khuit.

5:27 PM While finishing typing above telegram from 666

arived. ``Strongly advise against American. Letter follows

explaining.''

5:45 I see quite clearly that all I have been doing for the

last few months was to ``hate,'' not to ``love.'' I mistook

this for ``the work of wickedness'' - O.P.V. set me right on

this thou I more or less suspected that wickedness was akin

to witchery - be-witching. Didn't I call myself ``Hag'' and

Witch and all the rest of them. Perspective is absolutely

necessary. Copies of this for 666.

7:13 PM Take first meal I have really eaten for a week. 1

cigarette with coffee because I looked human. Now, no more.

10:10 Pentagram completed (after nice hot wash).

11:40 But its all no use - my mind keeps whirling round &

round.

12:50 Msbtd. Magical (partner)

2:05 Been reading over Visions and also state of my life I

started on Hoble's suggestions

Midnight K Dec 15 - E Dec 16

To bed after the dance.

Dec 16 E

Asaha. 7:06 AM-7:16 My back gave way several times and my

breathing bad due to cold. Said ``Thou who art I'' not all

the time the red coat popped in.

6:25 PM Wrote to 666, O.P.V. and Ninette, but I can't get

going on the Hause business at all. Tried to write to Marion

but can't do that either. I thought my walk and meal at the

little restaurant would clear my mind. It has, but not for

this particular job.

Dec 18 F

5 PM It's all no use - I seem to be getting worse and yet I

have no conviction that I'm really on the mend. Am I delud-

ing myself?

E evening - Cinema

Wed AM - Msbdt. - calling madly on Chaos.

Occasional bouts of Asana

Wed evening - Cafe

Today St Germain in the fog and hundreds of indecisions.

Wrote letter to Marion - its good & it isn't - I want, I

want, I want.

And I'm going to keep on wanting. This AM - Asana - 15 min-

utes - ``Thou who art I'' & Pan Mantra going like mad.

5:08 I light the candle, I burn the incense

5:20-5:35 Asana - Thou who art I & Pan (This after Penta-

gram, creed, and collects). Great peace, but thought of

having cut up blue robe bothered me.

7:45 PM Typed hipta Poems - I must concentrate off the House

business for a bit. But nerves, nerves! And its all Magical

- but what to do, I don't know. I await 666's word but will

I get it and if I do, will I understand?

I will sit calmly and smoke a cigarette and drink my coffee.

10:50 I did it - I danced alone in my cafe - I danced with a

lesbian and I kissed the waiter - that's that! We'll see how

it turns out. But I'm out to get hard cash & I'll get for my

Big Lion Baby Snake - There are no iffs - I'll bloody well

get it.

12: - To Bed - Typed 2 oaths and had some soup. Now we'll

Invoke, invoke! and then to sleep

Dec 19 C

10:15 PM Got letters from 666, O.P.V., & V.I. & Alma, also

from furrier. Typed a bit of note to Suzanne - blast her. I

had to wait an eternally long time and then she wanted to be

paid!

The dress is - just not right. No work in me - Pentagram - 9

PM.

Poking about ever since. Cup of tea and too many cigarettes.

Now to bed & Pan Mantra!

11:10 - I did ``Pan'' it - it was great! And then I found

myself between just ordinary thoughts, paying all sorts of

things, ending with

I am, Iweep, I wail, I know

(Thought about Hause possibly being on his way, etc.)

Dec 20 G

After last entry last night I suddenly got up and had a hot

wash. I said, ``I am going to meet my Lord Chaos whose bride

I am.''

I ate a small bit of bread and invoked Chaos - my head burnt

as tho I were being branded by hot irons. I tried to repeat

my 8=3 oath, but got no further than ``a member of the body

of God'' -

Then I simply said I devote myself to the accomplishment of

the G.W. and to establish the Law of Thelema.

It was midnight when I slept and I never woke till 10 this

morning. Dreams - dreams - Astrid & Beast worried - Beast

very obscure - going somewhere but didn't seem to know. I so

uncertain, quite beyond myself. Two other men in the party.

My general impression is that I am not ready to take the

Oath properly yet. Am I trying to get out of it? I don't

know.

Got my coat and saw Suzanne - Heaven only knows what this

will lead to - but I did it. Anyway, the cook's a beauty and

the bed will be too.

Dec 21 A

12:42 AM After last entry - marketed - lost a franc on a

bunch of carrots (no I didn't go where the carrots were,

more's the pity!) Then a good fried - dress rehersal and out

in the blue dress to red home from 9:30 to 11:20 -

Nothing doint & get I think I am doing something. What? Then

Pentagram and Pan Mantra - used Z's wand instead of Sword.

Cup of tea - bed.

3:40 AM Not a wink of sleep in me - not a bit of work in me

- What the hell shall I do - Just bad breathing & tummy

ache, but I can't be hungry. Perhaps I am - I've been day

dreaming about America and sensational landing. Those things

never come off.

I could bet most anything (except my new coat) that there is

something devilish going on somewhere among the Brethren

tonight. It may simply be A entering R, if this is the time,

if so, he's entering on a gallop. What news tomorrow? Very

excitement is that of operation, not of fear - But all sorts

of precautions arise.

12:30 PM A

Slept from 6 to 10 - wake heavy, hot, dazed, and generally

miserable. Up at 11:30 - out for coffee and milk.

Things to do

1. See fur woman for collar.

2. See S. About (?)

3. Fleischman

4. Noble re books

5. Mrs. Ficke?

1 PM - Pentagram Asana and Mantra(?) Thou who art I

1:03-1:05 Asana - back gives way - I find myself all bent up

- 3 times I straightened myself out - also - mind wanders to

all the things I've to do and didn't do - exp. the Stewart

Waiter failures. But as soon as I get over these something

else pops up. It is really much easier to be an Episenpalise

and get it all out in a ready-made prayer.

Started to get ready to go to Ella B. & Dome, but couldn't

do it. Blvd clicking - 2 grog Americans & home. Ate 3 huge

Mortadel sandwiches.

Dec 21 A

7:12 PM Though I've been complaining about too many unful-

filled oaths, I add another to the list:

``I hereby take an Oath to refrain from smoking for a period

of 7x9 days.'' (This brings us to Feb 22).

Dec 22 K

6:10 PM After last entry - went to bed and msbtd. for

Magical Partner. Ten minutes later - tap, tap, tap, the

Waiter to ask me to come up and dance. But I was all in so

didn't go tho I had qualms about it.

Then sleep till 9 AM - Went for milk and Dubonet and my

friend called me - Mme. treated me to a Dubonet. (Typewriter

man came! new ribbon). Later to tele. - I met the old

antique and his wife - They didn't ask me to sit down -

1. Fleishman - wrong no.

2. Noble - not home.

Called in (1) not home - left note. Had scrap re: Italian

men about dates -

Freudian forgetfullness -

Before going for milk, from time I woke until 11 on and off

Msbtd

like mad calling on Chaos -

E 1:10 AM

Well, I'm getting on or off - I don't know which? Went to my

original cafe - entered dancing and had 3 drinks and desert

for nothing.

Then to Mere Catharine - danced likehell - no drinks except

1 coffee. One police officer there! Told me that bronze wand

was too heavy - Date with him at 10 tomorrow evening.

Wonder?

1:31 AM Finish Call to invoke Chaos.

Dec 24 B

5:52 PM I must have been drugged last ngith. Sent petit blue

to Kitty K and to N.H. - neither has shown up. I cry like a

hound every so often - tho I did have about 1 hour's peace-

ful rest. Every time I think of the House business I nearly

go out of my mind and howl and howl. I've got to pull myself

together. I can, for a short time.

Dec 25 F

1:19 AM Just returned after trip with Kitty and Kennedy -

They came at about 10:30 - B My dear old Noble came in at 6:

bucked me up wonderfully and left me 10 fr. What a man he

is! I love him.

11:15 PM A peaceful day - just happy and calm and quiet.

Dec 26 C

Still shaky - Msbtd again this AM?? Mnstrn - 2nd day. Calm

but not?

8:45 PM 3 dr Anh. Lew. in 1/4 glass wine - after dinner and

walk (cigaretts not got) To worship Hadit.

Dec 27 G

2:20 AM Msbtd - Union with Chaos - my whole idea seems to

deplete my body absolutely so that I may lose my thoughts -

But I am all wrong. I am starved, but I shall start to love

tomorrow.

There will be no more masturbation - Prhaps there will be

insanity or death, but there'll be something, if I have to

create it myself.

2:40-2:48 Preliminary Invocation. Peaceful but not sleepy.

Breathing difficult.

3:55-3:58 (3 minutes) Prana

10-10 2 min

10-15-5 1 min

Dec 27 G 24 e.v.

These three days are mine, G, A, K. I have 50 francs - I

have food in the house - I have charcoal and wood - I have

plenty of work to do - It rains.

What happens at the end of this 3 day period doesn't matter.

Nothing matters - now or ever. I drink the red wine with 4

dr. of A.L. in it, and read the Stele poetry from Cap. III

To Dome at 9 - after smoking 4 cigarettes and destroying ---

. I am a ... Another at Dome. Kennedy backing out of paint-

ing me. A grog and sandwich and oh how Willy loves me!

Souisse!! Abortions!! Death! Came home chilled - 2 grogs and

I'm as warm as toast.

Dec 28 A

11:35 AM Preliminary Invocation

Dec 29 K

12:34 AM Danced till noon.

12:25 AM This is the 3rd day. Wrote letters re Hause - Drank

- danced and now I'm ready for anything. Worries began again

- but not badly. To Dome at 12:45 - Met one Moissey Kogan -

Artist, Russian.

We went to Mlle. Selfers, studio (20 rue Boissonade) - she

weaves, then to his hotel, then to 2 exhibitions and finally

I came home. He's coming tomorrow - We'll see.

3:55 left ... and 1/2 glass cognac.

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